[Brother Gonzalez]

The following post is intended to inform you about some latest developments in the field of Bible Studies. It is not recommended that it be read by any person whose Salvation® is not secured by our Pastors.



As told by Professor White in this excellent post:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

Gay Oral Sex May Be Safe if You Keep the Invading Penis in Your Mouth until You Die!
https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=113187

there are ways to be gay that could be safe in Judgement day. Following that line of thinking, let's analyze if ALWAYS being gay is a sin, or there are ways of gayettism that God could let go unpunished.


First, let's analyze Corinthians:

Originally Posted by God, Jesus and King James V

1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

Ok, so this says effeminate or abusers of themselves with mankind are out of Heaven.


What's an effeminate?

Originally Posted by Some Dictionary

(of a man) having characteristics regarded as typical of a woman; unmanly.

So you can still be a manly man, go hunting, have kids, and have casual sex with some male friends: still not forbiden by the Bible.


What's an abuser?

Originally Posted by Some Dictionary

a person who treats another person or animal with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

So as long as there is some degree of care, but not so much that you enter in womanly emotions, well, you can still have some bro sex.


But there is a key to have in mind, and this is in the Old Testament:

Originally Posted by God and the Holy Ghost

Leviticus 20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

The key are the words "also" and "as".


1) If you only have sex with mankind, and not with a woman, then there is no "also" and you are on the safer side.


2) If you lie with mankind in different ways (e.g. receiving and not giving) than with woman, then there is no "as"


Summing up:


a) You have to be manly.
b) Be careful with your partner
c) Don't do the same things you do with woman, or don't have any sex with woman at all. Remember to keep manly habits (sports, ESPN, hunting).


It is safer to not have gay sex at all, of course, and this is only a theoretical study. Don't go telling everyone you are "gay" (YOU ARE NOT!) and forget about pride and all that stuff. That way you are going to Hell. Be manly. Remember: be manly. Manly, manly, man.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez

It is safer to not have gay sex at all, of course, and this is only a theoretical study. Don't go telling everyone you are "gay" (YOU ARE NOT!) and forget about pride and all that stuff. That way you are going to Hell. Be manly. Remember: be manly. Manly, manly, man.

Dear Brother,

You are verily an outstanding specimen of your lesser race and sure to gain a relatively prestigious position once in Heaven.

These are staggering ideas and they need to be lain out in the open as Jesus may come any day now (Revelation 22:21). In fact, out Godly Creation Science Team has been continuing its research on these issues and we have been able to discover yet another way that i) includes rectal penetration of a man by a True Christian™ man and ii) still does not count as a homersexual encounter. This method is called "doing marital duties by proxy".

Please, let me elaborate. If a True Christian™ man who - inevitably- finds the conjugal relations tiresome and nauseating, yet necessary (Genesis 1:28), he can still perform those by using another man as a prophylactic. If another man does the actual penetration into the hole of horrors, the tunnel of terrors that is the vile vagina, this penetration is obviously adulterous but still heterosexual. Now the True Christian™ man can penetrate the other man's derrière and thus penetrate his wife by using this another bloke as a (sorry for the profanity) condom. The other man is not a sexual object, he is just a covering on the True Christian™ copulatory organ. This could be useful, e.g., in cases of male infertility that Prayer fails to resolve (which would be theoretically possible but not probable). There are precedents.

Genesis 38:8
And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

Now if I were infertile but my brother (I don't have one) wasn't, my brother could penetrate my sorry excuse for a wife (who is fortunately menopausal and my marital duties have paused permanently), and I were to penetrate him, there would be fulfillment of Genesis 1:28, my sorry excuse for a wife would conceive (and probably go to Hell for adultery but who cares) and I would still be the one performing my marital duties.

I am sure that our Brethren can come up with more examples. Is it Biblical? Surprisingly to the the sinner swarm (but not to us), it is! Praise Jesus!

Hebrews 11:11
Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised.

• You need to have Faith in this procedure.

Hebrews 10:20
By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh;

• You need to keep Jesus in your mind and Pray and the flesh though which you penetrate becomes only a veil and the real union takes place between you and your Hell-bound wife. You become one flesh just as Jesus intended (Ephesians 5:31).

Staggering times need desperate solutions to save a few souls more. You are into something, Brother. I also urge everyone (except the most seasoned Pastors) to keep this at the theoretical level for now. The Bible is indeed filled with wonders!

Onan also manufactures good generators.






Yours in Christ,

Elmer .

[Brother Gonzalez]

I am still wondering about what happens if when you are having masculine bro sex, you are not in a horizontal position. I mean, technically you are not covered by Leviticus if you are having stand-up sex.But this is even more advanced and I don't want to condone all the so called gay gloryholes out there.