I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Friends, one of the perks of living at the Whitford estate is that we have two swimming pools, one indoor and one outdoor, so no matter the weather Jesus blesses us with, we can enjoy a pleasant swim.
Well, today I decided to go for a dip in our indoor pool, but I did so too soon after eating breakfast. Barely minutes into water I started cramping up. The pain was unbearable and I found myself sinking like a rock!
Here's the interesting part - if evolution were true, I would have started sprouting gills and been able to breathe water, but THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! I found myself starting to drown!
But you know what did work? PRAYER! As water was rushing into my lungs, I quietly said a prayer and before I knew it, God sent our lifeguard - Gary - to dive into the pool and SAVE MY LIFE!

PROOF POSITIVE that evolution is FALSE and that God is REAL! GLORY UNTO TO GOD!

[Granyaski]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Thats not how evolution works. Evolution takes millions of years. As we have already been born we will not evolve.
I am not saying I think that evolution is true but as Christians we cannot prove something wrong with incorrect facts or we begin to slander our own name.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Thats not how evolution works. Evolution takes millions of years. As we have already been born we will not evolve.
I am not saying I think that evolution is true but as Christians we cannot prove something wrong with incorrect facts or we begin to slander our own name.

EVERYTHING about evolution is incorrect! "Scientists" can't just keep moving the goalposts every time they're proven wrong!

[Brother Dolf]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Hate to agree with granyaski as he truly is unsaved trash but i dont believe scientists ever said it took less than millions of years! God gave us his seed as a man gives his seed. and he let it grow and that indeed took millions of years!

[Granyaski]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

I agree they cannot move goalposts however they haven't on what you are reffering to.

Never has evolution meant that you will grow gills if you're drowning.

[computernerd]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

EVERYTHING about evolution is incorrect! "Scientists" can't just keep moving the goalposts every time they're proven wrong!

Ma'am, I don't think you quite understand how science works. Science seeks to prove what is unknown, and that involves a lot of experimentation and learning from past mistakes in order to come to a "scientific fact or law." It's not necessarily a witch-hunt to disprove the existence of God. A good number of famous scientists were themselves Christians.

Also, I would ask you this:

If God is powerful and intelligent enough to create the universe in six days, isn't He also powerful and intelligent enough to spawn the universe from a big bang and thus start a whole big series of events?

I mean, and this is a long-shot, it even says in the Bible that animals existed before man did. So, you never know

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

it even says in the Bible that animals existed before man did.

At least you're agreeing that the Bible is a true source of knowledge.

But if you all are going to argue against facts, you really need to avoid such laughable claims as "millions of years"! The world is no more than 6000-10,000 years old! Ergo, if "evolution" is real, it needs to act FAST, not slowly over "millions of years"!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

HOGWASH

LONGER AND HARDER TO FOLLOW HOGWASH

Look you unsaved retards, the earth is far less than 10,000 years old, so obviously this EVOLUTION that you mention is impossible if it, as you claim, takes millions of years. Way to go dumdums! You just disproved your own arguments!

[computernerd]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

But how do you know that the earth is, in fact, as old as you claim? The Bible does not give a specific date, and Genesis 1:1 was not written personally by God, like in the New Testament where they were physical accounts of Jesus' words.

IMO, how God created the universe, whether in six-days or 4-billion years, is spiritually irrelevant.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

I live in my mother's basement and eat cheetos and drink Mountain Dew Code RED all day long. Between masturbation sessions and video gaming, I read Wikipedia and the Huffington Post so I sound informed. I'm a morbidly obese, diabetic virgin destined to die alone and afraid.

There, I fixed that post for you. Enjoy Hell you geek loser!

[James Hutchins]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Proof again, of the power of Prayer

[Cursed]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

I would have prayed to GOD to take me into heaven right then and there!

Just think, you could be sitting on Jesus' lap right now eating some delicious Heavenly ice cream. He'd be stroking your hair and you'd both be chuckling and snuggling and eating ice cream and happy and the temperature would be just right you'd be all cozy with a full belly and just feeling perfect, not an ache or an itch anywhere, everything is just right.

And just when you think things couldn't get any better, Jesus would point down, and you'd realize if you wanted to you could focus your eyes and you could see Hell and all of the sinners burning in the lake of fire. You follow Jesus' finger and realize he's pointing to the girl who broke your heart in seventh grade, and she's burning in Hell and screaming and she can see you too and she holds out her twisted, melting hands and begs you for just a drop of water wailing that she'll do anything for just a drop of water and you watch her for a moment and then you look at Jesus and He looks at you and both of you burst out laughing.

I can't wait!

[Daider]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Thank you people from the best laughs of the day. I have never seen so much fanaticism about evolution vs bible.

To the original problem. God didn't put the life guard there, the people who own the pool did. He would have saved you even if you weren't Christian.

Second, like many others have pointed out, evolution is not instant. It takes time, generations as those who are more fit move their genes along the line.

And Cursed, I don't think Jesus would do that. According to bible we don't get to Heaven until Apocalypse. And then Jesus would be the last person to start showing hell and the people there for you to mock. People like you make Jesus sad.

[Valiant Effort]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Okay, all well and good. This just proved Darwinism, the strong survive. Obviously you were not '' strong '' enough and thus you got killed. Its a shame a strong man did save you because he messed up the Darwinism part of it. Oh well. Also evolution took years, its not like your dad was a monkey.
Although with your IQ I think he might have been though.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I nearly drowned today - AND PROVED EVOLUTION FALSE!

Okay, all well and good. This just proved Darwinism, the strong survive. Obviously you were not '' strong '' enough and thus you got killed. Its a shame a strong man did save you because he messed up the Darwinism part of it. Oh well. Also evolution took years, its not like your dad was a monkey.
Although with your IQ I think he might have been though.

Here we see just how rude atheists can be.

How can he say there was a lack of strength when the power of prayer shone through like a beacon!

It's kind of him to acknowledge a lack of descent from monkeys, though.