Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

[Elmer G. White]

We have previously established with meticulous Creation Science methods that i) Adolf Hitler is alive and well and ii) he was the first man on the Moon and apparently resides there. In addition, we have presented a strong hypothesis that in addition to being an abhorrent non-Biblical genocide promoter, iii) Mr. Hitler could also have been a Nazi. Now it is time to continue our investigation and follow his footsteps to the actual den of the Deutsches Reich - India.

Mr. Hitler has established a successful franchise of sportswear and footwear in India called "Hitler Sports". Did he finally Repent® and become a decent entrepreneur? Less words, less Mein Kampf but more decent U.S. of A. -type clean, honest business?



It is written, as follows:

Ecclesiastes 5:3
For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words.

Verily, it is possible that Hitler has finally settled down from the Moon. The franchise has multiple outlets in some parts of India, spreading the relatively good news of American football to the country infested with hockey, cricket, vegetarianism, and polytheism.





Looks good, clean, suitable for aspiring True Christian™ boys and young youth. Ye Olde Shoppe is located in Nainital Road, Haldwani - 263139, Near Vishal Mega Mart.

Haldwani is a very nice town not unlike Hitler's beloved Alpine resorts.



It is exactly like in the Book of Jonah. A corrupted man comes to a nice town at the foothills of mountains and accepts the healing, soothing touch of Jesus! Is it True™. Is Mr. Hitler overcoming the unnatural but brilliant longevity treatments of the Nazis and the Chilling exile in Chile and on the Moon?

Jonah 2:6
I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption, O LORD my God.

Let us examine his case.

The Nazis - and, remember, Hitler could have been one of them - invented the Puma and Adidas running shoes. Does Hitler sell them? Yes he does. No problem there, they are decent shoes. This is an actual inside view of his store discovered by our Creation Science team after some careful image searches on the Interwebs.



What other brands of running shoes are thee? You guessed it.

Nike.

Nike is the company that most strongly opposes our beloved president the Donald. Nike is His principal enemy. It is time we looked at the image above in detail. Be ready to observe how Creation Science works: We do not take things for granted but examine everything unbiased and with skepticism.



Look at the logos. Hitler sells Nike shoes. He opposes America. He is still fighting his cause of trying to murder hundreds of millions of God-Fearing Americans.

US President Donald Trump has criticised sportswear company Nike following its decision to use Colin Kaepernick as the face of a new campaign.

Kaepernick was the first NFL player to kneel during the national anthem to highlight racial injustice.

"Nike is getting absolutely killed with anger and boycotts," Trump said.

We have already provided President Trump with a memo containing the results of our investigation. We're expecting to see nukes illuminate the skies of India (and the Moon) any moment now. Glory to God. A promising businessman, Mr. Hitler will probably flee as his intelligence is everywhere but at least the world will be a safer place.



I would also recommend that any of our Brethren on missions in India avoid the Vishal Mega Nart as it could soon be taken down by an Act of God.



Isaiah 34:2
For the indignation of the LORD is upon all nations, and his fury upon all their armies: he hath utterly destroyed them, he hath delivered them to the slaughter.

Nice verse. Not Nike. More beautiful words than Isaiah 34:2 have probably never been uttered.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Thank you, Brother Professor Dr White, Sir, for alerting us once more to the dangers of Nike. On looking very closely at your photo, though, are you absolutely 100% sure that those are not false Nike shoes? There is something just a little - er - wobbly about that logo, as though it had been drawn on by a child too young to have full control of his paintbrush.

I know that Nike does, obviously, use small children to make its shoes - I can confirm from personal experience that those tiny little hands are so much more agile than a fully-grown adult's for delicate work such as threading laces (and besides, it keeps them out of trouble). But you would expect their quality control to be better, and that the logo would be sharp and clear.

If indeed these are false Nikes, then I applaud Mr Hitler for his subversion of their brand copyright and will make a point of visiting his emporium in the (vanishingly unlikely) event that I am ever in Halwani, wherever it may be.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

...are you absolutely 100% sure that those are not false Nike shoes? ...
If indeed these are false Nikes, then I applaud Mr Hitler for his subversion of their brand copyright and will make a point of visiting his emporium in the (vanishingly unlikely) event that I am ever in Halwani, wherever it may be.

Verily, a valid question that will undoubtedly make Creation Science advance tremendously, if ever answered. How can we tell if Mr. Hitler has produced false merchandise? It seems impossible to tell, as Nike shoes have now been stained forever with anti-Trumpian demons. But, fortunately, Jesus is here to help us.

2 Corinthians 11:13
For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

This apparently means that if Mr. Hitler, over there in India or in his permanent residence on the Moon, tries to present himself as an apostle, it would mean that he sells fake Nike's which would be good and actually make him an apostle of Christ, which he could not necessarily be (Proverbs 19:9) because of the lying unless his deceit derives from Jesus (Ezekiel 14:9), which is a strong possibility to protect President Trumpfrom the Nike conspiracy. Such a complex issue! I am feeling a mission to Halwani on the way!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

It's no surprise that Adolph has taken up in the land of the dot-heads - he's always spoken highly of the Aryans.

The Aryan race is an idea that was formed in the 19th and early 20th century. The term "Aryan" comes from the Rig Veda and is the name of an ancient group of people in ancient Persia and India, who spoke an Indo-European language.

. . . .

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aryan_race

I'm pleased to learn that in his retirement from his former stressful work as Führer that he's finally found an outlet for his unappreciated skills as an artist that has been channeled into designing comfortable shoes.

Not featured in the photos in the original post are some suitable comfort footwear ideal for popping across the border to fetch some Polish takeout, doing an Anschluss marathon through Austria, attending those processions at Nuremberg rallies, or just visiting friends and relatives in the Sudetenland and Danzig.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Oh my goodness, those slippers look comfy, Brother! Would Mrs Jennings be prepared to share the knitting pattern with me?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Artistic expertise and proficiency in world leadership often go together. Was that M. Gandhi I saw on the T-shirt? Maybe India is reclaiming the swastika. Imitation is often appreciated but when Menthol 10's hit the scene with some muted green and aquamarine designs the challenge came not from Nike but from big tobacco. As this American icon is falling from popularity in the West, the Asians are taking it up with gusto, particularly Virginian style tobacco as opposed to dried clove leaves or that tarry goo from the Levant they put in hookahs. New strains in addition have increased the nicotine-to-tar ratio by about 1,000% which they call "low tar" so could it be a Hitler-Gandhi themed tobacco cartel business opportunity in the style of Menthol 10's after all?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Being a Darkie, he got the swastika the wrong way round:

PS - anyone know who the guy on the T-shirt is? He looks like he could do with a few juicy steaks.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Oh my goodness, those slippers look comfy, Brother! Would Mrs Jennings be prepared to share the knitting pattern with me?

Unfortunately Mrs. Jennings does not have the knitting pattern Sister. You would have to see if Adolph (I really don't know how he wishes to be addressed these days - in the past he used Schicklgruber, Teppichfresser, Gröfaz, and maybe a few others) would release or sell the pattern.

In the meantime these can be purchased from the store - a definite must have item that is no doubt expertly produced by Adolph's brown Aryan women working in his factories.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

PS - anyone know who the guy on the T-shirt is? He looks like he could do with a few juicy steaks.

Is it Stephen Hawking?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

The highlight of my collection:

[Dana723]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Being a Darkie, he got the swastika the wrong way round:

PS - anyone know who the guy on the T-shirt is? He looks like he could do with a few juicy steaks.

I believe he is a Hindoo actor named Ben Kingsley.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Adolf Hitler Opens a Shoe Store in India - The Whole Story

Indeed it's true that Hitler is living in India, this would explain why hindoos also have an ice cream named after him.



I fear however that he has not changed. He's very likely still plotting to kill again any non-nords. His main targets are obviusly the Jews. And although the Jews killed our Lord and Saviour we are to keep them alive as a punishment, since St. Augustine told us to do so.