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  • Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

    Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

    My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

    Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

    So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!

  • #2
    Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

    Awww! Sweet! Bless her. And congratulations on raising such a splendid little girl.
    2 Timothy 3:16

    All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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    • #3
      Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

      The fist is very effective. My two girls were raised on beatings through a wooden spoon. They are both very obedient young ladies. You are on the right track! Good job on raising a good American Christian girl!
      And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about. 1 Kings 7:23
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

        Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
        Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

        My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

        Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

        So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!
        Hats off to you Witch Hammer. You seem like a great father. Hopefully she will grow up to bear many sons for you.

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        • #5
          Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

          Originally posted by Dipper Man View Post
          Hopefully she will grow up to bear many sons for you.
          What are you implying, wretch?

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          • #6
            Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

            You are a better father than I am Brother Witch Hammer! I would never use my bare hands for educating children in the love of Jesus. Especially a worthless girl. You must love Jesus a lot and even your daughter a little to hurt your own hand for them.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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            • #7
              Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

              Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
              What are you implying, wretch?
              I misspoke Sir. I did not mean with you, or anything of that nature. I meant I hope she will grow up to have many sons so you can be a good grandfather. No disrespect, or sin intended.

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              • #8
                Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                Originally posted by Dipper Man View Post
                I misspoke Sir. I did not mean with you, or anything of that nature. I meant I hope she will grow up to have many sons so you can be a good grandfather. No disrespect, or sin intended.
                Tarnation,boy! Is you plumb idgit? Sassin one of them true Christians is a shore way to git mre of them red sqares i seen up by your name there. Tread real careful like,son.id hate to see what what'd be left of you if you get in a tangle with one of them fellers!
                Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

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                • #9
                  Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                  Originally posted by Orem Festus Jr. View Post
                  Tarnation,boy! Is you plumb idgit? Sassin one of them true Christians is a shore way to git mre of them red sqares i seen up by your name there. Tread real careful like,son.id hate to see what what'd be left of you if you get in a tangle with one of them fellers!
                  Can anyone translate this from demon possessed 4th grader to Godly English please?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                    Why don't you two queers take your nasty little homersexual dance of seduction elsewhere, you've both tainted this thread with the stench of sin.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                      Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                      Music to a father's ears, I tell you!

                      My 5 year old daughter asked me this today. I had somehow forgotten to give her a preemptive beating at 6:30 am, as is customary in our household. But she, the little dear, took it upon herself to remind me!

                      Potential sin, especially among females, is best nipped in the bud before it can blossom into full fledged wickedness. Correct the children betimes, the Good Book™ tells us.

                      So, my marginally thoughtful daughter, rather than try to flee from responsibility like most females, stepped up like a little trooper and took one in the teeth for Christ. God bless her heart!
                      All of you will rot to hell, after your children kill you of course.
                      Since it seems to me that i will banned soon for expressing my views, might as well tell you what i think .
                      Zechariah and witch hammer (sounds like a porn star) why don't you both take turns in whipping each other till you bleed and then proceed to fuck each other in the poopy holes. P.S Don't let your kids watch.
                      Pastor zeke and cranky old man can do the same on their own, after which they can join you both. Orgy baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                        You need to beat this girl again until she learns how to ask correctly, "may I PLEASE have a knuckle sandwich?"
                        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                          Glad to see everything works out for You and your family, Brother Witch Hammer.
                          -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                          -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                          -Holocaust Jokes
                          -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                          -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                          -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                          -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                          -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

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                          • #14
                            Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                            Originally posted by rolledup View Post
                            All of you will rot to hell, after your children kill you of course.
                            Since it seems to me that i will banned soon for expressing my views, might as well tell you what i think .
                            Zechariah and witch hammer (sounds like a porn star) why don't you both take turns in whipping each other till you bleed and then proceed to piffle each other in the poopy holes. P.S Don't let your kids watch.
                            Pastor zeke and cranky old man can do the same on their own, after which they can join you both. Orgy baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                            Go take a cold shower, pervert...then shoot yourself in the face.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Daddy, Can I Have a Knuckle Sandwich?

                              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                              You need to beat this girl again until she learns how to ask correctly, "may I PLEASE have a knuckle sandwich?"
                              Come to think of it, Brother, she also pronounced "sandwich" as "sammitch"...She won't get away with this outrage!

                              Sometimes The Lord's vengeance is a dish best served cold...

                              I think a series of kidney punches followed by a roundhouse kick to the face should satisfy Jesus!

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