If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

[Faith_Machine]

I've been focusing on Luke 17:5-6 lately, which, of course, states the following:

And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.

And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.

I thought I'd attempt to measure my faith by issuing commands to plants, but out of humility, I decided to start small, merely ordering a common California poppy in my back yard to uproot itself and move a few inches closer to my baptismal hot tub.

Sadly, I've had no luck.

Thinking that perhaps the very problem was that I didn't have enough faith to start big, I then drove to Muir Woods and demanded that at least one old growth redwood depart its home and take up residence in the Pacific Ocean.

The trees just stood there, towering over me, silently mocking my faith, or perhaps mocking God.




Am I not a good Christian, or do you think the vegetation could be possessed? If so, doesn't Jesus give me the authority to cast demons out of trees, or does that only apply to casting them out of humans?

[James Hutchins]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

Plants are like really dumb retards. They give the term 'slow' a brand new meaning'

To get them to do what you want takes a lot of time and patience. Or you can use my method which is to force them to do what I want. It is for thier own good.

Just like Satan constantly attacks the paint on my home, Jesus works with me in growing things.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

While Brother James is right that plants are idiots, I also think that a mere forum member lacks enough faith to make a tree uproot itself by definition. The Apostles had faith IN SPADES and I don't think it's mentioned anywhere in the Bible that even THEY could make plants do their bidding.

Only Jesus had ultimate dominion over plants, and even He hardly ever used it. He did curse that fig tree though, for daring to not have any figs on it when Jesus was huingry.

And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves;

And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple.

And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves.

And the scribes and chief priests heard it, and sought how they might destroy him: for they feared him, because all the people was astonished at his doctrine.

And when even was come, he went out of the city.

And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.

[Felicity]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

My plants always do what I want. I think you have to pray harder!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

You should always speak to your plants. I am told that this is very common in England, where Charles, Prince of England, does this regularly and being as he is the male heir, all Brits will do the same. (And Charles at least professes that he is Godly because his mother, Good Queen Bess, is the chief Anglican't):

Charles also talks about speaking with the trees and plants in his garden.

"I happily talk to the plants and trees, and listen to them. I think it's absolutely crucial," the prince says. "Everything I've done here, it's like almost with your children. Every tree has a meaning for me."

Although I suppose he talks to them in sorrow about that most crushing and final defeat by Americans back in the 18th century, he must also speak to them about God and tell them what is right and how they should grow.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

Well friends, I am pleased to announce that my experiments have been successful, and I now have scientifically repeatable proof of the power of faith!

Submitted for your consideration are the following photos from my back yard.

In this first image, we see some plants as they appeared at the beginning of this exercise, back in May of last year. The plant in the foreground is one of the plants I prayerfully commanded, while the plants in the background belong to a control group, over which I did not pray. You will note that all of the plants have a very upright orientation:



In this next photo, snapped just two months later, you can see that while the plants in the control group remain upright, the one in the foreground that I prayed over and issued commands to is now exhibiting a pronounced seaward slant!



And in this final photograph, taken less than a week ago, you can see that the plant in the foreground is practically uprooting itself as it strains and yearns to obey my command that it leave my garden and go find purchase in the Pacific ocean! I almost feel sorry for the poor thing.



I am very interested in getting somebody from the news media and the scientific community out here to document this. I don't generally trust journalists or scientists, though. If anybody here has any connections in either field, perhaps you could help me out and make the necessary introductions?

Thanks!

[Victorious_One]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

Beautiful plants, what kind if you don't mind, I would love to plant those!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: If plants disobey my commands, does this mean I lack faith?

Beats me. I don't generally take much of an interest in plants. I don't like eating them, and I don't like them mocking God by failing to obey me!