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  • TC Patriot
    AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2008
    • 1060

    #1

    Bears Mangle Rude Children

    And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. Kings 2:24

    I rejoice in God's righteous judgment. These little whipper snappers were making fun of Elisha's bald head. God had the bears kill them in the way bears kill

    Jesus loves Dick



    Cheney/Palin 2012
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22895

      #3
      Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

      Did I miss something in the film? Where was the bit about the children being torn to pieces in a Godly bloodbath? Where's the point in this piece of history without it? Children will think that they can be rude to prophets and get away with it by outrunning a bear inspired by God!

      (The narrator's voice is a little strange too... I have my suspicions...)
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • The most pathetic dopehead
        Unsaved trash
        • Oct 2008
        • 30

        #4
        Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

        Bears kill each other so meh.
        Barack Obama will be president in 2008 and 2012!

        Comment

        • Heath N. Basher
          Unsaved trash
          • Oct 2008
          • 13

          #5
          Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

          God is good at killing those weakling sinners and hedonists who royally piss Him off! A quick recap:

          God destroyed the entire world population, except Noah and seven others, when he caused the great flood (Gen. 6:7).

          God killed all the people in Sodom and Gomorrah when he rained fire and brimstone. Only Lot and his daughters escaped (Gen. 19:24-25).

          God slew Er for being wicked (Gen. 38:7).

          God slew Onan for not producing offspring with his widowed sister-in-law (Gen. 38:9-10).

          God killed all the firstborn of Egypt, and Pharaoh and his soldiers that pursued Israel into the Red Sea (Ex. 12:29; 14:16-19, 24-27).

          Fire from the Lord devoured Nadab and Abihu when they offered strange fire (Lev. 10:1-2).

          Korah, his family, and all his men were swallowed up by the earth, and 250 other men were consumed by fire from the Lord because they sought the priesthood beyond the duties they already had (Num. 16:1-35).

          When Israel murmured about the above incident, the Lord killed 14,700 more people with a plague (Num. 16:41-50).

          The Lord killed an unknown number of Amorites battling against Israel by casting down great hailstones from heaven (Josh. 10:8-14).

          God killed Uzzah for touching the ark of God (2 Sam. 6:6-7).

          The Lord sent a pestilence upon Israel, killing 70,000 people, because David numbered Israel and Judah (2 Sam. 24:1-15).

          God killed 102 soldiers by sending fire down from heaven when they came to capture Elijah (2 Kings 1:10, 12).

          Bears tore up 42 children when Elisha cursed them in God's name for making fun of his bald head (2 Kings 2:23-24).
          Yea! He's very efficient when He sets his mind to it. So let that be a lesson to all who are damned, you know who you are.

          Down on your knees, sinner, REPENT!!!
          "And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the Lord: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them."—Jeremiah 13:14.

          Translation: Kill them all and let God sort them out!

          Comment

          • Rev. M. Rodimer
            Honorary True Christian™
            Forum Member
            • May 2008
            • 13996

            #6
            Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

            Originally posted by Heath N. Basher View Post
            God is good at killing those weakling sinners and hedonists who royally piss Him off! A quick recap:



            Yea! He's very efficient when He sets his mind to it. So let that be a lesson to all who are damned, you know who you are.

            Down on your knees, sinner, REPENT!!!
            Your points are well made, Mr. Basher! Indeed, the Lord does on occasion destroy the heathens.

            Let us look to a certain tsunami, or perhaps a couple of well-known hurricanes, as examples of God washing away the unGodly.

            Praise!
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • H. Montague Worthington
              True Christian™ Entrepreneur
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 2716

              #7
              Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

              Nothing reminds me of God's love more than bears mauling children.

              Comment

              • Buckminster Carlson
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Oct 2008
                • 130

                #8
                Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

                Originally posted by Heath N. Basher View Post
                God is good at killing those weakling sinners and hedonists who royally piss Him off!
                I don't think you know the full capacity of God's rage. Did you know that God killed 2,391,421+ people in the Bible? That's just in the Bible. That doesn't count all the natural disasters and the like since. Even the atheists admit it's true.

                Comment

                • Brother Lasalite
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Nov 2008
                  • 2

                  #9
                  Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

                  that's a pretty convincing list both those men have, i think it proves that it is best to not piss of the almighty

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #10
                    Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

                    Originally posted by Brother Lasalite View Post
                    that's a pretty convincing list both those men have, i think it proves that it is best to not piss of the almighty
                    Sorry, but you have to be over 18 to post on God's favorite forum. You lied about your age to sneak in here, and God hates a liar.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Pater Doit
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Nov 2008
                      • 36

                      #11
                      Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Sorry, but you have to be over 18 to post on God's favorite forum. You lied about your age to sneak in here, and God hates a liar.
                      Well, I don't think, that 18 is a good age for a child to surf on the internet. My son e.g. won't use a computer, till he's 25.

                      God bless you,
                      Pater Doit
                      And Joschuah begot Jonah and Jonah begot Issiron and Issiron begot Aaron. So the Lord sent a great flood.

                      Comment

                      • Capt. Aaron Portway
                        One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
                        Salvation from Above
                        God's Favorite Pilot™
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2008
                        • 6309

                        #12
                        Re: Bears Mangle Rude Children

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Watered-down video about God's teaching style snipped
                        Not only did the narrator leave out the most important part of God's message, which is:

                        Making fun of bald men who talk to God will get you torn apart by the nearest wild animal.

                        He also changed "children" to "boys".

                        Sounds like something a Sodomite Pedo-Queer would do to me!
                        sigpic


                        Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                        God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                        Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

                        Comment

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