The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-03-2009, 12:36 AM
Brother_Dustin's Avatar
Brother_Dustin Brother_Dustin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mostly at nearest lake, fishing
Posts: 8
Brother_Dustin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Question Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Hello friends,

I noticed that you have a lot of threads about women and how they should act and be treated.
I discovered a situation that I have not yet found the answer to. You see, just the other day I walked in on my wife in the shower (I don't allow her to lock any doors in the house, unless I say otherwise) and I was led to believe that she was pleasuring herself. We have a retractable shower head, and when I walked in, it was near her devil's layer and she seemed unusually embarrassed.

Though I did punish her, I don't know what else to do beyond these lines.
I need advice on what the right thing to do would be.

Your Brother in Faith,
Dustin
__________________
Job. 19:29

"Be ye afraid of the sword: for wrath bringeth the punishments of the sword, that ye may know there is a judgment."

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 05-03-2011 at 03:53 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-03-2009, 12:45 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,672
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Dustin View Post
Hello friends,

I noticed that you have a lot of threads about women and how they should act and be treated.
I discovered a situation that I have not yet found the answer to. You see, just the other day I walked in on my wife in the shower (I don't allow her to lock any doors in the house, unless I say otherwise) and I was led to believe that she was pleasuring herself. We have a retractable shower head, and when I walked in, it was near her devil's layer and she seemed unusually embarrassed.

Though I did punish her, I don't know what else to do beyond these lines.
I need advice on what the right thing to do would be.

Your Brother in Faith,
Dustin
Daily paddlings, an hour in her Prayer closet each morning, and no more showers! Take out that demonic contraption and restrict her to baths from now on.

I'm not sure why a Christian Man would need advice on how to discipline his own wife.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-03-2009, 01:05 AM
Brother_Dustin's Avatar
Brother_Dustin Brother_Dustin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mostly at nearest lake, fishing
Posts: 8
Brother_Dustin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Thank You Pastor.

Well, I have been paddling her daily since the incident and I have made her spend an hour and a half at the foot of her bed every morning and night. I also don't let her shower or bathe without me supervising her.
Due to the fact that she is pregnant with my fourth son, I've been going a little lighter on the beatings. Because of that I feel that she isn't being punished enough, what else could I do? I will not let her leave the house, except for grocery shopping, in which case I make my oldest son go with her, until I feel that the LORD has forgiven her. But how can I test her, to know that she has truly relieved from her sins?

Your Brother in Faith,
Dustin
__________________
Job. 19:29

"Be ye afraid of the sword: for wrath bringeth the punishments of the sword, that ye may know there is a judgment."
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-03-2009, 02:06 AM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,411
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Call a plumber and have a fixed shower head installed. Or, just duct tape the one you have to the bracket that holds it.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-03-2009, 02:19 AM
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 5,211
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Dustin View Post
Due to the fact that she is pregnant with my fourth son, I've been going a little lighter on the beatings.
Nonsense brother, beat the hellfire out of her! In the old days a REAL man never hesitated to throw his wife a good beating, regardless of whether she was pregnant or not. Back then they didn't buy into all this liberal sissy sensitivity and tolerance foolishness. Pound her HARD.

My father used to slug momma in the gut when she was pregnant with me, and it taught her AND me a lesson! I turned out fine, so will your son!

EDIT: Brother Nobar has some good advice, but make sure she doesn't take a step-ladder into the shower with her to enable her to reach the mounted shower head.
__________________

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-03-2009, 02:20 AM
Brother_Dustin's Avatar
Brother_Dustin Brother_Dustin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mostly at nearest lake, fishing
Posts: 8
Brother_Dustin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Thank You Nobar King and believe me, it IS duct taped.
__________________
Job. 19:29

"Be ye afraid of the sword: for wrath bringeth the punishments of the sword, that ye may know there is a judgment."
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-03-2009, 04:09 AM
William Snodgrass's Avatar
William Snodgrass William Snodgrass is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 34
William Snodgrass has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.William Snodgrass has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.William Snodgrass has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.William Snodgrass has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Is your wife a Christian also?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-06-2009, 01:34 AM
Brother_Dustin's Avatar
Brother_Dustin Brother_Dustin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mostly at nearest lake, fishing
Posts: 8
Brother_Dustin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Well, of course, my wife is a Christian! I would not marry any other SCUM!
How can you ask me such a degrading question??
__________________
Job. 19:29

"Be ye afraid of the sword: for wrath bringeth the punishments of the sword, that ye may know there is a judgment."
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-06-2009, 02:38 PM
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
Posts: 11,026
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Greetings, Brother Dustin. This is the first time I've become aware of you on Our Godly Board®

I Hope that you and I shall get to really know each other - in the Biblical sense.

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-01-2009, 10:59 AM
High Queen of Dorkness's Avatar
High Queen of Dorkness High Queen of Dorkness is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Lockport, New York
Posts: 209
High Queen of Dorkness is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

I shower all the time, and I'm fine.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:01 PM
Once was lost's Avatar
Once was lost Once was lost is offline
...but now is found.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Real American™ Silver Tither Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: On an island in the North Atlantic
Posts: 476
Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™Once was lost is a True Christian™
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Brother-Dustin
Quote:
Though I did punish her, I don't know what else to do beyond these lines.
I need advice on what the right thing to do would be.
You missed the first step. You did not punish her. Please listen to those who are offering you advice in here. I know i do and it helps me greatly each tiime i read their posts. I will be a better Christian for doing so.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-02-2009, 12:11 AM
OJohnathanEPennings3's Avatar
OJohnathanEPennings3 OJohnathanEPennings3 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4
OJohnathanEPennings3 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.OJohnathanEPennings3 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by High Queen of Dorkness View Post
I shower all the time, and I'm fine.
I think not, because you are in a men only forum
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-02-2009, 01:15 PM
Negative_Cool's Avatar
Negative_Cool Negative_Cool is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: In my hotrod, that Jesus built.
Posts: 63
Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Dustin View Post
Thank You Nobar King and believe me, it IS duct taped.
I wouldn't trust duct tape, most of it is made by commie china men. I know I've had accidents with it before.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-02-2009, 02:47 PM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,411
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Negative_Cool View Post
I wouldn't trust duct tape, most of it is made by commie china men. I know I've had accidents with it before.
Those are fighting words, you negative nellie. Anything can be fixed with duct tape.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-02-2009, 11:36 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,672
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Those are fighting words, you negative nellie. Anything can be fixed with duct tape.
Cool down Brother Nobar, remember your blood pressure.

This fellow is an Austrian. The duct tape they get is the inferior stuff made in the Orient. You and I have access to the good stuff, the original Duct Tape® made in America.

Another reason to thank God for not punishing us by being foreigners.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-02-2009, 11:59 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,571
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

This reminds of some horrible rumors I heard about during my missionary days about sinners duct taping hamsters so they wouldn't explode when you debauched yourself on them. People who spread these rumors are terrible and cruel folks out to trick the unwary into embarrassing a illegal acts. Jesus will make those rumor spreaders pay for their lies.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 03-03-2009, 12:28 AM
Negative_Cool's Avatar
Negative_Cool Negative_Cool is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: In my hotrod, that Jesus built.
Posts: 63
Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Cool down Brother Nobar, remember your blood pressure.

This fellow is an Austrian. The duct tape they get is the inferior stuff made in the Orient. You and I have access to the good stuff, the original Duct Tape® made in America.

Another reason to thank God for not punishing us by being foreigners.
There is superior non chinese/taiwanese/malaysian/cambodain/vietnamese duct tape?

If this is true, please accept my apologies Brother Nobar, I may have been too quick to judge.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 03-03-2009, 01:34 AM
LissyLovesHerself's Avatar
LissyLovesHerself LissyLovesHerself is offline
Unsaved trash
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 64
LissyLovesHerself is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.LissyLovesHerself is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.LissyLovesHerself is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Hmm. Do you guys really think its right to beat your wives? If so then not good. Jesus doesnt want that. You poor, poor naive people. This saddens me.
By the way, you beat your wife when shes pregnant, you'll go to jail for possibly the rest of your life if caught. Have fun worshipping God from the cellar!
Mean and Woman are EQUAL! =)
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 03-03-2009, 01:43 AM
Negative_Cool's Avatar
Negative_Cool Negative_Cool is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: In my hotrod, that Jesus built.
Posts: 63
Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.Negative_Cool has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LissyLovesHerself View Post
Hmm. Do you guys really think its right to beat your wives? If so then not good. Jesus doesnt want that. You poor, poor naive people. This saddens me.
By the way, you beat your wife when shes pregnant, you'll go to jail for possibly the rest of your life if caught. Have fun worshipping God from the cellar!
Mean and Woman are EQUAL! =)
Equal doesn't mean the same, you sound like you have bought into all this pansy liberal propaganda. If I have to choose between what the Bible says and what some left wing bra burning hippie says, I'll choose the Bible every time!

Your brother in Christ, NC.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 03-04-2009, 01:14 AM
Jordan Jordan is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15
Jordan is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jordan is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Dustin View Post
Hello friends,

I noticed that you have a lot of threads about women and how they should act and be treated.
I discovered a situation that I have not yet found the answer to. You see, just the other day I walked in on my wife in the shower (I don't allow her to lock any doors in the house, unless I say otherwise) and I was led to believe that she was pleasuring herself. We have a retractable shower head, and when I walked in, it was near her devil's layer and she seemed unusually embarrassed.

Though I did punish her, I don't know what else to do beyond these lines.
I need advice on what the right thing to do would be.

Your Brother in Faith,
Dustin

You're a sick twisted man. piffle, like you are messed up in the head.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
hymen vandalism, hymencaust, masturbation = gay sex, slutpocalypse, spanking for good discipline

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:35 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved