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You couldn't make it up: every year, while the economy they secretly run goes to Hell in a handbasket, crazed Joos apparently get together to squabble about what kind of Hebrew muck is better, latkes (like fries, but with more Christ-killing. You could call them Freedom-Hating Fries) or Hamantashen (hat cakes made to celebrate the killing of gentiles. Is there no end to this insanity? 
Jesus weeps.
The debaters represent a range of academic disciplines. Some of the entries are described below:
- Hanna Gray discusses the silence of Machiavelli on the subject; noting that "The silence of a wise man is always meaningful"[4], she comes to the conclusion that Machiavelli was Jewish, and like all wise people, for the latke.
- Isaac Abella, professor of physics, asserts that "Which is Better: the Latke or the Hamantash?" is an invalid question, since it does not exhibit the necessary property of universality, is culturally biased, implies gender specificity, exhibits geographical chauvinism and appeals to special interests.
- Michael Silverstein, professor in anthropology, linguistics, and psychology, argues that it is not mere coincidence that the English translation of the letters on the dreidl spells out T-U-M-S. He cites this as evidence that "God may play dice with the universe, but not with Mrs. Schmalowitz’s lukshn kugl, nor especially with her latkes and homntashen."
- Professor Wendy Doniger of the divinity school, in a carefully footnoted paper entitled "The Archetypal Hamentasch: A Feminist Mythology", asserts that hamentaschen are a womb equivalent, and were worshipped in early matriarchal societies.
- In the debate at MIT, Robert J. Silbey, dean of its School of Science, has cited Google, which returns 380,000 hits on a search for "latke" and only 62,000 for "hamantaschen". Silbey has also claimed that latkes, not hamentashen, are the dark matter thought to make up over 21 percent of the mass of the universe.
- Allan Bloom posited a conspiracy theory involving Sigmund Freud and the Manischewitz company.
- According to literature professor Diana Henderson, "The latke is appropriate for lyric, tragic, and epic forms", but "There is very little poetry in the prune," a common hamentashen filling.
- The physicist Leon Lederman's contribution is entitled "Paired Matter, Edible and Inedible".
- An entry by the economist Milton Friedman discusses "The Latke and the Hamantash at the Fifty-Yard Line".
- The criminal lawyer Alan Dershowitz, during a debate at Harvard University, accused the latke of increasing the United States' dependence on oil.[5]
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