[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Have you had any strange desires to take vows of celibacy or to start making furniture lately?

Vows of celibacy.. now that is truly something extremely unnatural for women as their chance of Salvation lies in childbearing. (1 Timothy 2:15)

But then, a woman being a harlot, that's probably even worse:
Atleast one who has taken a vow of celibacy and is a virgin (ie a non-harlot), isn't damaged goods.


What about you Seeker, you aren't damaged goods, I hope? Or even worse, infertile?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

I just realized that I missed half of Seeker's original question. She asked what Jesus was doing in Hell for those three days.

Jesus went to Hell to to pay the price for our sins. Jesus's dying words were "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" He knew what was in store for him. He knew at that moment that He had become separated from God, and was being cast down into Hell.

My assumption is that He most likely spent those three days chained to a magma vent being sodomized by demons, so that I don't have to.

THANK YOU JESUS!

That leads to an interesting question, Pastor.

Were Jesus was in hell, would the Father care?

Would Jesus have been able to get a drop of water from Lazarus?

Those are interesting questions, Brother V.

Since Jesus wasn't in Heaven to wipe away his Father's tears, it could be that He was very sad. Maybe that's why Jesus got released from Hell after only three days, instead of the eternal sentence that everyone else gets.

Since Jesus IS God, I have to believe that his powers still work in Hell. If He can turn water into wine, then He can probably turn magma into cool, refreshing water.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Those are interesting questions, Brother V.

Since Jesus wasn't in Heaven to wipe away his Father's tears, it could be that He was very sad. Maybe that's why Jesus got released from Hell after only three days, instead of the eternal sentence that everyone else gets.

This leads to another question, when Jesus returned to heaven did Jesus help God forget that God sent Jesus to Hell? Or at lest did God forget the pain? Since God has perfect knowledge that means God has to remember the pain but since as God Jesus is all powerful Jesus could make God forget the pain of sending Jesus to hell.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

What about you Seeker, you aren't damaged goods, I hope? Or even worse, infertile?

Not even close. I have 10 children and plan on having more as the Good Lord wills. Every saturday night is the night to make babies. Sunday is the day to rest, so I think I am good in that department.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

This leads to another question, when Jesus returned to heaven did Jesus help God forget that God sent Jesus to Hell? Or at lest did God forget the pain? Since God has perfect knowledge that means God has to remember the pain but since as God Jesus is all powerful Jesus could make God forget the pain of sending Jesus to hell.

Or even easier he did not have to go through the pain at all, ya know, but he liked to make things difficult. He could have not set up Adam and Eve in the first place, drown the world when he got pissed and was sorry for his mistake creating us, and then have them multiply the earth back again through insest, just so thousands of years later - he finally realized he needed to show a little grace and mercy. Them lamb slaughters weren't good enough and striking down priest that messed up once was not working either. So that is when he sent Jesus.

But you know what the truth is..........is that he did not want to create robots because he was needy and wanted to feel love and have puppets to play with. So the next time someone wants to question his reasons for dying on the cross and going to hell for 3 days, you just tell them that it was God's perfect plan for us. That is Christian 101 and everybody should know this. It is just common sense and simple to understand. No need to question your faith so deep like that.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Jesus went to Hell to to pay the price for our sins. Jesus's dying words were "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" He knew what was in store for him. He knew at that moment that He had become separated from God, and was being cast down into Hell.

You know I forgot about that. That means he was doubting his own faith which I thought was a sin. And why did he think his own father did forsake him if all 3 of them got together in the first place to make this plan?

You know he could have called 10 thousand angels. But if he did we would all go to hell, even the elect. Then I do wonder if that did happen would he have a plan C ?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

I have no idea what any of you are talking about. Jesus went into Hell to recover some found Souls, but He was an observer, not a Participant. It is much like when you walk through an aquarium and watch the fish, or into a restaurant and watch the Lobsters in the tank staring at you. They know....they know. But they are in Lobster Hell and are doomed, while you are escorted to a nice table and given bread and wine, just as Jesus was when he toured Hell. He walked through cool hallways and pointed at the souls he wanted. Satan, having no power over Jesus, had to pluck them from the liquid magma and hand them over. Remember that the next time you eat Lobster. Remember that even AFTER Satan has cooked and eaten your soul, and picked at your brain with an iCulanibokola, JESUS can make him throw it all back up.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

With all due respect pastor Al, eating lobster is a sin. I thought the OT talked about them type of crustations or something like those things with claws.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

With all due respect pastor Al, eating lobster is a sin. I thought the OT talked about them type of crustations or something like those things with claws.

Of course it's a sin. You will never catch ME in a restaurant which serves fish with no scales.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Me either because I am a vegetarian. I want to be like umm..Daniel?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Me either because I am a vegetarian. I want to be like umm..Daniel?

I caught you in a lie. No vegetarian has ever had ten children and lived. You aren't fooling anyone, you know!

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

I caught you in a lie. No vegetarian has ever had ten children and lived. You aren't fooling anyone, you know!

Hmm? I tell the truth, could you please explain and by all means back this up with the word of God. Thanks. Is there something that says women can't have hundreds of kids not eating lobster?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Hmm? I tell the truth, could you please explain and by all means back this up with the word of God. Thanks. Is there something that says women can't have hundreds of kids not eating lobster?

Women must eat good red meat to have enough energy to pop out babies for JESUS. Everyone knows it. Vegetarian women are thin, pasty, sick-looking, lethatrgic, droopy and most are into some sort of witchcraft or paganism. On the other end of the spectrum are goths who are exactly the same except usually plump and chubby, have numerous body piercings, satanic tattoos and only eat fast food. The middle ground of evil is held by nuns, who are muddled and have no clue. Most of them are rug munchers are only joined a convent to practice their disgusting form of debauchery. Women who fit this category but are marginally better looking turn out like Lindsey, Britney (before she got drug-ugly), and similar. Paris Hilton used to be hellbound but was released to Landover for a small tithe and we turned her life around. We can perform miracles with JESUS' help, but you must tithe and grab a big steak off the BBQ a couple times a week.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Me either because I am a vegetarian. I want to be like umm..Daniel?

Jesus sees you worshiping your false pagan goddess HARLOT! REPENT before our loving Savior is forced to send a warrior angel guts you with a sword and leave you to bleed to death.

[Seeker]

Re: Did Jesus go to hell for 3 days

Judas Priest, I repent! I am off to eat me some cow and make more babies. I sure don't want to be compared to some pagan!