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  • #1

    Let me introduce to you...

    Friends, I was inspired by the "ill" new direction that the GOP has taken to make itself more "dope" to the urban demographic. I found a hand puppet at a toystore at Broadway at the Beach that I thought would be perfect to use as a prop for the children's sermons at church. It proved to be a hit. The kids love him.

    It's been so successful at home, that I decided to bring him here to the forum. I'm thinking he can be a useful witnessing tool when some of the younger folks who come on here won't listen to what we old "honkies" have to say.

    So now, let me introduce to you my "MC", Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle.
    Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

    ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
    Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
    #ChristianLivesMatter

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  • #2
    Re: Let me introduce to you...

    Yo! Thanks for the intro, Pastor Cracker-Reuben.

    When them whack sinners get all up in here, we gonna drop some salvation on they crunk asses, you dig? Word to your mother! You down with G O D? Yeah, you know me!

    AYYY-mizzle
    Who am I? Check out my 411 here.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Let me introduce to you...

      Originally posted by Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle View Post
      Yo! Thanks for the intro, Pastor Cracker-Reuben.

      When them whack sinners get all up in here, we gonna drop some salvation on they crunk asses, you dig? Word to your mother! You down with G O D? Yeah, you know me!

      AYYY-mizzle
      I'm not sure you are an ex-negro but welcome to our Godly forum anyway.

      How many beeatches do you have in your harem, and how big are their booties ?


      Leviticus 26:27-29

      27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
      28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
      29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Let me introduce to you...

        Originally posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
        Friends, I was inspired by the "ill" new direction that the GOP has taken to make itself more "dope" to the urban demographic. I found a hand puppet at a toystore at Broadway at the Beach that I thought would be perfect to use as a prop for the children's sermons at church. It proved to be a hit. The kids loved him.

        It's been so successful at home, that I decided to bring him here to the forum. I'm thinking he can be a useful witnessing tool when some of the younger folks who come on here won't listen to what we old "honkies" have to say.

        So now, let me introduce to you my "MC", Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle.
        … er… thank you Pastor Billy-Reuben, I’m sure Pastor(?) Bizzle-Rizzle will be a fine temporary addition to Landover. Unfortunately, I will be away during that time, as will Mrs. Bathfire, and “Boy” and the other staff.

        Er… were there no Bobby-Soxer hand puppets available or anything else to which young folk could relate – a crooner or a modern beat combo? Pastor, have you noticed he's... well.. he's.. er... not , how should I say this? Oh Dear Lord!... white!
        Originally posted by Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle View Post
        Yo! Thanks for the intro, Pastor Cracker-Reuben.

        When them whack sinners get all up in here, we gonna drop some salvation on they crunk asses, you dig? Word to your mother! You down with G O D? Yeah, you know me!

        AYYY-mizzle
        Goodness! I must say you came as some what of a surprise… er… Yes… I’m… er… sure what you said is right… er… swinging!
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • #5
          Re: Let me introduce to you...

          Pastor B-R that sockpuppet certainly shows you are jiggy with the people with this shout out. I am sure Jesus smiles on this.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Let me introduce to you...

            It's OK Bathfire I'm sure he is harmless. Probably one of the Pastor domestics.


            Leviticus 26:27-29

            27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
            28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
            29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Let me introduce to you...

              Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
              I'm not sure you are an ex-negro but welcome to our Godly forum anyway.

              How many beeatches do you have in your harem, and how big are their booties ?
              Back in the day I hads me a stable full of bootie-shakin hoes. They booties was so big, when I wanted to do me some bootie-slappin I hads to pack a lunch, cuz it was an all day job.

              But now I done turnt my life over to Lord Jizzle Chrizzle, and He's so stupid fly that He took away all my sins, and I'm a new dawg now, G. I sent all my hoes packing. I gave up my blunts and my gin and juice, too.
              Who am I? Check out my 411 here.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Let me introduce to you...

                This should work out great. I remember how you used those sock puppets to such good effect when you gave the children's sermon on the story of Jephthah's daughter.
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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                • #9
                  Re: Let me introduce to you...

                  I can't understand that ooga booga nigra talk. Is your puppet one of those "jazz" musicians?

                  It may scare the Normal (White) children.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Let me introduce to you...

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    I can't understand that ooga booga nigra talk. Is your puppet one of those "jazz" musicians?

                    It may scare the Normal (White) children.
                    That's what I would have thought, but the kids seem to love him.

                    Pastor Billy-Reuben
                    Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                    ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                    Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                    #ChristianLivesMatter

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Let me introduce to you...

                      Is this puppet for your new project, the Christian Homies & Urban Ministries Program and Services that you mentioned to me at the last Men's Prayer Circle Pastor?

                      I bet you'd have great success if you were to take that puppet down to any one of "hoods" in say Detroit or Chicago, and witness to some of the black folks with that colorful language you were using in those previous posts!
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                      Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                      God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                      Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Let me introduce to you...

                        Originally posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
                        Is this puppet for your new project, the Christian Homies & Urban Ministries Program and Services that you mentioned to me at the last Men's Prayer Circle Pastor?

                        I bet you'd have great success if you were to take that puppet down to any one of "hoods" in say Detroit or Chicago, and witness to some of the black folks with that colorful language you were using in those previous posts!
                        I don't know when I'll get a chance to go up there. I am seriously thinking about bringing it with me next time I do some open-air preaching at one of the nearby universities.

                        Pastor Billy-Reuben
                        Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                        ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                        Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                        #ChristianLivesMatter

                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Let me introduce to you...

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          I can't understand that ooga booga nigra talk. Is your puppet one of those "jazz" musicians?

                          It may scare the Normal (White) children.
                          Isn't this WHY we have the ex-Negro Program?? My eyes are watering!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Let me introduce to you...

                            It reminds me of that time when my Cub Scout leader used a puppet to explain why I should never tell anyone our little secret.
                            Matthew 5:17-18 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

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