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  • Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

    Greetings in Jesus Holy Name!

    Landover Baptist Church is pleased to announce our first annual International Halloween Candy Burning 2010. Shout GLORY!!


    Brothers and sisters in Christ, it doesn't take a Bible scholar like me to see that America has turned its back on God. Everywhere we look, our society has become increasingly Godless and morally decadent. What used to be a nation founded on the commandments of God Almighty has slowly been turned over to the hands of the ultra liberals, the sodomites and the Godmockers.

    Every year millions of children around America do the devil's work and go "trick-or-treating," and many of them never come home. There is no denying that Halloween is the most dangerous holiday celebrated in America. Satanists/Wiccans and child murderers use this holiday as an excuse to do their dark deeds, putting your child at risk every time they ring a doorbell and ask for a candied treat. Degenerate child-molesting homersexurals use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in women's clothing and rape your children! So what can we do as believers? Sit back and watch as the country we so love goes down the drain?

    Halloween is Lucifer's birthday and candy is his currency. It is the favorite day of the year for Democrats, homersexurals, sex pedophiles and atheist-Muslims. And it is a proven fact that witches cast spells over all the Halloween candy sold in the world. To show these scum that we are serious about Salvation®, we will burn their precious Halloween candy on the night of October 31st until they cease this wicked celebration of the Devil! Please join us in Proverbs Park on Sunday, October 31st for food, fun and games that culminate in the immolation of a massive pile of confiscated Halloween candy. Hopefully the flames will reach so high they will be seen in Washington! Christians may be a persecuted minority in America but we have a voice! Stand up to wicked America and burn their idols until they beg us to stop!

    Festivities include:
    • 6:00pm - Anti-Halloween Parade (No costumes allowed!)
    • 6:30pm - Winner of 2010 Landover Baptist Witch Hunt announced
    • 7:00pm - Dunk the queer / Screening of Christian horror movie classic "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (2003)
    • 7:45pm - Obama effigy burning
    • 8:15pm - Bible Memorization Recital (ages 4-7)
    • 9:00pm - Halloween Candy Burning


    Unless Halloween is officially canceled and outlawed in the United States, Landover Baptist Church will buy up all the candy in the Central Iowa region and burn it just to show the world that we are not afraid of satan!
    Last edited by Felicity; 10-18-2010, 08:43 PM. Reason: New sponsor
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

    The Wash O'Hanley Show will be broadcasting live from Proverbs Park that evening so tune in!
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    • #3
      Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

      I'll be there will my handy Bic lighter and wearing my fire retardant/fire proof suit!

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      Tweet me Here
      My GODLY Bio Here

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      • #4
        Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

        I'm quite sure this will be a successful event. What kid would want to dress up and go trick or treating when they can have more fun doing the Bible memorization and recital? Needless to say, the highlight of the evening, the Candy Burning is great fun for all ages. Everyone likes to set fire to things and watch them burn. Especially if it's something corrupting and Satanic like Halloween Candy, Obama effigies, or those Hannah Montana rock and roll CDs.

        Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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        • #5
          Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

          How you doin'?

          Since I'm in California I can't come to this event, but hopefully I will confiscate enough candy from the panhandling trick-or-treaters that come to my house to burn my own pile of Satan's money!
          My story is like that of most, if not all Born Again Christians: I was lost, I did some drugs, I had sex with a lot of women, then I had sex with a lot of men, then I did it with some children, then I did it with some animals, then I went back to women for a little bit but also did it with animals on the side, then I did it with men and some children, then I got a bunch of irreversible STDs and can no longer get an erection so I decided to give my life to Christ since I can't bone women or men or children or animals anymore. Read my testimony here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=21140

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          • #6
            Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

            This means that my sons only have two weeks to finish memorizing their Psalms. I know what we'll be focusing on in their homeschooling until then!

            Can we throw any books into the bonfire while we're burning candy? I intercepted a box of Harry Potter books a few months ago and have been waiting for such an opportunity.
            II Thessalonians 1:7-9
            And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
            In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
            Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



            The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

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            • #7
              Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

              Now THIS sounds like fun!

              Are we allowed to roast marshmallows and hot dogs?

              Pastor, I'm so glad that I'll be in Freehold from October 30 through November 3! I can come to the candy burn, AND the post-election Bash!

              I'm surprised nobody has posted an announcement about the Post-Election Bash on November 2nd. Sister Phebe was telling me all about it, and the celebrations planned as each Congressional seat or Governorship goes God's Own Party!
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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              • #8
                Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                About time we show Lucifer how much we think of a his demon food! I can already hear of the screams of the unbelievers as we set the their little "trick" in their false "treat" into the flames. Come the 31st ACORN can't help you now liberals! PRAISE!

                Me and the boys on the Security Detail chipped in and we will have two fully loaded semis from the Mars Candy corporation making delivers of about 48 pallet loads of trick or treat candy for the burning. That will be a lot of candy that will be kept out of the mouths of little children this Hellyween. GLORY!

                Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                Hot Must ReadThreads!


                Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                • #9
                  Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                  But won't the witches just curse more candy?

                  My congregation has a special event where we invite all the local kids to come by for our Hell House, but require that they leave their treat bags at the bag-check upon entering.

                  They get them back, but they have been refilled with wonderful, Godly treats . . . a KJV Bible, for starters, and some appropriate candies:





                  And of course Testamints™ and Tangy Tarts™, candies with Scripture.

                  The kids all love the beautiful bonfire at the end of the Hell House, not knowing that the blue and green flames are the result of us tossing in their heaps of carefully-collected Satanic mass-market candy. (One former member of the congregation insisted it was the burning of the plastic wrappers which caused the colored flames.)

                  We've done this for two years so far. The first was immensely successful, with over 100 kids (a big deal in a small town like North Salem). We only got three last year. I guess we know who's Christian and who isn't, don't we?
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                    Does candy even burn, or does it just melt?
                    Things are going to get worse before they get better.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                      We're sending this candy back to Hell where it can't hurt any more children! Praise Jesus
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                      • #12
                        Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                        Originally posted by Palmer C. Eldrich View Post
                        Does candy even burn, or does it just melt?
                        It will need some assistance to get up to the right temperature, but yes eventually it will start to burn.

                        I'm disappointed that my boys are either too old or too young to enter the contest though.
                        Drama queen

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                        • #13
                          Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                          Sister, you've given me a wonderful idea!

                          Why not a series of carnival-type games . . . throw the candy into the Gates of Hell, or throw the candy to knock down a stack of stacked demon/Harry Potter action figures?

                          Fun for all ages, and with Godly prizes available!

                          How about a contest to build the best candy-destruction device for the older kids? Something for the Creation Science students.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                            Originally posted by Palmer C. Eldrich View Post
                            Does candy even burn, or does it just melt?
                            I'm sure the candy will get some help from a little lighter fluid and pages from the Qu'ran and The God Delusion.
                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              Re: Landover Baptist Halloween Candy Burning 2010

                              Originally posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
                              I'm sure the candy will get some help from a little lighter fluid and pages from the Qu'ran and The God Delusion.
                              I'm bringing a stack of Jon Stewart DVDs. They burn as with the flames of Hell itself.
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

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