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Old 12-11-2010, 07:29 AM
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Default The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Brothers and Sisters, I have found on the Internets an image of the REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

We've all seen this innocent-seeming pile of pasta:



But here it is in its natural form!



In reality, it is a demon called "Yog-Sothoth"!

It is described as follows:

Quote:
...great globes of light massing toward the opening, and not alone these, but the breaking apart of the nearest globes, and the protoplasmic flesh that flowed blackly outward to join together and form that eldritch, hideous horror from outer space, that spawn of the blankness of primal time, that tentacled amorphous monster which was the lurker at the threshold, whose mask was as a congeries of iridescent globes, the noxious Yog-Sothoth, who froths as primal slime in nuclear chaos beyond the nethermost outposts of space and time!
Can it be any more obvious? This horrific demon has been "pastafied" to make it seem silly and friendly, so people will put Yog-Sothoth emblems on their cars and worship him under a false name, eventually calling him forth into the world!
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Old 12-11-2010, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Why did you have to mention the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It will surely bring Jo Freddie back from where he is hiding.
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Old 12-11-2010, 07:50 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

That is very helpful Rev. M.

It is the acme of the demonic career structure to masquerade as God. They always seem to get around to writing false scriptures pretty soon, too. But how different from God's own word, The Bible, they are. God has gone out of His way to spare us the torture He has prepared, time and time again. People still ignore His plan, even though the consequences are so very terrible.

The spaghetti imposter only wants to lure us into his cave and perpetrate abominations upon us.

Psalm 35:20
Psalm 40:15
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Old 12-11-2010, 07:53 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Surely the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a false god concocted by perverts obsessed with the male genitalia.


Genesis 35:2 (King James Version) 2Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:


Exodus 20:3-5 (King James Version) 3Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;


Exodus 20:23 (King James Version) 23Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.


Exodus 23:13 (King James Version) 13And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.


Leviticus 19:4 (King James Version) 4Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.


Leviticus 26:1 (King James Version) 1Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up any image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I am the LORD your God.


Deuteronomy 4:16 16Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female,


Deuteronomy 4:19 19And lest thou lift up thine eyes unto heaven, and when thou seest the sun, and the moon, and the stars, even all the host of heaven, shouldest be driven to worship them, and serve them, which the LORD thy God hath divided unto all nations under the whole heaven.


Deuteronomy 4:28 28And there ye shall serve gods, the work of men's hands, wood and stone, which neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell.


Deuteronomy 27:15 (King James Version) 15Cursed be the man that maketh any graven or molten image, an abomination unto the LORD, the work of the hands of the craftsman, and putteth it in a secret place. And all the people shall answer and say, Amen.


1 Samuel 15:23 (King James Version) 23For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.


2 Kings 18:4 (King James Version) 4He removed the high places, and brake the images, and cut down the groves, and brake in pieces the brasen serpent that Moses had made: for unto those days the children of Israel did burn incense to it: and he called it Nehushtan.


Psalm 115:4-5 (King James Version) 4Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men's hands. 5They have mouths, but they speak not: eyes have they, but they see not:


Isaiah 42:17 (King James Version) 17They shall be turned back, they shall be greatly ashamed, that trust in graven images, that say to the molten images, Ye are our gods.


Isaiah 45:20 (King James Version) 20Assemble yourselves and come; draw near together, ye that are escaped of the nations: they have no knowledge that set up the wood of their graven image, and pray unto a god that cannot save.


Jeremiah 19:4-5 (King James Version) 4Because they have forsaken me, and have estranged this place, and have burned incense in it unto other gods, whom neither they nor their fathers have known, nor the kings of Judah, and have filled this place with the blood of innocents; 5They have built also the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings unto Baal, which I commanded not, nor spake it, neither came it into my mind:


Ezekiel 23:37 (King James Version) 37That they have committed adultery, and blood is in their hands, and with their idols have they committed adultery, and have also caused their sons, whom they bare unto me, to pass for them through the fire, to devour them.


Acts 17:29 (King James Version) 29Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device.


Romans 1:22-23 (King James Version) 22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.


Romans 1:25 (King James Version) 25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.


1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (King James Version) 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.


1 Corinthians 8:1-13 (King James Version)1Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. 2And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. 3But if any man love God, the same is known of him. 4As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is none other God but one. 5For though there be that are called gods, whether in heaven or in earth, (as there be gods many, and lords many,) 6But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him. 7Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled. 8But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse. 9But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. 10For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; 11And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? 12But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ. 13Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.


1 Corinthians 10:7 (King James Version) 7Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.


1 Corinthians 10:14 (King James Version) 14Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.


1 Corinthians 10:20 (King James Version) 20But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils.


1 Corinthians 12:2 (King James Version) 2Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.


1 Peter 4:3 (King James Version) 3For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:


1 John 5:21 (King James Version) 21Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.


Revelation 2:14 (King James Version) 14But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.


Revelation 2:20 (King James Version) 20Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.


Revelation 9:20 (King James Version) 20And the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk:


Revelation 21:8 (King James Version) 8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Old 12-11-2010, 02:06 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

The flying spaghetti monster is simply a religion that mocks Christianity and it's off shoots. No one actually believes in the FSM. They simply use it to show how childish the idea of God is. No one would believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster, why would anyone believe in something that is so similar with just a different name and image.
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Old 12-11-2010, 02:26 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Jesus looks like spaghetti to you? Idiot. You must be special is that it?
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Old 12-11-2010, 03:14 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cath. Child Molestor View Post
No one actually believes in the FSM. They simply use it to show how childish the idea of God is.
Uh yes, generations of humans were childish because they believe in God?
Tell that some crusaders from the middle age, they would show you with the sword how childish they are.
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Old 12-11-2010, 03:19 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

I'm sure he'll get the thrust of their argument the hard way. Shame we don't educate unbelievers the same way anymore.
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Old 12-11-2010, 03:20 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Popdart View Post
I'm sure he'll get the thrust of their argument the hard way. Shame we don't educate unbelievers the same way anymore.
Truer words...indeed.
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Old 12-11-2010, 09:17 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Well I knew it was a demon of one sort or another.

BTW, I havent seen our resident pasta freak around, are you Pastors beating the demons out of him?
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Old 12-12-2010, 04:00 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cath. Child Molestor View Post
The flying spaghetti monster is simply a religion that mocks Christianity and it's off shoots. No one actually believes in the FSM. They simply use it to show how childish the idea of God is. No one would believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster, why would anyone believe in something that is so similar with just a different name and image.
Of course it's a joke, just as the image of Satan as Pan is a joke. The idea is to make powerful, destructive forces seem silly, so people don't believe they exist. <-- does that look scary to you?

Would you believe there are lip-service Christians who say they don't believe Satan works in the world today? That only shows that he has succeeded in his greatest fraud -- convincing people that he doesn't exist.

In the same way, the Pastafarians, by and large, have no idea they are worshipping Yog-Sothoth. They think, just as you say, that they are making fun of the "idiotic and ignorant" 78% of Americans who are Christian, a demographic including most business leaders and politicians. But I guess the latte-serving Pastafarians are ever so much more advanced than the folks who can afford to buy a latte.

In actuality, by putting Yog-Sothoth's symbol on their vehicles and their doors, they are helping him to enter the collective culture in a fluffy-bunny form. This will make his entry into our dimension easier; they will call to him without realizing it. Even unsuspecting Christians, seeing and thinking of the symbol, will call him.

We can only pray that the 2012 elections, the instituting of a Christian Theocracy, and the immediate banning of all "idols" and worship of all gods other than God will come soon enough to obliterate this demonic threat!
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Old 12-12-2010, 02:29 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Jesus looks like spaghetti to you? Idiot. You must be special is that it?
Do you mean that deformed people get their own pasta god?

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  #13  
Old 12-14-2010, 04:57 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Look! I have found another image of the vile Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Old 12-14-2010, 05:57 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Originally Posted by Cath. Child Molestor View Post
The flying spaghetti monster is simply a religion that mocks Christianity and it's off shoots. No one actually believes in the FSM. They simply use it to show how childish the idea of God is. No one would believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster, why would anyone believe in something that is so similar with just a different name and image.
Perhaps you've been drinking too much of that used holy water, but it's obvious that your catlicking has turned your brain into a dried out piece of fish.
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Old 12-16-2010, 11:52 AM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Brothers and Sisters, I have found on the Internets an image of the REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

We've all seen this innocent-seeming pile of pasta:


I wonder what happens if someone turns on the Christmas lights attached to it, maybe we will have instantly fried spaghetti monster barbaque,lol.
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  #16  
Old 12-16-2010, 12:57 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Brothers and Sisters, I have found on the Internets an image of the REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

We've all seen this innocent-seeming pile of pasta:



But here it is in its natural form!



In reality, it is a demon called "Yog-Sothoth"!

It is described as follows:

Quote:
...great globes of light massing toward the opening, and not alone these, but the breaking apart of the nearest globes, and the protoplasmic flesh that flowed blackly outward to join together and form that eldritch, hideous horror from outer space, that spawn of the blankness of primal time, that tentacled amorphous monster which was the lurker at the threshold, whose mask was as a congeries of iridescent globes, the noxious Yog-Sothoth, who froths as primal slime in nuclear chaos beyond the nethermost outposts of space and time!
Can it be any more obvious? This horrific demon has been "pastafied" to make it seem silly and friendly, so people will put Yog-Sothoth emblems on their cars and worship him under a false name, eventually calling him forth into the world!
Umm, I'm a newly converted Pastafarian, you know maybe instead of thinking everything that you don't like must be evil or a demon, you might want to just think that Some people have their own beliefs and customs, and maybe they're not out to kill you or rape you or any of your outlandish assumes, maybe they just don't agree with your customs, FSM isn't "Yog-Sothoth" It's a f ucking Flying Pile of Spaghetti, I honestly don't know were you get this retarded crap from.

Quote:
Surely the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a false god concocted by perverts obsessed with the male genitalia.
Not everything is gay -.-, I personally believe in FSM because it is a equal religion, ( as in they don't care if your black or white, or male or female ).

Quote:
The flying spaghetti monster is simply a religion that mocks Christianity and it's off shoots. No one actually believes in the FSM. They simply use it to show how childish the idea of God is. No one would believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster, why would anyone believe in something that is so similar with just a different name and image.
I don't mock god, I simply believe in a kinder god, that has a different physical appearance than your god. And as a matter of fact, I DO believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And the FSM isn't similar to your god, the FSM believes in equality, where your god does not. And you may think our religion is stupid because we believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster, but to other people christianity sounds like the belief in an invisible guy with super powers and a zombie son that came back from the grave and floated up into the sky promising to return eventually. I am honestly not trying to make fun of christianity, I am simply saying that other people might see your religion as something incredibly retarded sounding. Have a pleasant day =D And may his noodly appendage touch your soul. =D
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  #17  
Old 12-16-2010, 01:14 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Originally Posted by ouththecloset View Post
the FSM believes in equality, where your god does not
So you want to treat someone who bashes in the skulls of little children the same as someone who hands out food to the poor?
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:44 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ouththecloset View Post
[...]FSM isn't "Yog-Sothoth" It's a f ucking Flying Pile of Spaghetti, I honestly don't know were you get this retarded crap from.[...]
Well, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck... We here at LBC have always said that Bobby Henderson is in league with the Powers of Darkness but, up until I saw that picture, I had no idea how serious it was.

It seems to me that Bobby Henderson has fooled you all into worshiping some evil power. Far from inventing a religion, he has taken an old and evil god and resurrected him - fiendishly clever!

Your soul is in peril, please seek Jesus.
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  #19  
Old 12-16-2010, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

You know what this means right? God HATES Italy.
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  #20  
Old 12-16-2010, 10:52 PM
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Default Re: The REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster!

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Originally Posted by cazoofool View Post
You know what this means right? God HATES Italy.
Hm, you might be on to something there.
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