Translation help urgently needed!

[Faith_Machine]

This morning I was a guest of my good friend John Boehner at the Pope's address to Congress. I had my notepad with me, and was eager to take notes and fact-check any claims Pope Francis made against what was in my KJV, but I was caught off guard by the fact that I couldn't understand one word the little Latino said.


I think the congressmen must have had translations in their earpieces or some such because they gave Francis several standing ovations, but I couldn't make sense of one syllable that came out of his chili pepper-loving mouth.


Could one of you please ask your gardener or nanny to have a look at the video of Francis' address and translate it into understandable English?

Tell them if they get it done quickly, there's a ten spot in it for them. I'll pay cash, for obvious reasons.

Thank you, much appreciated.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

I had my notepad with me, and was eager to take notes and fact-check any claims Pope Francis made

This is rather like checking if bears shit in the woods.

If we add that to the truth that nobody south of the Rio Grand can open his mouth without lying, we can reach a pretty fair conclusion about the pope and thus confirm what we have always known.

However, if you send the clip along I'll give to the beaner who does the pool.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

Thank you brother Bathfire, much appreciated.

I've heard rumors Pope Francis was saying some crazy things about capitalism and how we should ban the death penalty and whatnot.


Do you think he could be on that Columbian cocaine or something?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

Unfortunately the head gardener is from Zimbabaland and Agnieszka is a Polak, so the Mexican language is Greek to them. However, Aggie is an ex-Catlick so she listened. She said the only bit she could make out with any certainty was something about the scenes and arrows of the pus.

I hope that helps, Brother. Maybe between us we can decipher the rest?

YiC
Joanna

[James Hutchins]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

I know a little of the messican and portugesesian as I have had to deal with those people from time to time.
I recognized him talking about gay sex, little children and telling everyone it is old news. He also said something about kissing babies and washing away ethics. Petty much what you'd expect from a catlick.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

Brother,

I don't have the Congress speech but this is the transcript of the one Frances gave in Communist Cuba!

En la objetividad de la vida tiene que entrar la capacidad de soñar. Y un joven que no es capaz de soñar, está clausurado en sí mismo, está cerrado en sí mismo. Cada uno a veces sueña cosas que nunca van a suceder, pero soñalas, desealas, busca horizontes, abrite, abrite a cosas grandes. No sé si en Cuba se usa la palabra, pero los argentinos decimos “no te arrugues”, ¿eh? No te arrugues, abrite. Abrite y soñá. Soñá que el mundo con vos puede ser distinto. Soñá que si vos ponés lo mejor de vos, vas a ayudar a que ese mundo sea distinto. No se olviden, sueñen. Por ahí se les va la mano y sueñan demasiado, y la vida les corta el camino.

I am always humble but also somewhat a linguist. Here's my translation:

"My objective in life is nothing else but to enter in all capacity in your sons. And a youngster who is not in the capacity of a son is closed for me, certified for me. Everyone is a Swiss and no-one is here to seduce (suceder) but the sons. Look at the horizon, open up for the great things [Sweet Jesus, this is terrible]. If you are not in Cuba now, come to Argentina, where we'll decimate you, eh! (What's this? Canadian?) Do not be a rogue, open up, open up your sons. Your sons so that the whole world can see it distinctly. Do not widen yourselves (all widen, olviden) but your sons. Show them with your hand (mano), demasculate, life is short if you walk."

I don't claim that this is perfect but it gives you the general, expected idea. He is calling a gathering of altar boys for obvious purposes. It is Jeremiah all again... Francis is trying to establish a new Babylon.

Jeremiah 39:6
Then the king of Babylon slew the sons of Zedekiah in Riblah before his eyes: also the king of Babylon slew all the nobles of Judah.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

This Pope is from the Mexican state of Argentina, which is far to the south, near to the South Pole. As a result, he speaks the Mexican language, though with a funny accent. People in the Argentinian state are largely unsaved, in thrall to Rome and are mostly gauchos. A gaucho is a cowboy that dresses funny. There are also many war criminals in Argentina and everyone hates the English.


I live less than 150 miles from Mexico and am fairly skilled at deciphering their language. I will let you in on a little secret: There are less than one hundred words in the Mexican language. You just make up the rest of the words as you go along. There are a few key phrases- "Donde esta la farmacia?" is one. Another is "A la Zona Rosa, por favor". A very useful one is "Dos tacos, por favor, sin insectos".


All Mexicans actually speak American. This is true of most primitive peoples around the world, though none of them like to admit it. Speak loudly and slowly and even the most obtuse Mexican will understand you.


So, as to what the Pope said: He was mostly saying that America is bad, but not real bad and the Pope is good and we need to stop global warming (the godless Democrats got real excited about that). Then he talked about peace and love and other hippie stuff. None of it was of any importance.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

Thank you Brother Elmer, for your helpful translation. My husband has asked me to raise just one small query with regard to:

No se olviden, sueñen. Por ahí se les va la mano y sueñan demasiado, y la vida les corta el camino.

which I see you translated as:

Do not widen yourselves, but your sons. Show them with your hand, demasculate, life is short if you walk.

He points out that while you have translated sueñen in the first sentence, you have not translated sueñan in the second. They are clearly spelled differently and therefore quite different words. Matthew believes the second to be what he calls a cog nait of the English word swine and so the line should read:

Do not widen (possibly we would say "spread"?) yourselves, but your sons. Show them with your hand, castrate your pigs, life is short if you walk.

YiC
Joanna

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Translation help urgently needed!

Thank you Brother Elmer, for your helpful translation. My husband has asked me to raise just one small query with regard to:

He points out that while you have translated sueñen in the first sentence, you have not translated sueñan in the second. They are clearly spelled differently and therefore quite different words. Matthew believes the second to be what he calls a cog nait of the English word swine and so the line should read:

Do not widen (possibly we would say "spread"?) yourselves, but your sons. Show them with your hand, castrate your pigs, life is short if you walk.

YiC
Joanna

Dear Sister,

You husband must indeed me a man of God, the total opposite to Pope Frances. This - apparently very accurate - translation of his indicates how poorly Frances knows the Bible. It is stated clearly that all castrated animals are repulsive to God and unsuitable on His altar! (I won't discuss the connections of Frances with the Created swine kind here, as it is common knowledge)

Leviticus 22:24
Ye shall not offer unto the LORD that which is bruised, or crushed, or broken, or cut; neither shall ye make any offering thereof in your land.

This is tiresome, revolting and a still logical continuation of the Vatican's plan to gradually destroy everything that is pure and precious for Jesus.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer