The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!

MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-20-2012, 02:47 PM
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Posts: 579
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Unhappy Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children.

Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites.

Or they are murderers.

Then there are married women, which by Biblical Law I am free to sample, but who wants a filthy adulteress?

As for divorced women, well, same thing (Matthew 19:9).

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

Sighhhhhh. No wonder so many men are choosing to become gay. It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.
__________________
Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

P.S. Quit asking us dumb questions, USE THE SEARCH ENGINE FIRST!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 04-21-2012 at 10:46 PM. Reason: fixed the link
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-21-2012, 08:45 PM
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: H 47; L 31
Posts: 2,124
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children.

Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites.

Or they are murderers.

Then there are married women, which by Biblical Law I am free to sample, but who wants a filthy adulteress?

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

Sighhhhhh. No wonder so many men are choosing to become gay. It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.


Brother, you just need to pray harder. Nothing is impossible with God!



Platitudenally Yours,

Handmaiden
__________________
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-22-2012, 03:57 PM
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,944
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Stand your ground soldier, help is on the way:

__________________
Proud supporter of Anyone But Obama For President/Exorcist-in-chief 2016! REGISTER TO VOTE!

Hey Kids! Find out what happens to children who read Harry Potter!

Got questions? USE OUR SEARCH ENGINE HERE!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-02-2012, 03:34 PM
Trent Harvey, Jr.'s Avatar
Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Parking Lot Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Porn Resistant Eats the Most Pork True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
Posts: 579
Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Trent Harvey, Jr. is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

__________________
Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
Goal:
$500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

P.S. Quit asking us dumb questions, USE THE SEARCH ENGINE FIRST!

True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-02-2012, 03:44 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,555
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:
Sorry Trent, did you just say look the ideal woman should like a Barbary Coast hooker?

Brother Harvey,

You need to stop looking at these pop culture fantasy and start looking here in Freehold. There is many a Baptist Trophy wife to be found who are just ripe for the picking. Heck, remember Brother Colemen last Sunday saying his daughter Christy was a field ripe for the planting after Security caught her in one of the church supply cabinets with an industrial vacuum cleaner?
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-04-2012, 01:43 AM
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Posts: 14,063
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Heck, remember Brother Colemen last Sunday saying his daughter Christy was a field ripe for the planting after Security caught her in one of the church supply cabinets with an industrial vacuum cleaner?
I was wondering how Jose got into that part of the church, and why he wasn't off cleaning industrial vacuums as he was hired to do.
__________________
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-04-2012, 01:36 PM
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Yarra Valley
Posts: 5,981
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post

Women who want to get married before they have sex are always either frigid, lesbians, or gold diggers who are selling their bodies like whores.

Or they are willing to give a test drive, but those ones are always whores who take birth control pills, which murder "fertilized eggs" aka children. Or they go without birth control, but then they become single mothers, who either abandon their children to steal men's jobs, or are undignified, nonworking parasites. Or they are murderers.

And of course this goes without saying: all women these days are impossible to please.

..It's a miracle that so many of us keep choosing to be straight.
I'm not impossible

if only you were aged 100 and lived in Washington state..
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-08-2012, 02:15 PM
Mr.Common Sense's Avatar
Mr.Common Sense Mr.Common Sense is offline
Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Eurotrash dummy
Posts: 75
Mr.Common Sense is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Mr.Common Sense is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Mr.Common Sense is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Mr.Common Sense is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

I wouldn't talk about the fat thing mate.
__________________
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:55 AM
johnsmith111's Avatar
johnsmith111 johnsmith111 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Cherry-picker 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: spanking my monkey in Jew York City
Posts: 47
johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.johnsmith111 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

i don't see a woman in sight, all these women are to hard to get.... time to pull out the elastrator.

Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who were born........blah blah blah you get the point.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:12 AM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

I know this is going to sound "uppity" but perhaps it has to do with our communities lack of regard for girls.

Yes I realize that our quivers should be full of young men to be warriors for Christ, however, these young men will need young women to marry, and would you prefer that he marries a well raised True Christian© girl who understands her role? Or should he marry some girl he meets in a secular situation. We've all seen what a hassle that brings into our communities.

Personally, I've given birth to two girls (although both being under the age of 2 are probably too young for Brother Harvey).
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-28-2013, 10:49 AM
Sarah Marks Sarah Marks is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 12
Sarah Marks is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
And women are so fat these days. Or they're some kind of bodybuilding bulldyke or vegetarian freak. A lady is supposed to look like this:

Brother Harvey, This is simply unrealistic. For one, she is wearing pants, and as I was raised, a true lady wears dresses and skirts, never pants. Secondly, the corset she is wearing cinches her waist, yes, but not the rest of her. This makes her a bit unproportional. Lastly, surely you wouldn't want your future wife to show herself of in tight fitting clothing, clad like a common whore.
__________________
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-28-2013, 01:32 PM
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Posts: 17,531
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Common Sense View Post
I wouldn't talk about the fat thing mate.
Why not? The Bible clearly states that being fat is evil (Luke 7:34, Matthew 11:19).

My wife became fat during several of her pregnancies and I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.
__________________
The Christian guide to TORTURING your children
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-28-2013, 05:09 PM
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is online now
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 12,708
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.
Indeed! We serve a supernatural, omnipotent God. I would never insult Him by offending Him with flab. Why, I would sooner dunk the Christ Child in toilet water and give Him a Holy Swirly than to get fat.
__________________
.



Proud Quiver Full Mommy To Many

(Psalm 127:3-5)


Open Invitation To Atheists: 5 Reasons To Join the Church Repent, and join us today!
Reasons To Believe (1 Peter 3:15) Logical And practical answers to a common question
Autism - the New Gay Atheists conduct a nation-wide social experiment with children - Autism.
The Truth About New Atheism Why Atheism is a Religion, And New Atheism Is Evil
Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life Ladies, share your recipes here for the fetal "Bread Of Life" (John 6:35)
Does God Love Me? A Biblical explanation of who God loves!



Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:57 AM
JustBeatMe's Avatar
JustBeatMe JustBeatMe is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Doing satan's bidding in godless europistan
Posts: 73
JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
My wife became fat during several of her pregnancies and I pointed out her being a fat sinner each and every day until she stopped insulting God by being fat.
She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???

Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 02-25-2013, 09:09 AM
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Posts: 13,245
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeatIt View Post
She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???

Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you
The holy bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman are not something to be joked about.



YiC,

Zech
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:14 PM
JustBeatMe's Avatar
JustBeatMe JustBeatMe is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Doing satan's bidding in godless europistan
Posts: 73
JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
The holy bonds of matrimony between a man and a woman are not something to be joked about.



YiC,

Zech
A matrimony is with love and respect, I don't think something made without both of them is considered holy. I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:21 PM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeatIt View Post
She gives you children and you dare to say she's a sinner???
Psalm 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Quote:
Your mother should be ashamed of you, and I hope your wife leaves you
I'm sorry, is this the sanctity of marriage you were speaking about in your other post? You know where you stated that marriage is such a beautiful thing? So it's only a beautiful thing while it's smooth running, as soon as the waters get a bit rough, the woman should pack up and leave?


Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:24 PM
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
Posts: 9,279
BelieverInGod is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeatIt View Post
A matrimony is with love and respect, I don't think something made without both of them is considered holy. I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one
**sigh**

Another one who has created a god in their own image

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The REAL GOD, disagrees with you, sunshine.
__________________
Drama queen
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-25-2013, 08:27 PM
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: chillin' in the spring (c'mon sunshine)
Posts: 8,291
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustBeatIt View Post
...I believe God understand when a matrimony don't work and finally ends but when is for REAL reasons, like this one
Why don't you read the Bible to find out what God really thinks, instead of making it up and trying to entice the True Christians™ to follow your false god (being you)?

Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
__________________
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;" The Bible confounds me; does that mean...
“A universe simple enough to be understood is too simple to produce a mind capable of understanding it.” — John David Barrow, FRS
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-25-2013, 10:03 PM
JustBeatMe's Avatar
JustBeatMe JustBeatMe is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Doing satan's bidding in godless europistan
Posts: 73
JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JustBeatMe is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Why are there no good ladies anymore?!?

If the Bible say you should run naked in the streets, would you do it?

How do you know the whole book was written just with the words of God? What if some parts where made with devilish inspiration?

Jeremiah 50:21-22 NLT: "Go up, my warriors, against the land of Merathaim and against the people of Pekod. Yes, march against Babylon, the land of rebels, a land that I will judge! Pursue, kill, and completely destroy them, as I have commanded you," says the LORD. "Let the battle cry be heard in the land, a shout of great destruction".

What kind of good and benevolent God say that? That's not God but the Devil disguised as our Lord
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
baby murder, birth control, dignity, gold diggers, ladies, lesbians, single, women

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:32 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved