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  • #1

    Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

    Dashboard Jesus Kills Iowa Teen
    by Elroy Willis

    FREEHOLD, IOWA (EAP) - A Freehold teenager was killed yesterday when her plastic Jesus dashboard figure was driven into her chest by her car's airbag which inflated during an accident involving two other vehicles.

    17-year-old Darlene Fulps of Freehold was apparently holding her Jesus figure close to her chest when she ran through a red light and collided with two other vehicles in a busy intersection.

    "The air bag inflated and pushed the head of Jesus straight through her heart," said Tom Young, medical examiner at the scene of the accident. "If it wasn't for the plastic Jesus, Ms. Fulps would still be alive today."

    "Air bags have saved thousands of lives, but in this case it actually took a life, thanks to Jesus," said police officer Graham Pryor, first officer at the scene.

    Robert Fulps, Darlene's father and devout Christian man said "It was just our daughter's time to go, and we can't question the actions of God. My daughter loved Jesus and worshipped Him, and I think she's probably talking to Him in heaven right now."

    "We gave our daughter the dashboard Jesus for her birthday last year, and she really liked it," said Mrs. Gladys Fulps. "It's too bad that Jesus ended up killing her, but we believe she's in heaven now, and we're happy for her, and hope to re-unite with her when we get to heaven."

    "We're just glad our daughter had Jesus in her heart when she died," said Mr. and Mrs. Fulps.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

    Shout GLORY!!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

      The newspapers are filled with stories about maid-raping communists, and the evening news is clogged with all the gory details of how the Kennedys are trying to screw over a great American like Gov. Schwarzenegger, but occasionally you come across a story that warms your heart, and this is one of those times.

      Thank you, Pastor Ezekiel, for "keeping it real."

      (Psalms 31:19) "Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!"



      YiC,

      Z. Smyth
      sigpic

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

        That girl was so lucky to have Jesus deep inside her. I hope God comes inside me too!
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

          I go to a lot of funerals. It's kind a "day at the office" for political people.

          But, this was a tough one. A lot of tears. But, a lot of joy also. When a young person is taken, it's nice to see the direct connection to Jesus.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

            Very commendable

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

              What happened to the people that she hit? Were any dispatched straight to hell? It just shows that there is no time like the present to accept Jesus as your saviour. Tomorrow is too late for them now.

              YiC

              Jack
              Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

              sigpic

              I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

                What a nice story for a change! Finally something pleasant to read about in the newspaper
                "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

                  This story made me cringe with joy!
                  "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

                    Well, I hope she didn't have insurance -- since insurance is a form of gambling.
                    Genesis 1:24
                    And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Local Girl Dies with Jesus in her Heart

                      And people try to deny miracles!

                      There can be no greater evidence of God's love that this girl's piety has brought her to a state ready to go to Heaven at such a tender age. I'm confident she is unsullied and virginal as well, which has to be a bonus.
                      sigpic
                      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                      The truth about volcanos
                      Sex and debauchery in public schools
                      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

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