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  • House for Sale

    I’ve been appointed executor in the estate of a Christian gentleman and his family, who are now all at rest. The main asset is the house that was home to Gerald Dahler, his wife, Clarissa, and their four daughters.

    I am looking for offers in the region of $140,000 to include 5 acres on land to the west.

    The history of the house:

    The house was built in the late 1930s on a lot that had been left vacant since some redskins were evicted back in the day. The first owner was Jake Doorman, an early stalwart of the church. He was removed to the Landover Hospital for the Spiritually Confused following the incident that became know as “The Many Embalmings” (See Ge:50:2 and Ge:50:3: although it must be admitted that the other 25 bodies were not his father)

    and the house remained unoccupied until 1969.

    The house was thoroughly modernized and extended and became the property of Mr Larry Beatty, his mother, his wife and two young children. It seems that his mother defended herself against midgets burglars. (Ex:22:2: If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him.)The children are buried within the grounds of Landover Church and Brother Larry was cared for until he escaped and was called by Jesus following an accident with a gun on the Old Bridge.

    The Late Owners:

    Brother Gerald bought the house in 2009. His faith grew from the very moment he entered that house. A Bible believing man, he was a fervent Christian and a model husband and father. He became a pioneer of living free of government and rejected entirely secular laws in accordance with

    1st Timothy 1:9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,
    1st Timothy 1:10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind , for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;
    .

    And

    Acts 5:29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

    1Co:6:12: All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

    (I particularly remember that last verse and he had his wife embroider it – it took her 4 months and a broken jaw before he was satisfied.)

    His campaign to establish, on his own property, the theocracy that American so much needs started almost immediately he and his family moved into the house. His steadfast faith led him into disputes with utility companies, the local authorities and some of the gun laws.

    The Pastors supported him through all this and often encouraged and publicized his Godly actions, holding them up as examples of the one true faith.

    In the latter days of his life, it is clear that he was beset by his enemies, he was persecuted for his religion, on all sides great powers assailed him. He was unemployed, he had no money, and, he acted in accordance with Scripture. At his trial, he told of how God had commanded him and quoted Jeremiah 19:9 I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and daughters, and they will eat one another's flesh during the stress of the siege imposed on them by the enemies who seek their lives.

    There being no electricity, and thus no freezer, in the house, ate them alive but, as Brother Gerald pointed out, the relevant verses contain no command to kill anyone.

    Anyway, to the house itself, which is a bargain:


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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: House for Sale

    More Photos:

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    Attached Files
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: House for Sale

      Even more photos:

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      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: House for Sale

        That looks ideal, Brother Bathwater. Do you know if they plan to clean up the dog poo in photo #3? If so, I could be interested.
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        Comment


        • #5
          Re: House for Sale

          Does the child cook?
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: House for Sale

            That price seems a bargain indeed, Brother. Where is the structure located?
            God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: House for Sale

              Not a deal breaker but something needs to be done about the body bag along with that dog poop that Jim pointed out.
              "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

              "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: House for Sale

                I'm wondering why you haven't listed the property with our local real estate lady.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: House for Sale

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  I'm wondering why you haven't listed the property with our local real estate lady.
                  Be careful dealing with that woman. She still has MY HOME listed on Apostles Park Court and I've lived here for quite some time. I have phoned Marla several times because people keep driving by thinking it is on the market.
                  1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                  Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                  Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                  Locations in 50 States and Canada
                  !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                  Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                  Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: House for Sale

                    Brother Bathfire:

                    If only you could find still more photos, I might be interested in this as an investment property and could remit cash upon an agreement to purchase. I hear there was a pool that had a distinct issue with what looked like red algae? Can you elaborate?

                    And what of the rumored "bad feeling" that previous purchasers had when considering its purchase?
                    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                    Locations in 50 States and Canada
                    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: House for Sale

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      I'm wondering why you haven't listed the property with our local real estate lady.
                      I did try, but was told "Regrettably, Marla Jennings Christian Realty Services has no expertise in that specialized area of "dwelling place"." and advised to "try my luck with the tin tithers."

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                      Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                      Brother Bathfire:

                      If only you could find still more photos, I might be interested in this as an investment property and could remit cash upon an agreement to purchase. I hear there was a pool that had a distinct issue with what looked like red algae? Can you elaborate?
                      It's green - perfectly natural.

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                      And what of the rumored "bad feeling" that previous purchasers had when considering its purchase?
                      The 'rumor' that I refused to go in the house when I showed it to them all those years ago, was just that! A rumor! I stayed outside so as not to influence their decision!


                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: House for Sale

                        The house was scheduled for renovation by the previous owners. They hired a firm over the phone based on an advertisement in the Handyman Section of the Des Moines Register.

                        A crew showed up on time. The workers had bib overalls, heavy boots and, hammers and crow bars hanging from their belts. Our True Christian™ friends correctly identified them as lesbians. They were dismissed immediately.

                        There was reluctance from then on to hire anyone. Thus, needed repairs remain unfinished.
                        Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: House for Sale

                          OK, I'll take it. Consider it sold.
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                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: House for Sale

                            According to the Des Moines Department of Health, this house is listed as "Condemned."

                            When I questioned why, the lady told me, "This house was known as a place where drug trade, prostitution, and several homicides took place. The land on which it sits has high levels of toxic chemicals, rendering it practically useless and an extreme health hazard."

                            Mr. Farmer, best wishes for renovating and cleaning it up. Mr. Bathfire, I sense some omissions here that a potential buyer should know and frankly I am surprised.
                            1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                            Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                            Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                            Locations in 50 States and Canada
                            !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                            Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                            Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: House for Sale

                              Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                              According to the Des Moines Department of Health, this house is listed as "Condemned."
                              I have spoken to Brother James of the housing department: it has been relisted as "With Character"
                              When I questioned why, the lady told me, "This house was known as a place where drug trade, prostitution, and several homicides took place.
                              There is no evidence of the drug trade and prostitution.
                              The land on which it sits has high levels of toxic chemicals, rendering it practically useless and an extreme health hazard."
                              This is simply untrue. No one who has lived at the house has ever reported any toxic effects. As I said already said, the land was injun territory and they don't have chemicals.
                              Mr. Farmer, best wishes for renovating and cleaning it up.
                              It will be the work of a moment for a fit guy like Jim.
                              Mr. Bathfire, I sense some omissions here that a potential buyer should know and frankly I am surprised.
                              Your surprise is unfounded as are your wild imaginings.
                              sigpic


                              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                              Author of such illuminating essays as,
                              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                              Comment

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