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The recently formed Anti-Sodomy Society (A.S.S.), led by the manly anti-sodomy crusader Billy Bob Jenkins has called upon the members of A.S.S. to undertake their first serious mission.
Objective:
To save otherwise unrepentant sodomites from the homogay deathstyle.
Equipment:
white vans with tinted windows, queer outfits, bleach, 9mm pistol.
Operational Parameters:
We must go deep cover, seeking out sodomy where it is most fertile (if sodomy can be called "fertile"). Namely, in gay bars across Iowa, America, and the world. We must go to the places where sodomy is most widely solicited. That means truck stops, bars, and other stomping grounds of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community (that's right: FAGGOTS). Once we are there we must get as close to sodomy and anal sex as possible, by dancing to house music until we are hot and sweaty, propositioning homosexuals, getting them drunk, and ultimately inviting them back to motel rooms where they will be helpless to receive the Word of God as True Christian™ Men and Women reveal themselves to be Warriors of God and anoint them with the ointment of salvation, instead of vile bodily fluids as they expected. We will continue preaching the Word of God until the sun rises. Then we will release the bewildered homosexual back into the wild.
Potential Hazards:
1. AIDS.
Expect every sodomite you see to have the AIDS virus. You will be risking your lives to spread the Word of God in these situations, men. In the event of contamination, we will have bleach to decontaminate our soldiers in the field using bleach.
2. Rape.
Expect every sodomite you see to be an experienced rapist. Many sodomites are into "orgasm denial", and will remain patient for extended periods of time while the stage is set for the Word of God to be preached. Other sodomites will attempt to drug True Christians™, drill holes into our heads, and fill the holes with formaldehyde turning us into zombie sex slaves. If a sodomite attempts such action, shoot him or her with the 9mm. It is self defense and well within the demands of secular law and the KJV Bible.
3. Scat Play
Expect every sodomite you meet to fling feces at the first opportunity. If you follow a sodomite into the restroom to preach to him or her, be ready to duck.
To Ex-Gay True Christian™ members of A.S.S.:
Billy Bob considers you a Special Operations Force capable of penetrating deepest into the strongholds of sodomy. You are the most integral component of the A.S.S. contingent, Billy Bob's Lieutenants and cadre. Your job will be to train other True Christians™ in the ways of sodomites so that they can defilade deeper and closer to their sodomite targets than they otherwise would be capable.
All:
Please post debriefings of all deep cover sodomy operations in this thread. Emphasize details surrounding the salvation of sodomites and how they were brought to Jesus!
Warfaces everyone!
Objective:
To save otherwise unrepentant sodomites from the homogay deathstyle.
Equipment:
white vans with tinted windows, queer outfits, bleach, 9mm pistol.
Operational Parameters:
We must go deep cover, seeking out sodomy where it is most fertile (if sodomy can be called "fertile"). Namely, in gay bars across Iowa, America, and the world. We must go to the places where sodomy is most widely solicited. That means truck stops, bars, and other stomping grounds of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community (that's right: FAGGOTS). Once we are there we must get as close to sodomy and anal sex as possible, by dancing to house music until we are hot and sweaty, propositioning homosexuals, getting them drunk, and ultimately inviting them back to motel rooms where they will be helpless to receive the Word of God as True Christian™ Men and Women reveal themselves to be Warriors of God and anoint them with the ointment of salvation, instead of vile bodily fluids as they expected. We will continue preaching the Word of God until the sun rises. Then we will release the bewildered homosexual back into the wild.
Potential Hazards:
1. AIDS.
Expect every sodomite you see to have the AIDS virus. You will be risking your lives to spread the Word of God in these situations, men. In the event of contamination, we will have bleach to decontaminate our soldiers in the field using bleach.
2. Rape.
Expect every sodomite you see to be an experienced rapist. Many sodomites are into "orgasm denial", and will remain patient for extended periods of time while the stage is set for the Word of God to be preached. Other sodomites will attempt to drug True Christians™, drill holes into our heads, and fill the holes with formaldehyde turning us into zombie sex slaves. If a sodomite attempts such action, shoot him or her with the 9mm. It is self defense and well within the demands of secular law and the KJV Bible.
3. Scat Play
Expect every sodomite you meet to fling feces at the first opportunity. If you follow a sodomite into the restroom to preach to him or her, be ready to duck.
To Ex-Gay True Christian™ members of A.S.S.:
Billy Bob considers you a Special Operations Force capable of penetrating deepest into the strongholds of sodomy. You are the most integral component of the A.S.S. contingent, Billy Bob's Lieutenants and cadre. Your job will be to train other True Christians™ in the ways of sodomites so that they can defilade deeper and closer to their sodomite targets than they otherwise would be capable.
All:
Please post debriefings of all deep cover sodomy operations in this thread. Emphasize details surrounding the salvation of sodomites and how they were brought to Jesus!
Warfaces everyone!
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