Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Hello everyone, I was listening to an excellent report on the way this once Christian country is slowly sliding down the pan because of demoncrats, their lieberal agenda and the Clintons, when it came to me that some people out there might be unaware of

Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover.




It is available live only to subscribing members of the residents of the Gated Community at Landover (i.e. 100%) but Nephew Zebulun, a major shareholder, tells me that the Unsaved Trash™ can have the Pearls of Pastor Deacon Fred and Brother Harry Hardwick cast before them anywhere and any time. (I don’t think I would have been so generous but who am I to question my betters?)

Further Nephew Zebulun adds that the broadcasts can be received in your Hummer or other very high-end vehicle if its radio is customized by “Gospel Conversions™” of Landover. (Don’t bother Googling it, business is by personal recommendation only and I doubt Unsaved Trash™ can afford it anyway.)

Anyway, without further ado, let me show you what you are missing. This is the weekly schedule, I will post the Special Program list next.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

OK, how many other radio stations can say that the next VeeP and the next President will be giving exclusive interviews to them? None! Yet here at Landover, we are proud to welcome Mrs Sarah Palin and her audience, “The Paliban” and - wonder of wonders – also Mr John McCain! (or should I say, President McCain? It certainly has a ring to it.)

Now look down the Godly and nearly endless list of Specials and tell me if that sin of envy is not creeping up on all you Unsaved Trash!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

What a wonderful lineup, and congratulations to all!

I only wish I were within broadcast range.

Will it be possible to buy tapes? I could establish a library for my congregation to borrow from. (We only have a Pennycostalist Cult station here in the North Salem area.)

[Wide-Open]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

I very mush enjoyed last night's broadcast Brother Bathfire. There was some serious rebuking going on. I was laughing so hard when that sinner -who wanted to top himself - got lambasted by Pastor Zeke himself! Who would have tought he'd actually jump!

SPLUT!

[Talitha]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

I'm pleased to say that the response to my appeal for Donations to Baby Jesus raised a substantial amount of money. At the same time, we managed to bring a whole Host of Souls one step nearer to $alvation©

There are certainly a lot of Sinners out there prepared to spend top Dollar to be Saved

[Bama_Girl]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

Ok, ya'll have sunk to an all-time low, even for you bible-based warmongers. Radio? Really?
Come ON! Do you really think that ANYONE besides yourselves actually tune in and listen to the malarky ya'll are trying to sell? And if only ya'll listen to yourselves then what is the point at all of even HAVING a radio station? I mean, you are just preaching to yourselves after all. No one else listens to your bullshit.
I would equate you idiots having your own radio station to an atheist having his own television station and airing nothing but anti-religiousness all the time. Only the believers (or lack thereof) would tune in. You are wasting your time and money.
A host of souls closer to salvation? Whatever. You mean you beat up on the people that call a quack a quack (meaning all of YOU).
If your precious god does exist, I think I would actually prefer your hell than your heaven. To do nothing but spend my eternity bent over pandering to one supreme being can't possibly be as fun as fishing for fire monsters next to George Carlin.

[JennyD]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

Only the believers (or lack thereof) would tune in. You are wasting your time and money.

Brother Bathfire, how was the donation drive?

Let's find out if O'Bama Girl is right (for once)!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

I really enjoyed the 'name and shame' broadcast of pro-abortion Doctors, their addresses and phone numbers. Lucky I know shorthand!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

Brother Bathfire, how was the donation drive?

Let's find out if O'Bama Girl is right (for once)!

God, GPO and Old Glory managed to raise $343,209.58 over and above the production costs. I’m pleased to announce that most of the donations came from disadvantaged areas, which shows that the people around those parts have Faith in the Power of Jesus to make them rich in a way that their education and background did not. Glory!

Particularly touching was the $1,000 from Mrs Emilia Fineheart, who, although suffering from diabetes, arthritis, cancer, and dementia managed to hand over the money to Bobby-Joe in cash when he called round. She is now safe and happy in the Arms of The Lord and her troubles are behind her. A just reward for the “Widow’s Mite.”

The largest single donation was $25,000 from Wallace A. Biggott of Burning Clan Holdings, Mississippi, who can be assured that every cent will be spent in the way he suggested.

Several donors rang in to mention that a zero had been added to their pledge. All of these misunderstandings have now been sorted out after members of Landover Outreach paid visits to their children’s schools.

Remember that pledges can be altered or cancelled by simply filling out the form at this address and that this is the ONLY way in which your errors can be rectified otherwise the pledge will be debited to your account each month.

Klan Komedy (episode 32 in which the Redneks foil the plot of Daisy Watermelon to find work) had the highest audience figures of 3.8 million – there is still advertising space available on this broadcast. So if you’re a loan company, manufacturer or retail outlet of alcohol, secondhand cars, guns, competitively priced ornaments, food or clothes, ring in now.

[SuperMarioTroll]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

I'm surprised BibleThumpinBlonde isn't part of that. She's a major contributer to this forum, and a devout follower of the KJV. Plus, another attractive face could garner more interest.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Radio K-KJV FM, the Voice of God at Landover

I'm surprised BibleThumpinBlonde isn't part of that. She's a major contributer to this forum, and a devout follower of the KJV. Plus, another attractive face could garner more interest.

Friend, Sister BTB already has the Ladies' Special clothing advice show. (see above) And it might be worth pointing out that you don't see faces on the radio. At least I don't.

Exodus 20:20
And Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.