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Old 09-21-2006, 09:22 PM
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Default How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

A good Wife KNOWS her place!

And remember, a good spanking or slap upside of the head maybe required to keep her in line.



Ladies, please post your ideas and comments on what makes YOU a good True Christian™ Wife.

Helpful, Sister Thumper
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  #2  
Old 09-21-2006, 10:22 PM
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MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
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I agree BTB. If there's something this tree-hugger can do well is please her man. I love to spoil my man (if I had one ) and serve him on hand and foot. There's nothing more pleasing than seeing your man happy.

Moon
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:21 AM
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Brother_Mike Brother_Mike is offline
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I agree BTB. If there's something this tree-hugger can do well is please her man. I love to spoil my man (if I had one ) and serve him on hand and foot. There's nothing more pleasing than seeing your man happy.

Moon
You have the right attitude. Now all you need to do is shave your legs and armpits and start tithing to Landover.
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:36 AM
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MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
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Like I've said a million and one times before...I SHAVE ALL MY BODY HAIR (except for my head) TO PREVENT FLEAS. And, just in case you haven'ty heard...I TITHE TO LANDOVER EVERY SUNDAY (if not Pa'daddy will come to my Sycamore and beat me silly).

So, now that I tithe AND shave, what's my next move Mikey? I'm already going to start my Bible Studies™ ® and Healings™ ® with Lar baby.

Moon
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:41 AM
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Like I've said a million and one times before...I SHAVE ALL MY BODY HAIR (except for my head) TO PREVENT FLEAS. And, just in case you haven'ty heard...I TITHE TO LANDOVER EVERY SUNDAY (if not Pa'daddy will come to my Sycamore and beat me silly).

So, now that I tithe AND shave, what's my next move Mikey? I'm already going to start my Bible Studies™ ® and Healings™ ® with Lar baby.

Moon
Get a proper job and tithe more. It creeps me out knowing that you live in the woods like a jungle monkey.
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:49 AM
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MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
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Sorry Mikey. The last thing I wanna do is creep anyone out. I'm trying to see if anyone needs someone that's going to mainatin the house for them. I'm hoping Lar baby or BJ will hire me...they'd be really good bosses and they're very patient with me.

I'll get a job Mikey, but then what??

Moon
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:53 AM
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Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
Sorry Mikey. The last thing I wanna do is creep anyone out. I'm trying to see if anyone needs someone that's going to mainatin the house for them. I'm hoping Lar baby or BJ will hire me...they'd be really good bosses and they're very patient with me.

I'll get a job Mikey, but then what??

Moon
REPENT™ from your wiccan ways and accept JESUS into your life and become a True Christian™. Then find ways to tithe more to Landover Baptist.
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:54 AM
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Despite all the patience you have obviously been shown, Moon..
You still spit in the face of Jesus?!

You're lucky I don't live in Freehold (as of yet) or I would have dragged you by-the-hair back to good Pastor Al!

Lets hope Brother Mike will set you straight.
For your own sake! Because hell is no fun.
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A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
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  #9  
Old 09-22-2006, 01:01 AM
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MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
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REPENT™ from your wiccan ways and accept JESUS into your life and become a True Christian™. Then find ways to tithe more to Landover Baptist.

The only way I'll convert to Christianity...again...is if I marry a Christian. And since that's probably NOT going to happen, then neither is me converting.

It's a shame too cuz I'd make a great wife! I love to cook and clean and I REALLY want babies! And I'd NEVER turn down hanky panky (for the purpose of making children, of course).

*sigh* At least I have my 13 cats to keep me company.

Moon
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Last edited by MoonFlower; 09-22-2006 at 01:19 AM.
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Old 09-22-2006, 01:08 AM
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That's the silliest thing I ever heard! Christianity is not something you can put on and take off like clothes to please a man! Christianity is accepting CHRIST, heart and soul and tithing to Landover. Then, when you get married, your husband and his family can tithe as well!
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