[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

God bless you, Brother Cranky! If only I'd have your advice when I was younger I may have had sons instead of daughters. Of course I accept God's punishment for my many sins, but I can't help but wonder whether just a little more, and earlier, beating in utero might have produced sons.

Still, I rejoice that the young True Christian(tm) men here have your wisdom to guide them.

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

I'll spend an extra hour in my prayer closet tonight, Brother James, thinking about and praying for you and Sister Phebe in your Godly duties. I know that He'll reward your efforts!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Brother Cranky, I wouldn't say daughters are worthless, who else are our sons to marry?

That is a good point. I should have said daughters are almost worthless.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey Cranky Phebe and I just got back in to town. And I am working on # 3, it might take more than a few times.
I want to make sure my seed is firmly planted.

I am glad to see you are suffering for The Lord. But are you sure you are praying enough? Having sex one time should be enough to get a child. And don't forget what I mentioned about her cycle.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

I am glad to see you are suffering for The Lord. But are you sure you are praying enough? Having sex one time should be enough to get a child. And don't forget what I mentioned about her cycle.

Praying before and after, we are following a very strict cycle, 4 times a day until she is with child.

[self_abusing_sinner]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Daughters are worthless? You're the first person to officially enter my 'absolute piece of shit' list. Why did Jesus give kindly instructions to women? Why did he speak kindly to the Samaritan woman at the well and not slap her? Why did he give over the care of his mother to his beloved disciple on the cross, if he did not care for women? Why do we never ever hear of Jesus or any of the disciples beating a woman, in ALL of the New Testament? Why does Jesus SAVE an adulterous woman from stoning, when you encourage BEATING her to have a son? Why do you follow the Old Testament when the True Light is found in the New Testament, and Jesus obviously did away with and improved on the laws in the Old Testament, for instance, he promoted forgiveness and repentance instead of execution by stoning to the adulterous woman?

I think you are everything Jesus tried to put an end to, maybe not entirely, but a goodly portion along the way. The way others here hanker to your words tells me you have brainwashed them with your presence, and allowed that to overshadow the words of the New Testament.

What sort of Judgment will you have at the hands of Jesus? If you tremble now, it won't be good. But, I'm sure you don't.

Take care, be well,

sas

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Daughters are worthless? You're the first person to officially enter my 'absolute piece of shit' list. Why did Jesus give kindly instructions to women? Why did he speak kindly to the Samaritan woman at the well and not slap her? Why did he give over the care of his mother to his beloved disciple on the cross, if he did not care for women? Why do we never ever hear of Jesus or any of the disciples beating a woman, in ALL of the New Testament? Why does Jesus SAVE an adulterous woman from stoning, when you encourage BEATING her to have a son? Why do you follow the Old Testament when the True Light is found in the New Testament, and Jesus obviously did away with and improved on the laws in the Old Testament, for instance, he promoted forgiveness and repentance instead of execution by stoning to the adulterous woman?

I think you are everything Jesus tried to put an end to, maybe not entirely, but a goodly portion along the way. The way others here hanker to your words tells me you have brainwashed them with your presence, and allowed that to overshadow the words of the New Testament.

What sort of Judgment will you have at the hands of Jesus? If you tremble now, it won't be good. But, I'm sure you don't.

Take care, be well,

sas

Lets just cut through the carp that you posted and get to the real problem. You seem to be missing the big picture, the Bible has two parts the Old and New testament. We just love you fluffy bunny Christians, you think the Bible is like a giant cafeteria where you can pick and choose what you want to follow. Oh I will just have desert today, no meat and potatoes for me. Jesus did not come here to scrap His fathers work, He came to inforce it!

Behold the wors from Jesus.
Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
Matthew 5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.


Now go sit yourself down in a corner and repent!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Couple of points.

Should sex be fun?
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

I'll take that as a yes then God.

Subordination of women
Ponderance of thy Balls

For we shall praise thee in all our Might Oh Great Lord/Lordette that your sexless form shall provide inspiration and equality to Pastafarians across the land. For subordination of women and separation of roles is an abomination in your eye stalks.

[margenal]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey sounds like the pastafari has answers for anything.. cool

So, dear cranky old man... Your wise wise words made me realising how far i went wrong in my beliefs in my whole life....
Once upon a time a french boy thinking about a carefree lifestyle and he has putted his eyes on a sain't words.... and he saw the truth...

He will act as a true man, loving caring and protecting his (incase) wife and children without any use of violenec, without anything he saw in this arcticle...

Because dear wise man... let me say a true man, a righteous person will never use violence for his means. Violence and intolerance are the brand of the weaks. I never consider a man beating his wife as strong, so then if she is pregnant this is the most despicable proof of a low being; All these words show hatred, frustration towards a failed life and most of all, the total absence of nobleness and greatness and don't hide behind words and verses! Don't dare because even facing your so called damnation i wont even change a word and belief...

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Hey sounds like the pastafari has answers for anything.. cool

So, dear cranky old man... Your wise wise words made me realising how far i went wrong in my beliefs in my whole life....
Once upon a time a french boy thinking about a carefree lifestyle and he has putted his eyes on a sain't words.... and he saw the truth...

He will act as a true man, loving caring and protecting his (incase) wife and children without any use of violenec, without anything he saw in this arcticle...

Because dear wise man... let me say a true man, a righteous person will never use violence for his means. Violence and intolerance are the brand of the weaks. I never consider a man beating his wife as strong, so then if she is pregnant this is the most despicable proof of a low being; All these words show hatred, frustration towards a failed life and most of all, the total absence of nobleness and greatness and don't hide behind words and verses! Don't dare because even facing your so called damnation i wont even change a word and belief...

As John Wayne once said, when words quit working it's time to raise a hand.

[J1mM0rris0nRULEZ]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Before I rant: you people are wonderful and made my day! I laugh so hard at everyone of your twisted posts. Don't ever stop!!
First of all, I think you're a pedophile. Like for real. You are one creepy mother piffleer! And second you don't beat a pregnant woman with a stick, Maybe your mom did and that's why you came out so wacked. And third (even though there is so much to complain about) there is nothing wrong with a girl child being your first child. (Ill be back after I finish reading this article)

Oh god finally someone who has some common sense on here!!! Hahaha I was thinking exactly what you wrote word for word! I also think this guys a pedophile! Hahahahahahaha these people crack me up

[Lisa H]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Oh god finally someone who has some common sense on here!!! Hahaha I was thinking exactly what you wrote word for word! I also think this guys a pedophile! Hahahahahahaha these people crack me up

Your an expert in pedophile's. Is this because you are one.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

@Cranky Old Man You are so nice for sharing your wisdom with everyone! I wonder what nice husband my father is going to select for me when I turn 18.

Felicity, the age of consent in many states, including Iowa, is 16.

Why wait?

And also don't leave town while your wife is giving birth! It hurts a lot so I hear and Im sure shed want someone to be there with her even if they are some creepy religiously confused freak.

Next you'll be saying it's not a good idea to hire a nanny, either.

Oh god finally someone who has some common sense on here!!! Hahaha I was thinking exactly what you wrote word for word! I also think this guys a pedophile! Hahahahahahaha these people crack me up

Do you even know what pedophile means?

[Brother Daniel]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

I really want to thank you for this guide.

Now I can finaly try to make a child. I thought that just praying and hitting my wife was enough.

[Annie1]

Re: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

Thank you for making this guide. I thought that babies were delivered by angels but it seems I was told wrong....