Greetings!

[Anne Sayne]

Hello everybody! My name is Annabelle Sayne, I go by Anne. My husband, George, is the one who monitors me and allowed me to join this lovely website! However, he did tell me not to reveal our church or location, but he did say to clarify that I am a proud American! Although I follow, listen to, live by, and simply LOVE every verse in the book, my favorite bible verse is Phillipians 4:8. I came to find Jesus when I met George, a perfect example of how much greater men are! Before then, I was meethodist So glad that George was so close to Jesus, or I would be in the big old barbecue by now! George and I were blessed with lovely, obedient children named Annabeth, George Jr. (both named after us) Sarah, and another on the way! They are aged 11, 9, 7, and 6 months (since conception) only 3 more months to go! A little advice I want to ask for however, what are some good True Christian™ names we can give our child, and some evil pagan/atheist names that we should avoid? We know that we won't be naming the child Eve or Lucifer, that's for sure Anyways, I'm so glad to be here and thank you for welcoming me!

[Basilissa]

Re: Greetings!

Hello everybody! My name is Annabelle Sayne, I go by Anne. My husband, George, is the one who monitors me and allowed me to join this lovely website! However, he did tell me not to reveal our church or location, but he did say to clarify that I am a proud American! Although I follow, listen to, live by, and simply LOVE every verse in the book, my favorite bible verse is Phillipians 4:8. I came to find Jesus when I met George, a perfect example of how much greater men are! Before then, I was meethodist So glad that George was so close to Jesus, or I would be in the big old barbecue by now! George and I were blessed with lovely, obedient children named Annabeth, George Jr. (both named after us) Sarah, and another on the way! They are aged 11, 9, 7, and 6 months (since conception) only 3 more months to go! A little advice I want to ask for however, what are some good True Christian™ names we can give our child, and some evil pagan/atheist names that we should avoid? We know that we won't be naming the child Eve or Lucifer, that's for sure Anyways, I'm so glad to be here and thank you for welcoming me!

Hello, dear, and to our Godly forum! Since you love every verse of the Good Book, I expect you to cite it often and wisely!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Greetings!

Hello everybody! My name is Annabelle Sayne, I go by Anne. My husband, George, is the one who monitors me and allowed me to join this lovely website! However, he did tell me not to reveal our church or location, but he did say to clarify that I am a proud American! Although I follow, listen to, live by, and simply LOVE every verse in the book, my favorite bible verse is Phillipians 4:8. I came to find Jesus when I met George, a perfect example of how much greater men are! Before then, I was meethodist So glad that George was so close to Jesus, or I would be in the big old barbecue by now! George and I were blessed with lovely, obedient children named Annabeth, George Jr. (both named after us) Sarah, and another on the way! They are aged 11, 9, 7, and 6 months (since conception) only 3 more months to go! A little advice I want to ask for however, what are some good True Christian™ names we can give our child, and some evil pagan/atheist names that we should avoid? We know that we won't be naming the child Eve or Lucifer, that's for sure Anyways, I'm so glad to be here and thank you for welcoming me!

Anne,
I suggest you post your question about names in the Prayer Shack once you become able to do so - IF you become able to do so. Your post contains much valuable information that will provide the Dept of Faith an opportunity to investigate your sincerity and suitability for Christian fellowship. They will be able to determine your location. Is husband a bit jumpy and fearful? We are Christians here, not terrorists who will stalk you in the middle of the night.


You failed to mention how old you are. Is your husband in good health? Are you fair of face? Kindly also describe the width of your hippal portions. While you have borne children, did you do so painfully?


I will add you to my electronic prayer list so that at various times of the month, you will be uplifted to the Throne of Grace™. I do bid you a cautious welcome. Your husband would have been more broadly welcomed, since women offer little to edify the brethren here. I trust you will spend more time in the kitchen than the computer room.


COME, LORD JESUS! (Rev 22:12)
BrotherLarry

[Anne Sayne]

Does your child have a "Best Friend"? Keep a close eye out!

Everyone knows that "best friends" are nothing but OBNOXIOUS. They raid your refrigerators, mess up the house, and beg you for ice cream and other sugary junk. What you may NOT know is that these "friends" are just MINIONS OF SATAN They never liked your child, they never wanted to help your child grow closer to God as 1 Corinthians 10:31 commands them. No, they do the exact opposite! I was babysitting the children of my meethodick sister (I agreed because she would pay me enough to buy a new vacuum. I prayed and God told me it was Ok) and boy am I glad I listened to Him! My niece Eleina came back from her filthy atheist public school with her younger brother Jack, and some other girl about Eleina's age. She was breaking many Bible-approved dress codes that we have in our home. She wore a skirt that was above the knees and no leggings, she had short sleeves and the bottom of her gold colored shirt almost raised to her belly button She even had BRAIDS, and a PEARL necklace, Which is most certainly NOT allowed in our home as 1 Timothy 2:9 tells us. I asked Elena who this little slut was, and she said "Its Melissa, my best friend" I made sure to keep a close eye on them until my sister came back. I asked Eleina, " Why is your friend a girl? You're 13, shouldn't you be at least betrothed by now? You should be with a True Christian™ boy, learning with him how to be a perfect housewife" And guess how that sassy-mouth replied to me? "Eww, Aunt Anna, it's literally like 2016 and I like shouldn't be married till I'm literally at least like 20. Betrothing, like isn't a thing anymore." I would complain about the fact that she doesn't know the proper age for betrothal, but we have a bigger problem. She is "hanging out" with a GIRL, and only God knows what they're doing behind my back! Sure enough, I was right. They were touching each other (or "nail painting" as they said) Puckering their lips and taking "selfies" which probably means they are kissing through their little gay screens, and they were even doing makeup together, like they were trying to impress each other! I lost my temper, wiped all the makeup off the table and onto the floor, took the lipstick and rubbed it carelessly on Melissa's face in a desperate rush to breat that filthy makeup (which did work) I got Melissa's occultic Disney backpack and shoved her arms through the straps and pushed her right out the door! Then I went to the phone and called my sister as fast as I could, and told her to come over and help because she wouldn't know Proverbs 22:6 if I hit her in the head with a Bible:kjv1611-read: Yup, that's right folks, best friends make your child GAY. I was able to give my sis a piece of my mind, and she started to homeschool the kids. It's a step in the right direction, especially for a hellbound metho-dick.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Greetings!

Dear Potential Friend,

At this stage of your investigation it is absolutely unnecessary for you to start a new thread each time you have something to say. This Introduction thread will suffice for now, so Jesus guided us to move your other posts here.



Please take this as a compliment and as a unique chance to join the only remaining True Christian™ Interwebs Community. This may eventually Save your husband and even you!

Romans 10:1
Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved.

You're now in my prayers!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Anne Sayne]

Re: Greetings!

Sorry for leaving out these important details! Thank God that men exist to help me go down the road to Heaven.

They will be able to determine your location. Is husband a bit jumpy and fearful? We are Christians here, not terrorists who will stalk you in the middle of the night.

Well, I cannot bear false witness (Exodus 20:16) but George is very cautious when it comes to keeping faith safe. He tells me that if we share a location, other internet users (not True Christians™) may find us and try to turn us away from God. God is the cornerstone of our household, George is the foundation, I am the builder (Proverbs 14) and the kiddies are the the helpless bricks. George protects the house while I build it. However, George said I could share location just this once: We go to Lakewood Baptist Church. George decided so because it is the choice for many baptists weekly. If we should change, just tell me and I will run it over with George.

You failed to mention how old you are. Is your husband in good health?

My apologies. I am 45 (My birthday is August 11) And yes, my husband is very healthy. He is a good Christian, so he doesn't get sick.

Are you fair of face? Kindly also describe the width of your hippal portions

Yes, I am fair of face. If you'd like to see me, just look at my profile picture. If you do not have like for my face, my husband does however. From hip to hip, I am 5 inches wide but I am on a diet and exersise, so I should be more thin soon. And thanks to my husband for teaching me how to properly measure!

While you have borne children, did you do so painfully?

Yes, very painfully! George Jr was so much, that George felt so sorry for me that he gave me half a chocolate chip as a reward! Annabeth and Sarah were also painful, but somewhat less because females are more weak.

I trust you will spend more time in the kitchen than the computer room.

Oh yes, George monitors my computer time. And also, please let me have excusing for my bad English. Everyone knows that women can't speak very well, I spent most time in silence baking.

[Anne Sayne]

Re: Greetings!

Originally posted by Pator Ezekiel:
What's George's favorite pie?

Oh, I know that pies are a part of every traditional family, but George prefers doughnuts much more than pie. His favorite kind are homemade (by me) jelly filled. However, his favorite pie is key lime.

Have you two considered leaving all your worldy wealth to Jesus when He calls you home?

But of course! Jesus said to give away all your posessions (Matthew 19:21) so who better to give it to than Jesus?
And thank you all for you're welcoming! Basilissa, Brother Larry, Pastor Ezekiel, Elmer G White, everybody!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Greetings!

Welcome, Anne. We are Christian here and friendly. I have been you the city in which you reside and I have spent considerable time there. It is populated primarily by Negroes, homosexuals, illegal aliens and other Democrats. Few Christians remain there and those that are there are under constant attack from the wicked. Most of the righteous have moved to suburbia outside the bus routes, the better to keep the Devil's people away. Are you a Texan, Anne, or one of the godless Yankees drawn to Houston by the functioning economy and the accursed air conditioning?

God Bless!

[Anne Sayne]

Re: Greetings!

We actually were from New York when we were methodist, but when George told me about Christianity, we moved to Texas. We decided to attend Lakewood Baptist Church because it is the second largest church (besides LBC) and decided that since so many people attended, it must be a very good church. I hope to be able to join yours someday! Do you think we should move? I will ask George if that's what you think is right.

[Anne Sayne]

Re: Greetings!

UPDATE: Earlier today, we welcomed our new baby boy into our home! I know I said it should be 3 more months, but you can never trust doctors. Keeping that in mind, I'll NEVER see a doctor again unless he is a True Christian™ Anyways, me and George are still working on the baby's name. I am thinking of naming him Ezekiel, the wonderful pastor because of it weren't for him I wouldn't be here! I'm also considering Larry because he has been so kind to me since I joined. I also may choose Alvin or Elmer, two other True Christians™. Any suggestions?

[handmaiden]

Re: Greetings!

UPDATE: Earlier today, we welcomed our new baby boy into our home! I know I said it should be 3 more months, but you can never trust doctors. Keeping that in mind, I'll NEVER see a doctor again unless he is a True Christian™ Anyways, me and George are still working on the baby's name. I am thinking of naming him Ezekiel, the wonderful pastor because of it weren't for him I wouldn't be here! I'm also considering Larry because he has been so kind to me since I joined. I also may choose Alvin or Elmer, two other True Christians™. Any suggestions?

So many "I's". You did say that you and your husband George welcomed the child together, didn't you? So why are you the one thinking of Ezekiel and considering Larry and possibly choosing Alvin or Elmer?


He's your husband's child, not yours, young lady. Stop using him in a painfully blatant attempt to curry favor with the esteemed gentlemen of Landover Baptist, who are too savvy to be swayed by your blandishments.


Non-panderingly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Anne Sayne]

Re: Greetings!

So many "I's". You did say that you and your husband George welcomed the child together, didn't you? So why are you the one thinking of Ezekiel and considering Larry and possibly choosing Alvin or Elmer?


He's your husband's child, not yours, young lady. Stop using him in a painfully blatant attempt to curry favor with the esteemed gentlemen of Landover Baptist, who are too savvy to be swayed by your blandishments.


Non-panderingly Yours,


Handmaiden

Apologies, Sister Handmaiden. When the word "I" was typed, it was meant to be "I" as in "we". "We" means multiple persons, and I happen to be one of them. I didn't mean to type this post in a self-centered egotistical way. There's a one person per account rule, so George and I can't type at the same time. Don't be worried, George agreed that all of these names are good possibilities. So far, he likes Ezekiel best.