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Old 01-11-2009, 01:44 AM
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Default SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Taste the rainbow, indeed! The homosexual agenda has taken many shapes and sizes, but we have been onto it at every turn of it's quest to recruit our children to the queer lifestyle!

This evening while I was expressing a high degree of intense revulsion at my own nakedness in the shower, the Holy Spirit came upon me and told me to write to all of you about the dangers of these nefarious little candies!

ATTENTION: WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND THOSE WITH WEAK SPIRITUAL CONSTITUTIONS SHOULD NOT CONTINUE!



Right off the bat we can see that these sodomite sweets are attractively decorated with the bright colors of the rainbow, which was long ago adopted as the homo calling card.

The term "Original Fruit" is splattered across the top of the packaging, which is homosexual code language for "virgin testicles." There was a 200% increase in Skittles sales when they started using that slogan. At the same time, incidents of homosexuals abducting and raping young Christian boys skyrocketed. Coincidence? I doubt it.



When we view Skittles closeup, it is obvious that they have been modeled after a) the male buttocks, or b) testicles.

Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
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Last edited by Bob4God; 01-24-2010 at 05:05 AM. Reason: Fixed a picture
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Old 01-11-2009, 06:48 AM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
I was going to comment on this vile abomination..but fainted after reading it. You can better believe that NOOOOO Skittles will ever be purchased again at the Johnson Residence!

I can't click back on this thread (for fear that I will faint again) but will ALERT a GODLY Pastor.


In JESUS'S name Amen!
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Old 01-11-2009, 07:59 AM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
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Old 01-11-2009, 08:13 AM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
My GOD, brother! This post caught me right after dinner and I threw up reading it. In fact, I had heart palpitations and had to take a nitro tablet and drink a snifter of pre-French cognac.

It was a a waste of perfectly good fricasseed spotted-owl and sea-turtle soup. This is a wonderful example of the maniacal homer agenda, but PLEASE make your warning a bit clearer or post in red letters. Is there no limit to what qweers and goths will do to ruin our youth?

Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:00 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
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Old 01-11-2009, 01:02 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!
After research at the Biblical Science Laboratory at Landover Christian University, we have narrowed this down to Canuba wax.
However, before I present our findings, let me remind you that, on average, there are 42 Skittles in a pack! And what is 42? According to the despicable atheist author of “The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy,” it is “the answer to the world, the universe and everything”! Yes, dear reader, we know that God is the answer to the world, the universe and everything yet Skittles claim they are! They are “of The Devil”!

42? Coincidence? I think not!

And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
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  • 1Th:2:4: But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts
  • Jas:1:21: Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
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Old 01-11-2009, 03:02 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
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Old 01-11-2009, 03:23 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
I think you have it right there Brother B4G! Your moderate reply does you credit.
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From KJV 1611: The sacred book of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

  • 1Th:2:4: But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts
  • Jas:1:21: Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
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Old 01-11-2009, 04:31 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
You can say that again!
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Old 01-11-2009, 04:57 PM
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Lord of Hosts, Bathfire! It is only 8am here and the thought of Haysus rubbing carnuba wax on my new limo made me toss my soft-boiled eggs and toast.
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