The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover Baptist Lounge

Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-11-2009, 11:07 AM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 8,733
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Talking My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Tonight, I had dinner with the lovely and beautiful Jan Crouch. Paul was supposed to have joined us but unfortunately he came down with a stomach ailment this morning. We ate at the famous Beverly Hills restaurant Spago and were seated just two booths away from Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. Don't get me wrong, I like Tom's movies (Saving Private Ryan was spectacular, and the Da Vinci Code exposes the dark secrets of the Catholic Church), but I was just dying to chew his wife out for not taking his last name.

Paul (the apostle, not Rev. Crouch) tells us that the man is the head of the woman. Clearly the Hankses are not living according to Biblical standards so don't be shocked when you see them splitting up on next week's People magazine cover.

Anyways, Jan and I had a wonderful conversation covering everything from the Book of John to waterskiing to the rise of Islam in Europe to hot vacation spots to effective methods of converting atheists to fundraising ideas to favorite places to shop on Rodeo Drive. She is such a witty and intelligent woman. Many people think she is a "bimbo" because of how she acts on TV and the fact that she's just absolutely gorgeous, but that woman has a mind deep down.

After tipping the waiter a hundred dollar bill we got into my Mercedes SL65 and cruised up and down Hollywood. We saw many unsaved freaks. Hookers. Drug addicts. Transvestites. Punks. Queers. We wondered just how bad this world has become and it just reaffirmed our life's mission of going on TV and winning souls for Christ.

We then drove to a upscale bar and relaxed and talked for a couple hours. The conversation got a little personal at this point and I'm not at liberty to divulge what we talked about of respect for her and myself. Before we knew it the bar was closing and I drove her back to her house. Paul was asleep. I really hope he doesn't get angry for returning her so late, but he's a gentle, forgiving man and a fantastic example of a Christian, so I don't think there will be any problem.

Here's a picture of us.
Attached Images
 
__________________

Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-12-2009, 06:27 PM
HTannor's Avatar
HTannor HTannor is offline
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™

True Christian™ Tin Tither Real American™ Christian Love Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Punched the most queers Teabag Patriot One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Pro-Life Porn Resistant TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Eats the Most Pork True Republican Proud Niglet Sponsorer 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,614
HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Rev. Jim: From time to time each of us face issues where having the ear of another is of great help.

I certainly wouldn't want you to divulge any private thoughts between the two of you, but did you find that you had to engage in any intense one-on-one counselling with Sister Jan?
__________________
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-12-2009, 07:41 PM
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 7 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Posts: 13,342
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Is her hair pink in person or does it just look that way on TV?
__________________


Find me on FaceBook Here
Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here


Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-12-2009, 10:08 PM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
True Christian™ Televangelist
Director of Fundraising and Tithing
On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Tithing Manager Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Teabag Patriot Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Japan Iceland Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 8,733
Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
Rev. Jim: From time to time each of us face issues where having the ear of another is of great help.

I certainly wouldn't want you to divulge any private thoughts between the two of you, but did you find that you had to engage in any intense one-on-one counselling with Sister Jan?
Well you can probably tell by watching "Praise the Lord" the last couple of years. Jan doesn't seem as ebullient and effervescent as she once was. And it's not due to age either. Let's just say I was there to offer pastoral advice and my personal friendship to some issues she cannot talk to her husband about.

Needless to say, I have another date dinner planned with Jan this upcoming Friday. I'll let you know how it turns out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Is her hair pink in person or does it just look that way on TV?
Well, actually it's more of a vivid magenta color. Due to the color imbalance in television signals and reception, it comes out more of a pink. But in real life, I would describe it as a rich magenta-fuchsia mix.
__________________

Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-12-2009, 11:27 PM
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
Posts: 24,892
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Sounds like it was a evening filled with rising spiritualness
__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-23-2009, 12:23 AM
Rek2008 Rek2008 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4
Rek2008 is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

How about a little commentary about your "dinner with Jan" from the "unsaved trash under investigation" ? You start off with your expensive dinner at SPAGO's sitting close to Tom Hanks and his wife whom you looked your christian nose down at because she chooses to use her own last name. (She is still an actress and is widely known by that name).

You go on from there to tell us about the C-note you tipped the waiter then got into your expensive (Mercedes SL65) automobile and cruised around Hollywood, again looking down your so-called christian noses at the low-life who aren't fortunate enough to make the kind of living you do bilking poor people out of their money.

Then you drove to an "UPSCALE" bar and began shamelessly plying Jan with drinks and getting a "little personal" with this married woman. Of course you're not at liberty to divulge what you talked about. We can imagine. You took Paul's wife home late knowing this "sensitive man" wouldn't mind. Is sensitive a euphemism for gay to you?

and then you write;

"Needless to say, I have another date/dinner planned with Jan this upcoming Friday. I'll let you know how it turns out!

How wonderful for you, Reverend Jim! You took Jan out, blew a wad on her, got her good and tipsy, probably talked about how neither of you are getting any these days and now you've scored another DATE with her. Way to go, my christian friend.

Rek2008
"Unsaved Trash under Investigation"


PS I do thank you for that nice photograph you two took together. You look like a beached walrus, but Jan looks very elegant. It's one of her better photos.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-23-2009, 01:20 AM
Rek2008 Rek2008 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4
Rek2008 is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Talking Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

By the way Rev. Jim ... I'd like a "date" with Jan too. I don't have a Mercedes but I bet she'd love a ride on my Harley. Howz about sharing her cell number with me. I wouldn't even publish it on my yahoo group ...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JanCROUCHHottie


Well, not right away, anyway.

Rek2008
Unsaved Scumbag under Investigation
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-23-2009, 01:27 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is online now
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 75,181
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rek2008 View Post
By the way Rev. Jim ... I'd like a "date" with Jan too. I don't have a Mercedes but I bet she'd love a ride on my Harley. Howz about sharing her cell number with me. I wouldn't even publish it on my yahoo group ...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JanCROUCHHottie


Well, not right away, anyway.

Rek2008
Unsaved Scumbag under Investigation
Are you some kind of a sick-o? One of those Televangelist groupie stalkers? I've had to deal with my share of you freaks, and I know that sister Crouch and Rev. Jim have too.

Don't make us have to get Jesus to take out a restraining order on you.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-23-2009, 01:39 AM
Rek2008 Rek2008 is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4
Rek2008 is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Are you some kind of a sick-o? One of those Televangelist groupie stalkers? I've had to deal with my share of you freaks, and I know that sister Crouch and Rev. Jim have too.

Don't make us have to get Jesus to take out a restraining order on you.
Guilty as charged. Ms. Crouch just brings out the beast in me. I look at her pictures and suddenly I'm not myself ... all I can think of is sodomizing the gomorrah out of her while she's fervently praising the RIZ ! I'm goin' to hell I JUST KNOW IT! What can be done for me, Pastor ??

Rek2008
Unsaved decadent televangelist-stalking sodomizer
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-23-2009, 01:51 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is online now
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 75,181
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rek2008 View Post
Guilty as charged. Ms. Crouch just brings out the beast in me. I look at her pictures and suddenly I'm not myself ... all I can think of is sodomizing the gomorrah out of her while she's fervently praising the RIZ ! I'm goin' to hell I JUST KNOW IT! What can be done for me, Pastor ??

Rek2008
Unsaved decadent televangelist-stalking sodomizer
Well, you might try accepting Jesus as your Personal Savior® for starters.

Are you a queer as well? Betty Bower's BASH Program can help you there.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:58 AM
cigary cigary is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
cigary is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Tonight, I had dinner with the lovely and beautiful Jan Crouch. Paul was supposed to have joined us but unfortunately he came down with a stomach ailment this morning. We ate at the famous Beverly Hills restaurant Spago and were seated just two booths away from Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. Don't get me wrong, I like Tom's movies (Saving Private Ryan was spectacular, and the Da Vinci Code exposes the dark secrets of the Catholic Church), but I was just dying to chew his wife out for not taking his last name.

Paul (the apostle, not Rev. Crouch) tells us that the man is the head of the woman. Clearly the Hankses are not living according to Biblical standards so don't be shocked when you see them splitting up on next week's People magazine cover.

Anyways, Jan and I had a wonderful conversation covering everything from the Book of John to waterskiing to the rise of Islam in Europe to hot vacation spots to effective methods of converting atheists to fundraising ideas to favorite places to shop on Rodeo Drive. She is such a witty and intelligent woman. Many people think she is a "bimbo" because of how she acts on TV and the fact that she's just absolutely gorgeous, but that woman has a mind deep down.

After tipping the waiter a hundred dollar bill we got into my Mercedes SL65 and cruised up and down Hollywood. We saw many unsaved freaks. Hookers. Drug addicts. Transvestites. Punks. Queers. We wondered just how bad this world has become and it just reaffirmed our life's mission of going on TV and winning souls for Christ.

We then drove to a upscale bar and relaxed and talked for a couple hours. The conversation got a little personal at this point and I'm not at liberty to divulge what we talked about of respect for her and myself. Before we knew it the bar was closing and I drove her back to her house. Paul was asleep. I really hope he doesn't get angry for returning her so late, but he's a gentle, forgiving man and a fantastic example of a Christian, so I don't think there will be any problem.

Here's a picture of us.
What piety! Just reading this makes me want to wretch when I think of those who think of themselves as better than they really are. How vain to think of yourself driving in your Mercedes going to upscale bars...tipping with C notes...you have no idea the harm you do just by pretending to be Gods chosen. You undo in one evening what it takes true evangelists years to set examples. Enjoy your riches in this life because eternity is just around the corner where you will be judged for the things done in this life. Hypocrisy is truly an ugly thing to behold....I don't have a C note to tip you Mr. Osborne but I do have a warning...start investing in some asbestos underwear cuz you're going to need it where you're going.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-07-2010, 09:28 AM
cigary cigary is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
cigary is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Dear cigary,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Insulting Landover and/or TCs
-------
How rude.

You got that right Mrs. Rogers...it's obscene that you feel Mr. Osborne is such an upright and righteous individual when his hypocrisy and yours is so evident. You might want to read some parables that our Lord talked about...those people who are like "whited sepulchres"...you and Mr. Osborne and the Crouches are no better than the Pharisees and Saducees who walked around in their robes and expensive jewelry proclaiming to be religious people when in fact you're all like dead people inside. Go ahead and hit me with some more infractions because you can't hide from the truth...a family like their who extort money and live like they do on million dollar salaries all the while begging for more money..very impressive when the whole family is on the payroll for millions of dollars and she wears more make up and dresses like the hookers on the street. What Christian woman would dress like that and then call herself a Christian? Isn't she supposed to bring glory to God instead of dressing up like RuPaul? Her hair alone looks like something that got caught in propellar and whoever puts on her makeup must use a paint brush...seriously!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-07-2010, 11:53 AM
Bryan Tamariki's Avatar
Bryan Tamariki Bryan Tamariki is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

True Christian Caucasian Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus One Year/1000 posts 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 289
Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.Bryan Tamariki has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Rev. Jim, if you have the pleasure of dining with Jan Crouch again could you please get her autograph for me? My good friend Pastor Sean, from the Church of the Cross in Turangi, is a big fan of hers.

YIC
Bryan.
__________________
Joshua 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-07-2010, 04:20 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,365
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by cigary View Post
Dear cigary,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Insulting Landover and/or TCs
-------
How rude.

You got that right Mrs. Rogers...it's obscene that you feel Mr. Osborne is such an upright and righteous individual when his hypocrisy and yours is so evident. You might want to read some parables that our Lord talked about...those people who are like "whited sepulchres"...you and Mr. Osborne and the Crouches are no better than the Pharisees and Saducees who walked around in their robes and expensive jewelry proclaiming to be religious people when in fact you're all like dead people inside. Go ahead and hit me with some more infractions because you can't hide from the truth...a family like their who extort money and live like they do on million dollar salaries all the while begging for more money..very impressive when the whole family is on the payroll for millions of dollars and she wears more make up and dresses like the hookers on the street. What Christian woman would dress like that and then call herself a Christian? Isn't she supposed to bring glory to God instead of dressing up like RuPaul? Her hair alone looks like something that got caught in propellar and whoever puts on her makeup must use a paint brush...seriously!
Friend,

Please listen to Jesus.
John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Now how is one hair color anything but appearances? Yes, you personally don't like big hair like Jan Crouch or men in Italian 100% wool suits like Rev Osbron but that is no excuse to damn them. Both Osborn and Crouch have spent years spreading The Lord's word. So what if Jesus tosses them a bone or two as a reward in the here and now? It's their deeds that count.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-07-2010, 07:33 PM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Why do the unsaved trash always whine when they get an infraction? I guess that's why they hate God as well, because God corrects us and tests us and they don't like that. Nope in their little mind, God is supposed to make this world a complete utopia just for them.
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:06 PM
HTannor's Avatar
HTannor HTannor is offline
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™

True Christian™ Tin Tither Real American™ Christian Love Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Punched the most queers Teabag Patriot One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Pro-Life Porn Resistant TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Eats the Most Pork True Republican Proud Niglet Sponsorer 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,614
HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Your words are powerful, Sister BIG.

For the life of me I can't understand why Unsaved Trash comes in here when they are clearly God haters and mockers.
__________________
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:15 PM
cigary cigary is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4
cigary is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Somebody put "Unsaved Trash" under my Avatar...which would be the Administrators. Explain to me how "good people" like yourselves who obviously have Gods right ear ( puhleeeeze) are so busy touting themselves as Christians....you're demons who need to be cast out. You're sick self serving children of the Devil who beg for money,,,think of themselves as "better" than others and then label others as "scum"....are you kidding me? You crazy people best start getting used to BBQ's cuz you're going to be one of the many briquets on Hells BBQ!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:18 PM
landoverlover's Avatar
landoverlover landoverlover is offline
Also loves Jesus and America
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lone Christian in pagan Oregon
Posts: 822
landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.landoverlover is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

I hope you will convey 'best wishes' to Paul. He's looking a bit like Lurch on the Addams Family, sad to say. Are you sure it's just a stomach thing?
Attached Images
  
__________________
Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



King James Bible v1611

Good Enough For JESUS....Good Enough For Me !!

Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:26 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,365
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by cigary View Post
Somebody put "Unsaved Trash" under my Avatar...which would be the Administrators. Explain to me how "good people" like yourselves who obviously have Gods right ear ( puhleeeeze) are so busy touting themselves as Christians....you're demons who need to be cast out. You're sick self serving children of the Devil who beg for money,,,think of themselves as "better" than others and then label others as "scum"....are you kidding me? You crazy people best start getting used to BBQ's cuz you're going to be one of the many briquets on Hells BBQ!
You can't judge us friend.
Matthew 7:1
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
That's Jesus talking friend.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 09-07-2010, 08:31 PM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: My Dinner with televangelist Jan Crouch

Quote:
Originally Posted by cigary View Post
Somebody put "Unsaved Trash" under my Avatar...which would be the Administrators. Explain to me how "good people" like yourselves who obviously have Gods right ear ( puhleeeeze) are so busy touting themselves as Christians....you're demons who need to be cast out. You're sick self serving children of the Devil who beg for money,,,think of themselves as "better" than others and then label others as "scum"....are you kidding me? You crazy people best start getting used to BBQ's cuz you're going to be one of the many briquets on Hells BBQ!
Look if you don't like it here, just click the little red X at the top right of your browser. Everyone starts out as unsaved trash, you're not that special. You have to prove yourself a True Christian, which I must say you are failing miserably at.

And who here has begged you for money? Anyone? Who's making unfounded judgments?

Anyway, wasn't today the first day of school? Why aren't you there?
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
food for thought:let's eat!, televangelists

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:04 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved