The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

[Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle]

In the begizzle, there was the Word, and the Word was dope, and the Word was stupid fly. It was the same-ol same-ol since the begizzle with my man G O D, you know what I'm sayin? G-Dawg set all this shizzle up, yo, and nappy-head Satan and his crew don't even know what time it is.

G-Dawg sent Grand Postle J as the opening act. Grand Postle J got the crowd all live, but he wasn't the main event. Jizzle Chrizzle was the real shizzle fo rizzle. Jizzle Chrizzle was so ill that he was iller than ill, that all them wack squares couldn't get jiggy wid it.

But a few fly skimmers got they groove on. They went to school on what Jizzle Chrizzle was laying down, and they cold got saved. Then they got invited to join His crew. How def is that? Word.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

In the begizzle, there was the Word, and the Word was dope, and the Word was stupid fly. It was the same-ol same-ol since the begizzle with my man G O D, you know what I'm sayin? G-Dawg set all this shizzle up, yo, and nappy-head Satan and his crew don't even know what time it is.

G-Dawg sent Grand Postle J as the opening act. Grand Postle J got the crowd all live, but he wasn't the main event. Jizzle Chrizzle was the real shizzle fo rizzle. Jizzle Chrizzle was so ill that he was iller than ill, that all them wack squares couldn't get jiggy wid it.

But a few fly skimmers got they groove on. They went to school on what Jizzle Chrizzle was laying down, and they cold got saved. Then they got invited to join His crew. How def is that? Word.

I'm frightened.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Indeed! (or not as the case may be)

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

I'm just taking a page from the new GOP leadership. They're making Republican party ideology accessible to young urban voters. Bizzle-Rizzle and I are using the same techniques to make the Gospel accessible to the same demographic.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Ah! I get it, I’ll say something to my faithful retainer “Boy” and then he can reply and I can type it out!

Ahem!

(Me)“The answer to everything is God isn’t it Boy?”
(Boy) “Yessum, Massa Boss!”
(Me) “And you love the Lord as you love me, isn’t that so?”
(Boy) “Yo got dat right Massa Boss!”
(Me) “Thank you, help yourself to a melon on the way out.”

(I hope you can understand the funny spelling but that’s how “Boy” talks)

[SUV]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Does this have to do with giving away free gizzards?

[Nobar King]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Is that from your new album?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Sounds like those Pantycoastals speaking in tongues to me, but if it brings in more money souls for Christ to scrub clean in His blood, then I'm 100% in favor of it, Pastor.

I'm still not sure what "it" is, but more power to you, Brother.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Sounds like those Pantycoastals speaking in tongues to me, but if it brings in more money souls for Christ to scrub clean in His blood, then I'm 100% in favor of it, Pastor.

I'm still not sure what "it" is, but more power to you, Brother.

That was the children's sermon this past Sunday, and it was a hit with the kids.

[Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Jizzle Chrizzle is...
...the king of kings, there is none higher.
Devil loving pagans should call him sire.
When He destroys the earth, He will use fire.
They'll go to Hell when they expire!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Robert Frost stand aside...

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Do you have a costume, or do you just hold a picture of your 'homie' in front of your face? Or maybe the skits are pre-recorded on VHS?

[Nobar King]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Pastor, I was inspired by your presentation and thought I'd try my hand at penning one of these 'raps'. I don't have a special pen-name, yet. Maybe you'll help me think of something. You're welcome to use this if you like it, or modify it if you can make it sing more of the Gospel.

Check this out
The sun went down when I hit Jerusalem
on my way to the strip, now I'm just prayin'
Checkin my rearview, cause Romans they will do
jack moves, damnned fools until I teach them fools-
Try to set me up for a final dinner
Messed around and get caught up in a holy mistake
but I don't represent no hatin'
Some rizzles like crucifiction but I just watch them hang
so on, and so-on, why don't you let me roll on
I remember back in the dayz when I used to have to get my stroll on
Didn't nobody wanna pray; now everybody
Break out they bibles when they hear me beatin up the streets
Is it J? Is it J?
That's what they say, every single god-lovin day, yo
But I ain't trippin I'm just kickin it
While my prayaz keep singing and holy light shining I keep grinnin- I'll be
(Rollin in my six-fo') With everybody sayin

Chorus:
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me pray
Oh yeah!
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me pray
with all the followers sayin'
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me pray
Oh yeah!
Swing down, sweet chariot stop and, let me pray

A six-fo is a Cadillac. I think that's what Jesus would drive.

[Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Pastor, I was inspired by your presentation and thought I'd try my hand at penning one of these 'raps'.

Yo Nobar that was funky fresh. I'll bust those rhymes at next week's Childrens' sizz-ermon, and then I'll let you know if they got jiggy wid it.

Word.

[JennyD]

Re: The Gizosple of Grand Postle J

Yo Nobar that was funky fresh. I'll bust those rhymes at next week's Childrens' sizz-ermon, and then I'll let you know if they got jiggy wid it.

Word.

How did it go, Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle? Did the kiddies . . . um, "get niggy wid it"?