Hägar the Horrible



Hägar is a Viking and a faithful family man, which is the only laughable thing in this aptly-named strip. Vikings and sexual temperance are mutually incompatible. The salacious Scandinavian would rape Momma if given the chance.



The naughty Norseman also has an umlaut in his name. Umlauts are nearly as suggestive as diphthongs and have no place in a family newspaper.


Brenda Starr



The title character is an investigative reporter and has many steamy romances. In other words, she's a nosy whore. She has a shapely figure and gorgeous gams, which has caused many innocent men to have wicked thoughts. These poor, weak-willed fools have probably had fantasies of sleuthing with Brenda Starr and bringing a mysterious and evil kingpin to justice. Then, after several glasses of celebratory champagne, Brenda seductively removes their pipes from their mouths with her teeth and investigates every inch of their musky, septuagenarian bodies with her curious tongue.


Broom Hilda



Not only does this strip make the reader "suffer a witch to live," it also makes him or her suffer through painfully bad jokes. Even if Broom Hilda weren't a witch, I'd like to see her tortured and burned at the stake.



Prince Valiant



There's gay, and then there's Prince Valiant gay.