[The Jabba Master]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

I, for one, am very glad that Noah decided to bring a pair of crab lice and a pair of parasitic loa loa eye worms on his arc.

You sir are sick... and just plane sick *Gose to the corner to thow up*

[Nobar King]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

I think I can add a bit to this discussion.



On a mission to Guatemala I was the team's entomologist and poisonous snake expert.



There were no snake alarms to report, although we did observe natives performing local snake rituals:

Who knows what strange spirits these people are conjuring up. Fortunately for us it was mostly ceremonial.

Back to bugs:

Insects are often misunderstood for their exessive numbers of extemities, but alas, they are God's creatures and deserve a little more inspection. Are they good or bad? That really depends on your perception. Are you a North Korean Gook being fed mosquito paste nutritional protien bars? If so, then you would be blessing your Lord and leader for such bounty.

Conversely, if you are in Mexico for spring break, every mosquito seems like a direct assault from the devil. So is the mosquito evil?

Insects can be beautiful:

Insects can also be beautiful. Not the ants in your kitchen, or the flies in your window. But look at these creatures:



Wouldn't you agree that these specimens are also unique and beautiful creatures? The Blue Morphos is an endangered species. Much is being done to protect these beautiful creatures, but a black market still exists for them. Not buying these displays is the best way to help protect these jewels.

Bees are also among Jesus' favorite creatures. They are put on the earth to help pollenate plants to humans can have food to eat. They might be frightening if found in a shoe, but when left alone the mysterious honeybee performs an invaluable service to man.



My goal here was not to change anyone's opinion of these creatures, but to expose the many ways that they are perceived, and how that relates to one's own perception of them. Hopefully we can see that there is some Godly purpose in such lowly life forms if we understand a little more about them.

[JackCousteauMinistry]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Originally Posted by Alaric Reinner
For a fun project, make your hand into a tight fist and place the first two knuckles of your fist against your lips. This is what it's like to kiss a dolphin!
You disgusting pervert.

Brother Deaner,

What's so wrong with being attracted to dolphins? My own wife if a dolphin, and we kiss every day. We met here at ‘The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry’, Tampa, Florida, and it was love at first sight. A few months later we were married, and we've been living happily together ever since.

God has blessed our loving union, and we hope to start a family soon. There is NOTHING wrong with a loving Christian relationship between man and mammal, as long as they marry and do things right. Praise Jesus!

Thanks,

Pastor Pierre Perrier and his wife 'flippy'
The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry

[Nobar King]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Brother Deaner,

What's so wrong with being attracted to dolphins? My own wife if a dolphin, and we kiss every day. We met here at ‘The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry’, Tampa, Florida, and it was love at first sight. A few months later we were married, and we've been living happily together ever since.

God has blessed our loving union, and we hope to start a family soon. There is NOTHING wrong with a loving Christian relationship between man and mammal, as long as they marry and do things right. Praise Jesus!

Thanks,

Pastor Pierre Perrier and his wife 'flippy'
The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry

Not THIS again!! This article about 'sex with dolphins' may show how the lower races (like Australians) were conceived.

QA) What is Zoophilia?

AA) Zoophilia is best described as a love of animals so intimate that the person (and the animal) involved have no objections to expressing their affection for each other in the sexual fashion. This is not to be confused with bestiality, where a person forcefully mates an animal, without their consent, and with no mutual feelings whatsoever. This is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.

[ForGodsSake]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

What's so wrong with being attracted to dolphins? My own wife if a dolphin, and we kiss every day. We met here at ‘The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry’, Tampa, Florida, and it was love at first sight. A few months later we were married, and we've been living happily together ever since.

God has blessed our loving union, and we hope to start a family soon. There is NOTHING wrong with a loving Christian relationship between man and mammal, as long as they marry and do things right. Praise Jesus!

Thanks,

Pastor Pierre Perrier and his wife 'flippy'
The Jack Cousteau Underwater Sea Life Ministry

What are you on?

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

The world around us is full of many amazing and beautiful things that God has created.

No doubt. Promising start to a thread.

It says in Genesis 8:4 "For God put the animals great and small for man to marvel upon and so man did look upon the duck and the clam and he did weep with joy".

It says in Genesis 8:4 that the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

This is not a sin, for as is written in Corinthians 11:7 "Saul's wife did turn away from Saul and recoil from his touch and Saul did go out upon the river and find a new wife, and he knew this wife again and again, yet no child did come of their union. And the Lord was glad."

Balderdash. It says in 1 Corinthians 11:7 that a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. Basically, it's telling Jews to take off those silly beanies. It says in 2 Corinthians 11:7, would to God ye could bear with me a little in my folly: and indeed bear with me. Well, I'm not willing to bear with you in your folly.

Making up Bible quotations is mocking God and disrespecting us. We don't go to the masturbators' forums you hang out in and mock you, so show us and the Lord the same courtesy, not to mention some intellectual honesty.

You can turn to Ezekiel 4:4 and read what God says about going to the bathroom in the water.

No, you can't, and you damned well know it. I'm not bothering to read any more, and I suggest that the moderators ban you immediately.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Bees are also among Jesus' favorite creatures... They might be frightening if found in a shoe, but when left alone the mysterious honeybee performs an invaluable service to man.

Oddly enough, except for the part about being one of Jesus' favourite creatures, exactly the same is true of Mexicans.

[Nobar King]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour kills hawk with golf ball, faces charges

When pro golfer Tripp Isenhour lost his temper and beaned a shrieking hawk in December, he might have thought the incident, like the bird, was dead and buried.

But the outburst has earned him misdemeanor charges and a torrent of criticism from animal advocates and bird lovers across the nation. If convicted of cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, he could face up to a year in jail and fines.

The PGA Tour late Thursday sent a written apology from 39-year-old Isenhour, who said he was only trying to scare the bird.

Golfer Tripp Isenhour faces up to a $10,000 fine on charges of cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird after authorities say he struck a hawk with a golf ball. Is that the proper punishment?

"It's just senseless when people kill wildlife when they are doing nothing but being themselves," said Lynda White, EagleWatch coordinator for the Audubon Center for Birds of Prey in Maitland. "They are noisy birds. It's part of their nature."

The fatal swing --- on his 10th attempt to hit the bird --- took place Dec. 12 while Isenhour was taping his Play Like a Pro video at the Grand Cypress golf course.

"As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset," the statement from Isenhour read. "I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away. As evidenced by our family having adopted three cats from a local shelter, I am an animal lover. We ask that everyone accept my sincerest apology, and please be respectful of my family's privacy."

According to documents from the investigation, the Orlando golfer was reciting lines when the federally protected red-shouldered hawk started making its "kee-aah" sound from about 300 yards away.

"It wasn't that extreme," said sound engineer Jethro Senger, who reported the incident to authorities a few days later. "Initially, it was causing us to stop rolling a few takes." That's what appeared to set Isenhour off, according to Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reports.

The golfer, who turned pro in 1990, hopped into a golf cart and drove closer to the feathered creature perched in a tree. For 10 minutes, while the crew waited, Isenhour hit several golf balls toward the bird. He eventually gave up and returned to the set.

The bird then flew closer to the crew and landed in a tall pine tree about 75 yards away. Again, the hawk began to screech.

Isenhour, who earned $471,000 last year and ranked No. 152 on the PGA Tour, started hitting drives at the bird, getting closer with each swing, witnesses told investigators.

On Isenhour's 10th swing, the ball hit the bird, causing it to fall more than 30 feet to the ground. Isenhour yelled, "I didn't think I would hit it," according to reports.

Famous golf coach David Leadbetter --- who didn't witness the episode --- said the odds of a golfer making that shot are one in several thousand.

Officials with the PGA Tour said they don't comment on pending litigation. Discipline --- if any --- is not made public, said spokesman Joel Schuchmann.

Grand Cypress officials said they were not aware of the incident until they were alerted by investigators days later. "It's an unfortunate situation," said Stephen Merriman, a spokesman for the Golf Club at Grand Cypress. "It's completely between the guests and the state."

When the bird fell from the tree, Senger and others ran to its aid.

"The bird was on his back, bleeding from his nostrils, his mouth was opening and closing slowly, and it was looking up at me as people ran over," Senger told wildlife officials. "I saw its eyes slowly close, and I was pretty sure that the bird had died."

A production assistant later buried the bird off the fairway, said wildlife Officer Brian Baine.

Unable to sleep and haunted by dreams of hurt animals, Senger told wildlife officials what happened. Investigators exhumed the bird, and it is being preserved in Ocala in case it's needed for trial.

Trip Isenhour should get an award for accuracy.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

I think that this hymn, sent to me by my usually godless third nephew twice removed, Zebulun, sums up a small part of the True Wonder™ of the Creation. I’ve no idea who the author, Eric Idle, is – probably some 19th century Baptist by the sound of it.

All Things Dull and Ugly,

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid--
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Lyrics: Eric Idle

[Dr. Zaius]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Here's a nice little cartoon image about an owl's ecology ministry:



See how the rabbit is a filthy liar?

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Every when night I go to sleep, I pray for all of God's creatures, from the mighty eagle soaring so gracefully in the sky to the antibotic-resistant flesh eating bacteria that began subcutaeously devouring the leg of Lucien Bouchard, former premier of Québec.

[Dr. Zaius]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

I had a feeling that not all frogs were bad:

Frog's Slimy Goo Could Help Diabetics

Monday March 03, 2008
Slimy goo from the skin of an exotic green and pink frog could provide a radical new treatment for diabetes.

Slime could stimulate insulin

Scientists say the South American paradoxical frog - so-called because it shrinks in size with age - secretes a substance from its skin which protects it from infection. But researchers believe the molecule could stimulate the release of insulin - the vital hormone lacking in diabetes sufferers.

An artificial copy of the substance, pseudin-2, showed that it could be used to boost insulin production in people with Type 2 diabetes. Even so, much more work must be carried out before the frog therapy is ready to be tested on human patients.

The research is being carried out by scientists at the University of Ulster and United Arab Emirates University.

Dr Yasser Abdel-Wahab, senior lecturer in biomedical sciences at the University of Ulster, said: "We are at an exciting stage with this research. More research is needed, but there is a growing body of work around natural anti-diabetic drug discovery that, as you can see, is already yielding fascinating results."

Normally insulin is produced by cells in the pancreas in the right amounts needed to regulate blood sugar levels, but in Type 2 diabetes either not enough is produced, or the body becomes resistant to the concentrations that are available. Currently there are 2.3 million diagnosed diabetes sufferers in the UK, most of whom have Type 2 diabetes.


The bright green and pink paradoxical frog, from Trinidad and the Amazon basin, is named because of its odd habit of shrinking with age. As a tadpole, it can reach 27 centimetres in length, but adult frogs are only about four centimetres long.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Well, I like watching them fight.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Here's a nice little cartoon image about an owl's ecology ministry:



See how the rabbit is a filthy liar?

She's also wearing a headscarf that makes her look like a lesbian or a Russkie. She was probably dumping that garbage in the river to try to discredit Christ and bring down capitalism.

I had a feeling that not all frogs were bad:

Hmm, the paradoxical frog and Nicholas Sarkozy - two frogs that God doesn't completely hate. Also, did anyone notice this?

Dr Yasser Abdel-Wahab, senior lecturer in biomedical sciences at the University of Ulster

I'd bet a dozen shiny nickels that raghead was only studying frogs in the hope he could find a way to blow things up with them. That goes double if he's one of the Irish Muslims, like O'bama.

[Nobar King]

Re: God's Beautiful Creatures

Here is another of Gods beautiful creatures. Look how He blessed the creature with a second head. This is clearly an example of the Lord's hand at work, for how else would a creature be able to survive like that?

Two-headed turtle goes on display

Two-month old is a rare example of a conjoined-twin birth




NORRISTOWN, Pa. - A two-headed turtle captured by a turtle collector is a rare example of a conjoined-twin birth, its owner said. The turtle would have likely died in the wild because it swims awkwardly and would be an easy target for predators, according to Jay Jacoby, manager of Big Al's Aquarium Supercenter in East Norriton.
The store bought the tiny turtle from the collector for an undisclosed price and will keep it on display, he said.



The 2-month-old turtle, known as a red-eared slider, fits on a silver dollar. It has two heads sticking out from opposite ends of its shell, along with a pair of front feet on each side. But there is just one set of back feet and one tail. The turtle is seemingly healthy, and the species can live 15 to 20 years, Jacoby said. The turtle has not yet been named.


The same exotic-turtle collector sold another Big Al's store a conjoined-twin turtle about 20 years ago, Jacoby said. The man lives in Florida, but he declined to identify him.