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Reload this Page Audiobooks: cross-dressing for your ears!
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Exclamation Audiobooks: cross-dressing for your ears! - 01-28-2008, 06:43 PM

I recently discovered the phenomenon of audiobooks. They have been around for a long time, but it seems that with the popularity of ipods and such, they are becoming more and more popular.

At first, audiobooks seem like a great idea: why waste taxpayer's dollars on schools that teach people to read, when you can just record the Bible and other proper books? What a perfect example of free-market efficiency trumping government failure.

However, when I was checking Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for backmasked satanic messages I made a horrific discovery: whenever a female is quoted in a book, the man reading the book says her part! Often in a faux-feminine voice!

The actors who record audiobooks are not just reading out loud, they are doing the audio equivalent of CROSSDRESSING!

God makes clear in the Bible what he thinks of crossdressing, and anything that comes even close to crossdressing:

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. -- Deuteronomy 22:5

"I will punish ... all such as are clothed with strange apparel. -- Zephaniah 1:8

"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." -- 1 Corinthians 11:14-15

There you have it: cross-dressing is a slap in the face of almighty God and if you do it He will have you tortured in hell, forever. In fact, if you even come close to cross-dressing, such as having an improper hair length, or just dressing weird, God will punish you. Imitating voices of another gender, or listening to them, is just the audio version of being in or watching a drag queen contest.

God said it, I believe it, that settles it.


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Default Re: Audiobooks: cross-dressing for your ears! - 01-28-2008, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
I recently discovered the phenomenon of audiobooks. They have been around for a long time, but it seems that with the popularity of ipods and such, they are becoming more and more popular.

At first, audiobooks seem like a great idea: why waste taxpayer's dollars on schools that teach people to read, when you can just record the Bible and other proper books? What a perfect example of free-market efficiency trumping government failure.

However, when I was checking Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for backmasked satanic messages I made a horrific discovery: whenever a female is quoted in a book, the man reading the book says her part! Often in a faux-feminine voice!

The actors who record audiobooks are not just reading out loud, they are doing the audio equivalent of CROSSDRESSING!

God makes clear in the Bible what he thinks of crossdressing, and anything that comes even close to crossdressing:

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. -- Deuteronomy 22:5

"I will punish ... all such as are clothed with strange apparel. -- Zephaniah 1:8

"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering." -- 1 Corinthians 11:14-15

There you have it: cross-dressing is a slap in the face of almighty God and if you do it He will have you tortured in hell, forever. In fact, if you even come close to cross-dressing, such as having an improper hair length, or just dressing weird, God will punish you. Imitating voices of another gender, or listening to them, is just the audio version of being in or watching a drag queen contest.

God said it, I believe it, that settles it.

I bet these "men" wear frilly pink dresses while they read!
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Default Re: Audiobooks: cross-dressing for your ears! - 02-01-2008, 12:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheshire View Post
I bet these "men" wear frilly pink dresses while they read!
Voice actors have been known to do absurd things, with their excuse being "I'm trying to get into character". I fear to imagine what sort of depraved actions the Harry Potter reader must have done to "catch the essense" of little Hermionie Granger. Sick deeds to get into her mindset, what with her budding sexuality and innocent sexual curiosity barely controlled urges as she tumbles in the throes of puberty and all, which is very noticable in his voice.

And I'm certain there's backmasked satanic messages there. I'm sure I'll find them if I listen a few more times.


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Default Re: Audiobooks: cross-dressing for your ears! - 02-01-2008, 12:31 PM

Audiobooks make books accessible to a wider audience. Since 99% of all books are evil, it makes sense that this new book-sharing technology would be inherently sinful. I'll bet this whole thing is just a scam to get ignorant, illiterate nigras familiar with the Satanic ideas of Franz Fanon, Chairman Mao, Malcolm X and Barack Obama.

Don't even get me started on how much I hate libraries.


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