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  • Justina Thyme
    Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2007
    • 1718

    #1

    Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

    Brothers and Sisters, rejoice with me! There are still some good, decent Christians who follow the Holy Word and marry off their children the Biblically correct way--by arranging marriages for them. Just look at this:

    This website is for sale! marryourdaughter.com is your first and best source for all of the information you’re looking for. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, marryourdaughter.com has it all. We hope you find what you are searching for!


    This has just made my heart so full of love for Jesus.
    Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

    1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

    A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
    Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

    LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

    sigpic



  • RevColinJamesTodd
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Feb 2008
    • 100

    #2
    Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

    Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
    Brothers and Sisters, rejoice with me! There are still some good, decent Christians who follow the Holy Word and marry off their children the Biblically correct way--by arranging marriages for them. Just look at this:

    This website is for sale! marryourdaughter.com is your first and best source for all of the information you’re looking for. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, marryourdaughter.com has it all. We hope you find what you are searching for!


    This has just made my heart so full of love for Jesus.
    Glory sister! Glory!

    This isn't something our Church have practiced, but then maybe that's why so many of the females in our compound are without husbands. This is definitely something we'll be looking into in future.

    Arranged marriages are a good way of making sure your daughter's marry the RIGHT man. God forbid we leave all these important decisions to our own children. They might bring a negro home, or start dating a jew or courting a goth or similar trash! Imagine the shame that would bring!

    Comment

    • Justina Thyme
      Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Dec 2007
      • 1718

      #3
      Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

      Pastor Colin, that's exactly what I thought when I found this site. I do hope that some of the Godly Christian folks avail themselves of this service. There aren't many place like that any morel
      Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

      1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

      A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
      Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

      LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

      sigpic



      Comment

      • Wide-Open
        Director of European Evangelical Outreach
        A Shining Example of Christ's Love
        Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
        True Christian™
        • Nov 2007
        • 18449

        #4
        Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

        A fine service indeed Miss Thyme!

        I signed up, but then, sadly, somehow they got all uppity with me.

        I then found this:




        To propose to one of Our Daughters, just click on Propose on her listing and you will be directed to our proposal form. Please do not propose to multiple Daughters or you risk having all your proposals disqualified.
        That ticked me off it did!
        Psalm 81:10:
        I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
        open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

        Comment

        • Offcr. Albert Martin
          Unsaved Meter Maid
          • Feb 2008
          • 250

          #5
          Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

          I think marriage should be because you love the spouse and are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person (if you're a male, I say her, if you're a female, I say him).

          Arranged marriages often end in divorce, right?
          Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621

            #6
            Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

            Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
            I think marriage should be because you love the spouse and are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person (if you're a male, I say her, if you're a female, I say him).

            Arranged marriages often end in divorce, right?
            I think that bishops should be married, as the Bible says. What do you say to that, you vile old Papist?
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • Glendora Christianson
              Spiritual Mother of LBC
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 2329

              #7
              Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

              My son Skeeter was disappointed with the website as well. Although Skeeter just got a promotion at the Wal-Mart Tire and Lube Center, he still can't afford the gal he really wants. I warned him about the $5495 one - you get what you pay for.

              PS Skeeter would appreciate it if more comprehensive pictures were available to serious lookers.
              Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

              Comment

              • The Black Lion
                Unsaved trash
                 
                • Mar 2008
                • 26

                #8
                Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                Given the secular nature of the U.S. legal system I would imagine this form of transaction to be an extremely risky investment.

                Slavery is illegal. Therefore, I can only conclude that a suitor would be paying for the right to marry the girls and not for ownership rights to the girls themselves. Given such circumstances there is nothing preventing the girls from annulling the marriage or divorcing the husband after the financial transaction is completed.

                Due to emancipation laws, any form of prenuptial agreement would be binding to the spouse and not her parents. Once married a child is no longer the legal responsibility of the parents and any prior arrangement concerning the future actions of the daughter would not be legally binding on the parents.

                I have a lingering suspicion that the site in question is not genuine.

                “Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"

                But maybe I am merely overestimating the character of today's parent.

                Comment

                • Larry Lee
                  Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                  True Christian™ Theologian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 4464

                  #9
                  Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                  That's a wonderful site, Sister Justina. When you read the descriptions of the girls -- and squint your eyes at their blurry images -- your mind just naturally starts speculating on the different scenarios and possibilities.

                  Still, I noticed there aren't many "older" girls included on the site. Do you suppose they'd mind if we placed Sisters Thumper and Sue Vera up for sa marriage?
                  sigpic

                  I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                  Comment

                  • Justina Thyme
                    Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
                    True Christian™
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 1718

                    #10
                    Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                    No, Brother Larry, I don't believe there would be any objection. However, at least in the case of Sister Thumper, you would have to procure her permission, since she is betrothed to our very own Pastor Zeke,whose permission you would also need. I don't know Sister Victory's current domestic arrangements, so she may be somewhat more amenable to such a suggestion.

                    Best of luck in however you handle this situation, and know that God goes with you. Glory!
                    Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                    1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                    A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                    Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

                    LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

                    sigpic



                    Comment

                    • Larry Lee
                      Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                      True Christian™ Theologian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 4464

                      #11
                      Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                      What an excellent idea! Let's marry off Sister Victory, raise some dough for the new Church baptismal pool and sauna, and then invite Victory back to skinny dip (Biblically speaking) with us after her new arrangements are all settled.
                      sigpic

                      I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                      Comment

                      • Old Iron Crotch
                        SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                        • May 2007
                        • 3056

                        #12
                        Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                        Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
                        No, Brother Larry, I don't believe there would be any objection. However, at least in the case of Sister Thumper, you would have to procure her permission, since she is betrothed to our very own Pastor Zeke,whose permission you would also need. I don't know Sister Victory's current domestic arrangements, so she may be somewhat more amenable to such a suggestion.

                        Best of luck in however you handle this situation, and know that God goes with you. Glory!

                        How long have Thumper and Zeke been engaged now, with no wedding date set? How about it Zeke? You gonna marry this girl and get busy making Christian soldiers or not? Her eggs aren't getting any fresher.
                        Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                        Comment

                        • Daisy Mae Johnson
                          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15708

                          #13
                          Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                          Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                          How long have Thumper and Zeke been engaged now, with no wedding date set? How about it Zeke? You gonna marry this girl and get busy making Christian soldiers or not? Her eggs aren't getting any fresher.

                          I know, I know. I can't wait for the day I can finally stop dreaming about this and really hold him in my arms!

                          ~sigh~
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                          Comment

                          • Offcr. Albert Martin
                            Unsaved Meter Maid
                            • Feb 2008
                            • 250

                            #14
                            Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                            I think that bishops should be married, as the Bible says. What do you say to that, you vile old Papist?
                            That is a KJV mistranslation, twisted to make us look wrong...If you looked at the accurate translation, the speech is about deacons, not bishops.
                            Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

                            Comment

                            • narrowpathy
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Jan 2008
                              • 318

                              #15
                              Re: Christian Arranged Marriage Website! Glory!

                              Are you sure that site is not a hoax?
                              "Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004

                              Comment

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