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This is not directed at those of you who have come here with a sincere desire to fellowship with Christians and seek answers to Biblical questions. This is for those of you who think it's funny to come here and try to get a rise out of us.
Just to make your lives easier, here is a form letter you can fill out. Simply fill in the blanks, put a check mark next to the appropriate options, and you'll have your introductory troll post all squared away:
_Hello,
_Namaste,
_Blessed Be,
_Word Up,
_Orale Vato,
_Greetings,
My name is __________ and I am a
_false Christian
_Buddhist
_Wiccan
_Satanist
_"Free Thinker"
_Unitarian
_Mormon
_moron
_idolator
_homosexual
_drug addict
_hippie
_Lutheran
_European
_"1337 haxxor"
_Methodist
_Feminazi
(check all that apply)
_I attend _____________ (enter name of non-existent Church)
_I attend _____________ (enter name of church you found in the Yellow Pages)
_I do not belong to any church or believe in organized religion.
_The Earth and the trees are my church.
_My favorite Bible verse is ____________________________________ (Copy and paste random verse from NIV Life Application Study Bible)
_I have ___ children.
I am
_unmarried.
_married to a man.
_married to a woman.
_married to a toaster.
_married to several men.
_married to several women.
_married to several men and women.
_married to several men, women, and toasters.
(check all that apply)
I am here to
_waste your time.
_amuse myself.
_lie to you.
_use circumlocution to obfuscate the fact that I am a moral relativist.
_use misinterpretations of scripture to create the false impression of the Bible contradicting itself.
_horrify you.
_flaunt my gay "lifestyle."
_lead you astray.
_flame you.
_make you feel sorry for me.
_get you all worked up.
_send my unsolicited "dick pics" to Forum Members or True Christians with whom I'd like to have "cyber-sex."
(check all that apply)
When my initial post doesn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I will
_take things up a notch.
_play dumb.
_drop my thin veneer of civility.
_act like a baby.
_copy and paste meaningless garbage from Wikipedia.
_copy and paste meaningless garbage from "scientific" publications.
_get on my high horse.
_say I feel sorry for all of you.
_accuse you of being racists.
_accuse you of being homophobic.
_accuse you of being xenophobic.
_decry your blatant misogyny.
_insist that I understand the Bible better than you.
(check all that apply)
Well there you have it, new trolls. I suppose with all the time this form has saved you, you'll be able to spend more time doing the things that really matter to you, like getting high, downloading pornography, and listening to NPR.
YOU'RE WELCOME!
Just to make your lives easier, here is a form letter you can fill out. Simply fill in the blanks, put a check mark next to the appropriate options, and you'll have your introductory troll post all squared away:
_Hello,
_Namaste,
_Blessed Be,
_Word Up,
_Orale Vato,
_Greetings,
My name is __________ and I am a
_false Christian
_Buddhist
_Wiccan
_Satanist
_"Free Thinker"
_Unitarian
_Mormon
_moron
_idolator
_homosexual
_drug addict
_hippie
_Lutheran
_European
_"1337 haxxor"
_Methodist
_Feminazi
(check all that apply)
_I attend _____________ (enter name of non-existent Church)
_I attend _____________ (enter name of church you found in the Yellow Pages)
_I do not belong to any church or believe in organized religion.
_The Earth and the trees are my church.
_My favorite Bible verse is ____________________________________ (Copy and paste random verse from NIV Life Application Study Bible)
_I have ___ children.
I am
_unmarried.
_married to a man.
_married to a woman.
_married to a toaster.
_married to several men.
_married to several women.
_married to several men and women.
_married to several men, women, and toasters.
(check all that apply)
I am here to
_waste your time.
_amuse myself.
_lie to you.
_use circumlocution to obfuscate the fact that I am a moral relativist.
_use misinterpretations of scripture to create the false impression of the Bible contradicting itself.
_horrify you.
_flaunt my gay "lifestyle."
_lead you astray.
_flame you.
_make you feel sorry for me.
_get you all worked up.
_send my unsolicited "dick pics" to Forum Members or True Christians with whom I'd like to have "cyber-sex."
(check all that apply)
When my initial post doesn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I will
_take things up a notch.
_play dumb.
_drop my thin veneer of civility.
_act like a baby.
_copy and paste meaningless garbage from Wikipedia.
_copy and paste meaningless garbage from "scientific" publications.
_get on my high horse.
_say I feel sorry for all of you.
_accuse you of being racists.
_accuse you of being homophobic.
_accuse you of being xenophobic.
_decry your blatant misogyny.
_insist that I understand the Bible better than you.
(check all that apply)
Well there you have it, new trolls. I suppose with all the time this form has saved you, you'll be able to spend more time doing the things that really matter to you, like getting high, downloading pornography, and listening to NPR.
YOU'RE WELCOME!
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