HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

[Mistress Cookie]

Does anyone have a copy of this book? I think it was removed from the shelves when the library was "rehabbed" and moved over to the church.
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HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD
As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head. He's been wandering around the street muttering, and has been rendered by the doctors retarded.

I'm worried that Jesus was kicked out of his head, too. How do we help the retarded person to know God™....and does God™ even want to know him?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Anyone who is predestinated to receive the Good News of God's saving grace will be able to receive it:

Romans 8:28-30: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Therefore, as for those who cannot receive it, the less said, the better.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Seems as it Jesus decided this fella needed a kick in the head.

Is he a better person now he drools in his soup?

Jesus fills me with His love!
Posted via Mobile Device

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Leviticus 21:16-23

King James Version (KJV)

16And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
17Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
18For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
19Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
20Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
21No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
22He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy.
23Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them.

It is clear from the above scripture that God is not a big fan of the handicapped. This stands to reason, as He is responsible for our health in the first place, and so must have stricken the handicapped with their respective disabilities.

It is apparent from the following verse in Exodus that the Lord would heal the retarded, if only they would follow His commandments.

Exodus 15:26

King James Version (KJV)

26And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Since God has never healed a retarded person before, it is probably because they are incapable of comprehending the infinite value of Jesus' temporary sacrifice. This stands to reason as well, as they are not allowed in church.

So, it seems to me that if you are able to save the retard's soul without letting him, or it, profane the sanctuary of our Godly church, this would not violate any of God's commandments. However, it is most definitely a waste of time. When God makes someone a retard, it is for eternity.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

So, it seems to me that if you are able to save the retard's soul without letting him, or it, profane the sanctuary of our Godly church, this would not violate any of God's commandments. However, it is most definitely a waste of time. When God makes someone a retard, it is for eternity.

He was a very nice boy at one time. He'd always drag everyone's trash cans out to the street on Wednesday mornings before he went to school, to save everyone the trouble.

Maybe I'm being "too emotional" about it, but it would be nice if someone could help him accept Jesus again, so he can go to Heaven™. And it would comfort his family to know they haven't completely lost him forever.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

He was a very nice boy at one time. He'd always drag everyone's trash cans out to the street on Wednesday mornings before he went to school, to save everyone the trouble.

I'm sure Jeffrey Dahmer was a nice boy in his youth, too. God is sovereign. He knows what this boy would have grown up to do. I'm just thinking out loud, but perhaps God knew that this boy would have grown up to choose the homosexual lifestyle and prey on other boys, thus distracting them from the true gospel message and their hope for salvation.

You're heart is so big, Mistress, but God is bigger. I wouldn't worry another minute about this.

[Wide-Open]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Maybe I'm being "too emotional" about it, but it would be nice if someone could help him accept Jesus again, so he can go to Heaven™. And it would comfort his family to know they haven't completely lost him forever.

I feel your pain Sister, it's all rather tragical, but, let's face it, the kid is never going to make it. I think the most decent thing to do - as our compassion has no bounds - is to stone it to death.

I have it from good sources that it makes rather funny noises, grunts, sudden uncontrolled movements, and all this reeks of sorcery. As God commands us, surely it should be put to death.

I know we have to obey secular law, but then again, Freehold is Freehold.

Maybe the Mayor should have a final word about this, but killing the spastic may comfort his family even more, as they would no longer have to wonder "Will it? Will it?"

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

I wouldn't let that freak anywhere NEAR my church. I see enough retardeds at the WalMart.

No thanks.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[James Hutchins]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Have you spoken to Pastor Ezekiel about him? I know he often takes a special interest in young boys and exposing Gods Love to them. I know mentioning money is crass but a child has a lot of needs during these sometimes month long laying of hands. Could you please check the child's parents tithing status?
If it turns out the parents are unwilling to accommodate the child's special needs, I am willing to open my heart and have the child come to the plantation for the season. Perhaps a few months under Gods bright Sun hoeing ditches and sorting rocks may show the boy the Power of Jesus.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD
As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head.

Yes, I have heard this tale. But God does not smite people with retardation for riding horses with their pants on. He does, however, hate anal sex and bestiality. I think I know what happened.

That retard was never a TRUE Christian(tm)!

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

I'm sure Jeffrey Dahmer was a nice boy in his youth, too. God is sovereign. He knows what this boy would have grown up to do. I'm just thinking out loud, but perhaps God knew that this boy would have grown up to choose the homosexual lifestyle and prey on other boys, thus distracting them from the true gospel message and their hope for salvation.

That makes sense. Maybe I can pay a call on the boy's mother and explain this "up side" of it all.

She's taken to her bed over this, I hear, and would surely appreciate the company.

[John Creeser]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Good Lord, find that horse and shoot it immediately!!

I had no idea animals could spread the Down Sindrome virus!! I only thought you could get the retard from other retardeds

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?.

That is a good point. Even if he does not make full recovery, I think you are doing important work here. We have to remember that as Christian we should show some compassion towards these gimps. If he stays as he is, it is kind that he and any other retard fully understands that they are going to hell for all eternity because of the sins of their own or sins of their parents.

Books like HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD sure are good tools to make these gimps understand that they are damned.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Sister Cookie, I am already working with the youngster in my private study on Saturday afternoons. We are focusing on oral and facial muscle exercises to improve his speech, and repetitive motion calisthenics for motor skill and coordination rehabilitation.

Sadly, there has been no improvement as of yet, but I still have hope through the power of Jesus Christ in prayer, and we will continue our sessions for the time being. May he one day again praise our Lord at the top of his young voice.

In Christ