Winter Book Burning!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Just a reminder - though you all should have heard it in the announcements at church - the Winter Book Burning is this Saturday, February 14, at Donald Rumsfeld Park at the Richard M. Nixon Memorial firepits.
Bring the kids for a fun day of fireworks, friendship, and True Christian(tm) fellowship! The festivities start at 4pm, fireworks start at 8:45.
This gives you just under a week to visit friends and family to uncover any trash that needs to be sent to the devil who inspired it. This year we're particularly looking for the following insults to Jesus...

Anything by Richard Dockins or Christopher Hitchens
The "Twilight" pornography (check your daughters' and nieces' bedrooms for this filth!)
The new witchcraft manual from J(esus) K(iller) Rowling, "The Tales of Beetle Bailey"
Anything by that election thief, Al Franklin.

[Jack Stick]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

I also suggest burning anything that was written by John Grisham. That man doesn't believe in the death penalty.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Thank you for the reminder, we will be there in our Godly Iowa made Winnebago.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Dear Sister,
Of course Mr. Roberts does not tolerate any books in the house except the KJV Bible and my cookbooks.
I was wondering though, do you think we should burn the telephone book? After all, it does contain such vulgarities as the names and numbers of Cathylick churches and Jesus killer SINagouges.

Mrs. Robert Roberts

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

[...]I was wondering though, do you think we should burn the telephone book? After all, it does contain such vulgarities as the names and numbers of Cathylick churches and Jesus killer SINagouges.

Mrs. Robert Roberts

Mrs Roberts, bring any you have. If you ask your telephone company and tell them you're from Landover AND you have a Landover Telephone number, (Freehold KJV xxxx) they will send you an expurgated version.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Mrs Roberts, bring any you have. If you ask your telephone company and tell them you're from Landover AND you have a Landover Telephone number, (Freehold KJV xxxx) they will send you an expurgated version.

Glory! Thank you brother. I will do that immediately.

[jakerman3]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

BOOK BURNING REALLY?
You people are attempting to create an extremely facist censored society, you people are crazy. Haven't people burned the bible? and you people would flip shit. YOU ARE BRAINWASHING little children to follow in you psychotic belief of some guy who got crucified along with thousands of others. You are creating little soldiers to spread the belief of your one true religion and create a MASTER RACE(sound familiar? Hitler maybe?) This type of anti-democracy, anti-freedom bullshit is the one reason you guys came to the new world from england. Now guess what THE HUNTED HAS BECOME THE HUNTER. You now have this plan to rid the world of other religions and censor your children from real-life so they don't escape your mind control. I may not believe in god, but if he/she does exist then he would want you all to BURN IN HELL!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

BOOK BURNING REALLY?
You people are attempting to create an extremely facist censored society, you people are crazy. Haven't people burned the bible? and you people would flip shit. YOU ARE BRAINWASHING little children to follow in you psychotic belief of some guy who got crucified along with thousands of others. You are creating little soldiers to spread the belief of your one true religion and create a MASTER RACE(sound familiar? Hitler maybe?) This type of anti-democracy, anti-freedom bullshit is the one reason you guys came to the new world from england. Now guess what THE HUNTED HAS BECOME THE HUNTER. You now have this plan to rid the world of other religions and censor your children from real-life so they don't escape your mind control. I may not believe in god, but if he/she does exist then he would want you all to BURN IN HELL!!

No, He wants us to burn books. Read the Bible.

The first Christian book burning occured when Paul's converts at Ephesus burn 50,000 silver pieces worth of books. (Since a piece of silver was worth about a days wages, this would have been several million dollars worth of books.) It is a tradition that we follow to this day.

Acts 19:17 And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. 19:18 And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. 19:19 Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. 19:20 So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.

[JennyD]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

BOOK BURNING REALLY?
You people are attempting to create an extremely facist censored society,

What is "facist"? Do you mean "fascist"?

Do you know what "fascist" means?

Please look it up before responding.

you people are crazy.

Crazy for Jesus, yes we are!

YOU ARE BRAINWASHING little children to follow in you psychotic belief of some guy who got crucified along with thousands of others.

We don't believe in thousands of others being crucified.

Well, many probably were (it apparently was a common punishment for thieves at the time), but we don't worship them. Jesus is the only one who came back to life, you see, and washed away our sins.

Tell me, is it "brainwashing" when you insist that your school only teach the THEORY of "evolution", and ignore God's Word?

You are creating little soldiers to spread the belief of your one true religion and create a MASTER RACE(sound familiar? Hitler maybe?)

Where exactly do you see that in our desire to destroy books which distract our friends and family members from Jesus? Who said anything about race relations?

You now have this plan to rid the world of other religions and censor your children from real-life so they don't escape your mind control.

Actually, ridding the world of false religions is God's Plan. If you read your Bible, you'd know that.

I may not believe in god, but if he/she does exist then he would want you all to BURN IN HELL!!

Well, God believes in you! And He says that because you don't believe in Him, He will toss you into Hell for all eternity. That means forever, in the Lake of Fire.

Enjoy!

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

I so love a Winter book burning. Toasting marshmallows over flaming pages of demon inspired literature (anything but The Bible). Helping the little children build 'snow joos' with big hooked noses, to then watch them gleefully tear them down with pitchforks by the bonfire light.
Good times, good times.

[Hymie Goldberg]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Helping the little children build 'snow joos' with big hooked noses, to then watch them gleefully tear them down with pitchforks by the bonfire light.
Good times, good times.

Especially with Howard Dean brand Maple Syrup dribbled over the frosty little schmuck, yairs?

Hymie
(Who knows how to prepare a schmuck)

[SUV]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Then I take it we've already Burnt up all the Hairy Pooters? I didn't see them mentioned.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

Then I take it we've already Burnt up all the Hairy Pooters? I didn't see them mentioned.

If you find any that have escaped us, bring them along.

[Nobar King]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

It always seems to me like there are just too many books in existence. Everyone has a thousand books they don't read, and the goodwill has thousands of book no one is going to read, and the library has stacks of books that go unread.

Paper is a good source of heat. I say burn more books.

[Maverick676]

Re: Winter Book Burning!

While your at it throw yourselves in the fire and do the world a favor.