Shocking News

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I must say that this came as a great surprise to me.

I knew things were bad when I saw Pastor Zeke earlier this morning whilst out walking my Nigrahounds - he was pale and listless and dull-eyed as if beset by the black demons of despair. I gave him a hand getting a rope tied to the side of the Old Bridge (scene of so many tragedies) and asked if there was anything I could do to help. He muttered something incomprehensible and his eyes well with tears the way they do when he reads Revelations.

Anyway, I gave a hand tying the rope to a support and left him to whatever he was doing and returned home to be greeted by Boy, my faithful retainer, who remarked that Nephew Zebulun had been round and left the above newspaper in my office with the hint that I might want to read it.

I said that I doubted I would as I rarely read newspapers and relied on Fox News as an unbiased source of information.

Nevertheless, I did go straight to my office and picked it up.

Grave news indeed. Truly shocking and outrageous! What times! What is the world coming to? Mind you, Pastor Zeke did warn of a new and more dangerous cult "More Dangerous Than Scientology" on the rise in Hollywood - as publicized in the top left of the publication, so it was no surprise that the Lord is testing him with even more of his great work in saving starlets in Hellywood.

Thinking that I could be of assistance to him in some of his work, I took the Enquirer and left again for the Old Bridge. There was no Pastor Zeke and no rope, So I went off to his house.

I found him on a ladder in his garage loosening the main electricity supply cables. Strangely he was dipping wet. (There must have been some heavy rain between the Old Bridge and the house.) I showed him the front page and the news of the Hellywood cult and he let out an awful mournful cry - a sure sign that this was the cause of his strange mood. I suspect I had interrupted him at the wrong moment and he had stabbed himself in the hand with the screwdriver or something like that. I sensed that he was busy, as he seemed to ignore my presence and work all the more feverishly. I left, and as I did so, I noticed that the master switch for the electricity was still on - I quietly turned it off and was on my way. We don't want any accidents, do we?

Anyway, it is time to rally round and come up with a plan, where we can all pull together and help Zeke fight this growing Californication Cult.

There will be a meeting at the church at 7pm Tuesday.

PS, I have just received a call from Daisy-Mae - Zeke is at home recovering, he fell of the ladder and twisted his ankle. So a plan is all the more important as he cannot be feeling too cheerful.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Shocking News

Dear Brother and Pastor Bathfire,

I must say that I am NOT surprised. You - as the pastor for tolerance - must in your pure innocence have been oblivious to all the sinister developments lately. While this California Cult certainly IS involved with this travesty, I am sorry to say that it is NOT alone. In fact, it is only a minor dealer in a conspiracy that has been brewing for approximately 5930 years, ever since (and during) the Fall from Grace (Genesis 3:6).
Satan.

The most powerful sinner in the World is also participating. (S)he (Deuteronomy 22:5) is targeting anyone who is involved with the Truth™, with Jesus(tm,), things that are precious and Pure, i.e., The Donald. Pastor Ezekiel is PIVOTAL for The Donald's Ultimate Victory which would be THE Victory for Jesus also.

The Papist Chief, Frances!



How do we know it is a lie? Because we are unbiased and do not trust anything written on a tabloid. We trust the Bible®. If a piece of news is compatible with the Bible®, the King James Version, it can be True™, if not, we know the source of that slandering, gossip, disinformation!

John 8:44
Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

"He speaketh of his own" - i.e. - not of the Bible. Not of the Truth™. Hence, all this is a lie by whom? Satan and the likely Anti-Christ candidate, the Papist Chief! Add California, a known location for excessive fornication, and what do you get? Let us have a Biblical Prophet tell that to us!

Nahum 3:1
Woe to the bloody city! it is all full of lies and robbery; the prey departeth not;

A bloody city, indeed. Los Angeles? Why the papist form of the word "angel" in a country that is supposed to know the American tongue? Why? Because of Satan. He is in disguise. Jesus is the True™ Light of Men (John 1:4), But Satan is devious and he can infiltrate the dual wave-particle duality that is visible light and part of the Trinity to which God and the Holy Spirit also belong, and present Himself as a Creature of Light similar to Jesus for the untrained eye!

2 Corinthians 11:14
And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

Only an unbiased True Christian™ can discern that this is false and implausible but the Chief Papist has most of the people fooled.



THIS is what Pastor Zeke is dealing with and he needs our support and - even more - he needs our money to launch an unprecedented campaign to present our adversaries in a less positive light. That is why I am sending the 79.50 $ I received from my recent proof-reading assignment for the Journal of Creation to Pastor Ezekiel. I urge all our Brethren to do the same. Satan is working all the time and here you can see a disgusting example of a Swiss composer composing a symphonic composition in the Honor of Satan, the "Angel of Light".

I know that my generous contribution will be paid back to me in Heaven:

Luke 6:38
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Levi Jones]

Re: Shocking News

Have we considered that the Satanic arts may be involved? There could be at this very moment be someone close to the Pastor gathering bits of his hair and forming them into dolls.

I think we should be discussing which (or witch) woman is causing this possible demonic manifestation.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Shocking News

The dreadful news of this most recent atrocity leads me to call again for the complete and immediate destruction of California and the entire West Coast through the use of atomic bombs. There are too many people there to use normal methods. Had the city of San Francisco been leveled thirty years ago, as I suggested at the time, the infection could have been stopped before it became so widespread and dangerous. At the time it was suggested that cooler heads had prevailed, as if it was me who had a problem, not California. Even as recently as 15 years ago, the problems could have been solved with targeted napalm strikes limited to specific areas of California. Now, it is too late and time for me to say, "I told you so".


I believe that the attacks (and it will take several large bombs) should be carried out simultaneously and at a time when the winds are blowing offshore, to avoid the spread of fallout on the rest of America. There will likely be survivors, as the Devil's people can be quite resilient. We must be prepared to send ground forces in to finish the massacre. The notion of curing everything from the air is attractive, but no such issue has ever been settled without "boots on the ground" as the popular saying goes.


That us my opinion.

[Des]

Re: Shocking News

I believe that the attacks (and it will take several large bombs) should be carried out simultaneously and at a time when the winds are blowing offshore, to avoid the spread of fallout on the rest of America. There will likely be survivors, as the Devil's people can be quite resilient. We must be prepared to send ground forces in to finish the massacre. The notion of curing everything from the air is attractive, but no such issue has ever been settled without "boots on the ground" as the popular saying goes.


That us my opinion.

Now now, Brother. We use the word 'cleansing' or 'purification' ever since that unfortunate ruling by a LIEberal judge. Did you not get the memo?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Shocking News

Yes, you are correct and I stand properly rebuked. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking. There will be no massacre, of course, but they must be well cleansed and sent to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, there to abide with the fishes, awaiting an orderly transport to Hell.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Shocking News

I have no doubt everything negative ever published about Pastor Ezekiel is all lies.

Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Shocking News

I’m writing this from the Nathan Forrest Memorial hospital.

I went round to Pastor Zeke’s house this morning to see if he wanted anything discussed at the meeting about the Hollywood Satanic Worshipers business.

I rang the bell a few times, but as there was no reply, I went round to the rear of the property. It would have been quicker to drive, but the exercise did me good. One of the rear doors was open and as I know that Pastor Zeke often goes in through the rear door, I felt it was OK to do the same.

I tried to find the way to where Zeke might be, and I was not having much luck in such a large place until I became aware of a smell of home-use gas. I followed that and found the kitchen. The place was full of the stuff and there was Zeke with his head in the stove.

“Hey!” I called, “Zeke! What are you doing? Cleaning stoves is no job for a man! There’re servants for that sort of thing. It’s the sort of job they know how to do. And more than that, you forgot to switch off the gas!” and I turned it off.

I was walking to the window to let in some fresh air, when I looked round to see Zeke sitting at the table looking down the barrel of a .45 checking if it needed cleaning. His hands were shaking and tears were running down his cheeks.

I returned to him saying, “Hey Zeke! I see you’ve got the Spring Cleaning bug. But you don’t want to be trying to do everything at once. This is no time to be bothered about such things – what you need is a drink before we discuss this Enquirer business.”

Now I’m not too sure what happened next but I seem to remember reaching for the gun to have a look down the barrel myself – I had almost taken it from Zeke when it must have gone off.

The police, who came round to see me here in the hospital, say that when the gun fired, the gas exploded. The next thing I knew I was on the back lawn and Zeke was about 10 yards away screaming with burns – I was not particularly hurt – more shocked.

Apparently, the house has burned down and all possessions have been lost, but the main thing is that we are both alive.

Tonight’s meeting is postponed. When I can get out of bed, I’ll go and visit Zeke, who is presently in the ICU.



In the meantime, I have sent this picture of his house with the note: "The important thing is that you are alive. What do possessions matter at a time like this?"

YIC
E Bathfire."

[Des]

Re: Shocking News

Pastor Zeke is certainly in my prayers. I'm not sure what the secular doctors can do for him, but I've screened him thoroughly with my patented Theo-Psychological exams and can say with absolute confidence that he has a clean psycho-spiritual bill of health. His thought process matches scriptural mentality to the twelfth decimal point.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Shocking News

Pastor Zeke is certainly in my prayers. I'm not sure what the secular doctors can do for him,

QFT! Which is precisely why I have just been along to his room. The doctor was examining him when I arrived. Once he had left, we prayed together. I think he joined in but for some reason he seems to have been struck by demons of inarticulate speech. As I removed all the i/v lines for the poisons, especially the morphine, that were pumping into him, I took this photo of him:

The look of gratitude is unmistakable. The joy of the Gift of Life is certainly strong within his soul.

but I've screened him thoroughly with my patented Theo-Psychological exams and can say with absolute confidence that he has a clean psycho-spiritual bill of health. His thought process matches scriptural mentality to the twelfth decimal point.

This is most reassuring. An utter trust in the Lord and his True Servants is all that is ever required.

Edit to add:
I have been told that I am OK to go home. This is just as well as there are several reporters who want to be informed about Zeke's condition and what seems to be the Hollywood Satanic scandal - although they seem to be confused as they think that Zeke's condition is divine punishment for something.

This is very ungodly, Jesus does not "punish" people, He guides them by testing them and their faith - an area in which Zeke has never had any problems - and Jesus never gives us more than we can bear.

[Des]

Re: Shocking News

I peeked in on him after breakfast. Couldn't tell from all the gauze, but it almost looked as though his ears were burned off. God must truly be looking out for him if He was kind enough to remove Pastor Zeke's ears, thus sparing him from hearing all the viscous lies being spread.