[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.

Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....

...And I'd be a lot worried if I were YOU, Ms. Hellbound! Jesus clearly hates you, otherwise you'd be Saved by now.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

No doubt to catch a glimpse of some fine matronly bloomers.

Umm.....I'd be a little worried if I were Glendora or Mrs Rogers....

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have become a bit plump and matronly as of late.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have become a bit plump and matronly as of late.

Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.

I assumed True Christian(tm) ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.

I assumed True Christian(tm) ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.

I don't know about her undergarments, you'd have to ask Elmore about that, but that red white and blue sequence dress Glendora wears to church is pretty impressive.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Not anymore!
And I do NOT wear bloomers.

Knickerless hussy!

I assumed True Christian(tm) ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.

I am not going to take your underwear bait, Mrs. Van HellsunkenChest.

Enough of your outrageous lies - Jesus is watching, and weeping.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Not anymore!

Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but you used to be almost cute. Well, not like Britney at eighteen, more like Rosie Odonnell.

And I do NOT wear bloomers.

PLEASE make some out of sailcloth or something!

I assumed True Christian(tm) ladies like Mrs Rogers and Glendora would favor the full Victorian undergarment. Them being so....ladylike and all.

TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) ladies have a modicum of modesty about them which makes them just that much more appealing in a Christian sort of way.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM)
Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but you used to be almost cute. Well, not like Britney at eighteen, more like Rosie Odonnell.

I weigh 100lbs, not 300. 100! And for those who use kgs, just about 46kgs. Now if anyone thinks THAT is plump....

PLEASE make some out of sailcloth or something!

What's it to you? Clothes cover all of that area when I'm out in public.

ladies have a modicum of modesty about them which makes them just that much more appealing in a Christian sort of way.

Hmm, and I suppose that's why the good xtian men of the past ages gave the local brothels such enthusiastic clientele. old
It was only when their wives found out about their visits to such places that they put on the 'holier than thou' attitude!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Hmm, and I suppose that's why the good xtian men of the past ages gave the local brothels such enthusiastic clientele. old
It was only when their wives found out about their visits to such places that they put on the 'holier than thou' attitude!

I'll have you know that the ONLY time we True Christian brothers set foot in a house of ill repute is to preach the Holy Word! To bring the Good News about Jesus Christ to your fellow wanton harlots is our Christian duty! I suppose you would have us discriminate against trollops....

Why do you think we spend so much time working on you, VanHellover?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

I'll have you know that the ONLY time we True Christian brothers set foot in a house of ill repute is to preach the Holy Word! To bring the Good News about Jesus Christ to your fellow wanton harlots is our Christian duty! I suppose you would have us discriminate against trollops....

Yeah, yeah, I know, you were only in there either to preach or to get directions on how to get AWAY from there. old
Yeah, right...

Why do you think we spend so much time working on you, VanHellover?

Because you hope to capture and brainwash electroshock convert me?

[lilith]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

I'll have you know that the ONLY time we True Christian brothers set foot in a house of ill repute is to preach the Holy Word! To bring the Good News about Jesus Christ to your fellow wanton harlots is our Christian duty! I suppose you would have us discriminate against trollops....

Why do you think we spend so much time working on you, VanHellover?

Really Zeke?
So...um..why were you wearing the mask & fluffy handcuffs then?
And wearing what can only be described as a leather thong?
With boots?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Really Zeke?
So...um..why were you wearing the mask & fluffy handcuffs then?
And wearing what can only be described as a leather thong?
With boots?

I was...that is...When we are witnessing to sinners, its important that they feel comfortable with us...to see us as regular folks. I was just trying to blend in while those 2 girls were....hearing about Jesus.

...Yea, that's it. That's the ticket....

[lilith]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

I was...that is...When we are witnessing to sinners, its important that they feel comfortable with us...to see us as regular folks. I was just trying to blend in while those 2 girls were....hearing about Jesus.

...Yea, that's it. That's the ticket....

Riiiiiiight...and the fishnet stockings?

I never realised that hearing about JC could be so....physical!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Riiiiiiight...and the fishnet stockings?

I never realised that hearing about JC could be so....physical!

Leave it to you Lilith to mock Zeke when he was being martyred for his faith. He fell prey to that evil cult The Order of Acephale while Pastor Zeke was witnessing in Chicago and was viciously tortured by the wicked and sultry brunet ‘Mistress’ Zaynab (clearly some kind of high priestess) along willowy Mistress Phi and the exotic Mistress Naoko (both obviously lesser priestesses). Despite hours of torment Pastor Zeke remained true to Jesus until a Landover Tiger Team could rescue him from the clutches of these She-Devils. So unbowed in spirit was Pastor Zeke that he begged to be left as he was; telling us with Jesus’ help he was wearing these harlots down and they would be on their knees before Christ before too long. Tears came to our eyes and the sight of such bravery. GLORY!

Shame on you Lilith for mocking Pastor Zeke like this, shame.

[lilith]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Leave it to you Lilith to mock Zeke when he was being martyred for his faith. He fell prey to that evil cult The Order of Acephale while Pastor Zeke was witnessing in Chicago and was viciously tortured by the wicked and sultry brunet ‘Mistress’ Zaynab (clearly some kind of high priestess) along willowy Mistress Phi and the exotic Mistress Naoko (both obviously lesser priestesses). Despite hours of torment Pastor Zeke remained true to Jesus until a Landover Tiger Team could rescue him from the clutches of these She-Devils. So unbowed in spirit was Pastor Zeke that he begged to be left as he was; telling us with Jesus’ help he was wearing these harlots down and they would be on their knees before Christ before too long. Tears came to our eyes and the sight of such bravery. GLORY!

Shame on you Lilith for mocking Pastor Zeke like this, shame.

Mock? Would I do that? I was merely enquiring as to Zeke's rather strange attire.
Not being well up on such things,I wondered if it might be some sort of ritual christian thing....just as his moaning "Yes,yes!" in such a passionate manner was very likely religious zeal.
Or something.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: True Christian™ Magazines

Leave it to you Lilith to mock Zeke when he was being martyred for his faith. He fell prey to that evil cult The Order of Acephale while Pastor Zeke was witnessing in Chicago and was viciously tortured by the wicked and sultry brunet ‘Mistress’ Zaynab (clearly some kind of high priestess) along willowy Mistress Phi and the exotic Mistress Naoko (both obviously lesser priestesses). Despite hours of torment Pastor Zeke remained true to Jesus until a Landover Tiger Team could rescue him from the clutches of these She-Devils. So unbowed in spirit was Pastor Zeke that he begged to be left as he was; telling us with Jesus’ help he was wearing these harlots down and they would be on their knees before Christ before too long. Tears came to our eyes and the sight of such bravery. GLORY!

Shame on you Lilith for mocking Pastor Zeke like this, shame.

Well...I am a a modest employee of Jesus...I don't like to brag. There are many behind-the-scenes dramas that transpire with no one being the wiser for it outside of a handful of Pastors and those TC's with a "need-to-know" status from the DOF. The point is, we all do what we can for Jesus. It's all about Jesus. That explains why I was shouting "JESUS! OH JESUS!" at the time I was rescued from that den of harlotry. I only wish I had been left there to see things to their climax.