[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I see.....

Well then.

Could Jesus microwave a burito SO hot, not even he could eat it?

Hey! You stole my burrito riddle!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

Hey! You stole my burrito riddle!

Here we go again with the homer innuendo.


Go look for your buttbuddies elsewhere, fag.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

Here we go again with the homer innuendo.


Go look for your buttbuddies elsewhere, fag.

Oh wow, that hurt, it really did. Almost as much as stepping on a leaf.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you know what the word "Riddle" means and that you're not a complete moron. Which if that is correct, you should be able to figure out what it means based on his post and my response to it. Go on, you can do it, we even spoke in godly English to make it easy for ya!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I'd like to know that as well. I suppose, considering they fly it may have been hard to drown them....but why have them in the first place? Little flying, buzzing, itchy bloodsuckers- doesn't that just sound like a wonderful thing to put on the earthold

Because He knew they would play a useful role in spreading GRIDS and malaria among the savage Africans that're dumb enough to fornicate with them.

[lilpentecostalgirl (Quarantined)]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

Mine would be why did he make ticks, fleas and other annoying pest.

[VictoryOS]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

Mine would be why did he make ticks, fleas and other annoying pest.

Good answer. The house I moved into this summer was infested with fleas. I had to pray for 3 solid months to get rid of them.

[Brother Lindh]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I'd ask Him what his favorite Christmas dinner is. This year, I'm thinking about boiling something (yes, I get tired of plain blood and crypt carcass). Just in case He drops in, you know.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I'd ask Jesus if he would rewrite the Bible again and finally put an end to the confusion of the other flawed Christian cults.
Then I'd ask him to send the pope and all his fag Priests to hell. And the Jews.
Mind you - an eternity being sodomised by Satan could very well be a Priests idea of heaven.

[see_the_light]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

If you could ask Jesus one question, what would it be?

Please post your (respectful) questions here.



Myself, I'd like to know why He decided to leave those pesky mosquitos on Noah's Ark. I mean, couldn't we have just let them drown?

Good pastor

In my case I can ask NOTHING!

Those answers HE chose fit to be given I have them close to my heart in my pocket KJV.

Anything else, let HIM decide what I must be told (in this or in the next life)

LET US PRAY!

p.s. Brilliant, I knew right away that you were testing us because of the "silly" mosquitos question, make us think of what we THINK that we want and then REALY thinking of what we need more from JESUS.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[QueenWink]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I don't need to ask him a question. Therefore, instead of asking a question, I would simply settle for making a statement. This statement would be, "Boink You Jesus!"

There are no other words or phrases that could sufficiently express my true feelings and thoughts about him.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

My question would be how did He know, 3,000 years ago, that Landover Baptist Church would emerge as the only path to True Christianity™?

The proof is obvious and incontrovertable once your eyes are opened to it:

And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein. Isaiah 35:8

The way of holiness? The unclean shall not pass and fools shall not err therein? That sounds like Landover to me.

An highway? Isaiah 35? I-35? And where, exactly, does one find Freehold, Iowa, the home and spiritual center of Landover Baptist Church? Let's go to the screenshot from Google maps:




You guessed it, right on I-35. All those years ago, and yet He knew even then! Truly the Wonders of God are beyond the powers of mere human comprehension.

[JennyD]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

I don't need to ask him a question. Therefore, instead of asking a question, I would simply settle for making a statement. This statement would be, "Boink You Jesus!"

There are no other words or phrases that could sufficiently express my true feelings and thoughts about him.

I would have to ask Jesus why it is that so very many people, when given the option of opening up to receive His gentle, penetrating Love and live in love and beauty with Him in Heaven forever, choose instead to condemn themselves to eternal torture in Hell.

What reason could they possibly have?! The mind boggles.

[Seeker]

Re: If you could ask Jesus one question...

If you could ask Jesus one question, what would it be?

Please post your (respectful) questions here.

If you died once and for ALL mankind, then why do you have so many books in the NT to follow rules? Sounds just like the OT law to me and many divide on this issue. I thought you said it was finished? To me, the NT should be nothing but a big grace party! Ahem.

Is it finished or not? Works, rules, anything, bular? Your church wants to know. They are sick of being devided over the one that would make Christianity even true/even friends unite/happy party. That would be the book of Acts for starters.

Is it really this difficult that men make it to be or not?

It would help if you would have sent the scrolls down in American!