Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

[Witch Hammer]

The shrew had the cheek to ask me today, "how come you never hug me anymore, sir?". I looked her dead in the eye and said, "what do I look like, some sort of fag?".

Hugs, flowers and empty promises died when our courtship ended, like rats on a doomed ship. Once I paid her father his asking price (that rheumy eyed old price-gouger!), and I had the marriage contract locked up safely in the vault, it was down to brass tacks.

In my heart, though, I feel that any given moment that I'm not laying into her with the knout is a tender moment. It is the same as my saying, "you're doing a fantastic job, honey! I love you!".

Why can't the stupid woman get that through her thick skull? I guess I'll have to put a finer point on it the next time I'm forced to correct her.

[Des]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

Positive reinforcement is wasted on women. They have roughly the same mental processing capability as atheists, lieberals, and herd animals. A cattle prod is pretty much the only way to teach any of them anything.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

I am proud to say me and my wife never hugged, ever. I was saved the horror of courtship because our fathers, on advice of our Pastor, decided we had to get married.

The only horror I wasn't spared was the kiss right after we became married. It was the only time we ever kissed. I still feel the shame and I will never forget the horrified look in the eyes of my parents and my Pastor when it happened. No one warned me in advance this could happen otherwise I would have forced my to-be wife to wear a muzzle.

A necessary marriage preparation:

[Red Attila]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

The shrew had the cheek to ask me today, "how come you never hug me anymore, sir?". I looked her dead in the eye and said, "what do I look like, some sort of fag?".

Hugs, flowers and empty promises died when our courtship ended, like rats on a doomed ship. Once I paid her father his asking price (that rheumy eyed old price-gouger!), and I had the marriage contract locked up safely in the vault, it was down to brass tacks.

In my heart, though, I feel that any given moment that I'm not laying into her with the knout is a tender moment. It is the same as my saying, "you're doing a fantastic job, honey! I love you!".

Why can't the stupid woman get that through her thick skull? I guess I'll have to put a finer point on it the next time I'm forced to correct her.

Excellent observation! And a truly excellent practice! I'm learning so much here on the LBC forums about how to deal with human relationships in the right Christian manner and spirit.

I haven't beaten or whipped my wife in months, in fact, damn near years, so she can't complain that I'm not showing her any affection. Following Witch Hammer's excellent example, any moment I'm not beating the living hell out of her (I favored using a quirt for conjugal whippings) is more than ample expression of my commitment to my connubial contractual obligation. She has no right to expect more, damn her!

[A Follower]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

I am certain I didn't agree to any hugging in my wedding vows. There was love and cherish, we vowed to stay together in sickness and health, but hugging? No way. If she wanted that she should've been upfront and honest about that, and not come nagging now, years into the marriage.

[Des]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

(I favored using a quirt for conjugal whippings)

The quirt is my reliable standby as well. I do admit though that I've incorporated a bit of modern technology into my household discipline. The wife and staff are fitted with chastity belts upgraded with shock training collars. Now a painless warning buzz can let them know when I require their services, and a more noticeable jolt to inform them they are stepping out of line. The only problem is remembering which remote goes to which person.

[Adam Fag]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

Would this type be OK? I have some at home (not all quite the same, though).

[Red Attila]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

The quirt is my reliable standby as well. I do admit though that I've incorporated a bit of modern technology into my household discipline. The wife and staff are fitted with chastity belts upgraded with shock training collars. Now a painless warning buzz can let them know when I require their services, and a more noticeable jolt to inform them they are stepping out of line. The only problem is remembering which remote goes to which person.

That is high-tech. But keeping the quirt as standby is very wise. You never know when and where technology will fail or malfunction.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Not punching your wife in the face: The same as giving her a hug or pat on the back

Would this type be OK? I have some at home (not all quite the same, though).

If your wife has only one eye, I feel this should be grounds for divorce as the "less than whole" cannot enter the congregation (Le:21:18).

I am not sure why the woman is wearing a hat: hair is a woman's glory. (1Cor:11:15)

The whole outfit is gaudy and speaks of whoredoms (1Tm:2:9)