X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 5
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
  • #1

    2011 Witch Hunt!

    Guess what TIME it is!

    Yes, Folks it's that time of year again!

    I'm sure you all remember the rules, but I'll list them again for the new folks.

    1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.

    2. Severely maiming will get you points, but it's not as good as a kill.

    You will need a permit, they are now available in the Church Lobby. The cost is $4.25. If you are not able to afford the cost of a Witch Hunting Permit, please fill out a "Hardship" Form available from a Pastor and a permit will be provided for you free of charge.

    Winners will receive the coveted 2011 Witch Hunt Award, dinner for 4 at the Olive Garden, a gun of his/her choice from Bob4God's Gun World and a leather bound, over-sized KJV1611 Bible.

    Now get out there and get us some witches!

    Be GODLY, be good and most importantly HAVE FUN!

    Post your results here!!!
    Attached Files
    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
    Tags: halloween = helloween
  • #2
    Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

    I killed 2 witches with my Hummer just on my way to the hunting grounds already! I am sure like every year I will be the best non-Pastor in this competition.
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

      It wouldn’t be fair if I wouldn’t get some extra bonus points for ears of this bitch witch :

      Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


      ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

        There was some question about coven baiting for them last year, has that been resolved? I lost 3 due to disqualification and I really don't want that to happen again.
        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          I killed 2 witches with my Hummer just on my way to the hunting grounds already! I am sure like every year I will be the best non-Pastor in this competition.
          No doubt about it, you are the best witch sniffer at Landover.
          The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

            Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
            ...WinnersPastor Zeke will receive the coveted 2011 Witch Hunt Award...
            FTFY.

            ...a gun of his/her choice...
            Someone here would let his wife choose her own gun? Daisy, sometimes you crack me up.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
              I killed 2 witches with my Hummer just on my way to the hunting grounds already! ...
              Wait… my wife just complained how her mother doesn’t answer her phone; good, since their yapping cost me a fortune. Now, after reading your post and since my mother-in-law entirely fits to description, I hope for the best. I might owe you a beer. Okay, two beers; I should show some respect to my in-laws, shouldn’t I?

              Dear brothers and sisters, don’t ever misunderestimate the power of prayer!

              YiC, DUH
              Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


              ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

                Have you managed to capture J.K Rowling for the witch hunt this year?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: 2011 Wtich Hunt!

                  Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                  Someone here would let his wife choose her own gun? Daisy, sometimes you crack me up.
                  The wife would ask her husband for permission first of course. Not all wives should have guns though. I tried it once with my own wife but she accidentally shot me 5 times in just a few minutes so I decided guns are not really her thing. Others like Sister Talitha can get any gun up and have it firing in no time.

                  Originally posted by Proud Faroese View Post
                  Have you managed to capture J.K Rowling for the witch hunt this year?
                  I got her last year, but her family keeps using old video footage to pretend she is still alive. As if no one would notice she stopped writing books.
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                    I've already got 3 in the bag!
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                      Quick question; Would Stephanie Meyer count as a witch? I believe I might have gotten her, but I'm unsure if she counts? Father says she would; after all he did go with me as I got her.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                        Originally posted by JessicaLovesGod! View Post
                        Quick question; Would Stephanie Meyer count as a witch? I believe I might have gotten her, but I'm unsure if she counts? Father says she would; after all he did go with me as I got her.
                        She is a mormon, and a witch, that would make her twice evil!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          I've already got 3 in the bag!
                          Pastor Zeke Had you gotten your ''2011 Witch Tag'' before these 3 were bagged? Nice pick up either way.
                          sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                          Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                          Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                          Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                            Originally posted by Proud Faroese View Post
                            She is a mormon, and a witch, that would make her twice evil!
                            Stephanie Meyer is the sass tongued daughter of the arch Atheist PZ Meyers (otherwise known as Richard Dawkin's cabana boy) To show you how vile atheists are to each other Meyers tried to sell Stephanie on the bridal market and received no buyers (Gee PZ, I can't imagine why one one would wed you boomerang brat when she chants "death to all male oppressors!" every day)

                            Stephanie counts as a witch since she is into nature worship - biology.

                            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                            Hot Must ReadThreads!


                            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: 2011 Witch Hunt!

                              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                              Stephanie Meyer is the sass tongued daughter of the arch Atheist PZ Meyers (otherwise known as Richard Dawkin's cabana boy) To show you how vile atheists are to each other Meyers tried to sell Stephanie on the bridal market and received no buyers (Gee PZ, I can't imagine why one one would wed you boomerang brat when she chants "death to all male oppressors!" every day)

                              Stephanie counts as a witch since she is into nature worship - biology.

                              In that case; I have gotten one witch so far! But I have to check my trap later to see if I got more! This witch hunting is quite fun, AND we get to rid the world of that awful scum!

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
                              Working...
                              X