In yet another bizarre ritual, excited Catholics in the United Kingdom will have the opportunity to fondle the dismembered corpse of Therese of Lisieux.
Called “relics”, Therese’s thigh and foot bones (not sure if they’re left or right) will be paraded about the country, to 28 “centers of prayer”. These human remains are reputed to have the supernatural ability to promote reconciliation.
Therese, known as the “Little Flower of Jesus”, was a late 19th-century Carmelite nun. She died at the tender age of 24 in 1897.
Before her death, she wrote an account of her life, “Story of a Soul”. In it, she expressed her desire to “let fall from Heaven a shower of roses”.
Thigh and Foot are well-traveled, having been to nearly every Catholic-dominated country on the planet, and then some. In fact, in 2008, an unidentified relic — rumor has it that it was Pinky Toe, though Big Toe has tried to take credit — traveled into outer space on a NASA space shuttle Discovery mission.
Thigh and Foot have traveled many places, helping Catholics everywhere resolve their disputes. Thigh was instrumental in helping settle a dispute in the Phillippines in 2008, for example.
“I told them that Foot would come by and kick some sense into them if they didn’t shape up,” boasted Thigh.
Things haven’t always been so rosy for Thigh and Foot. On their 2002 joint peace brokering mission to Iraq, the dynamic duo found they’d met their match. “The Muslims just wouldn’t listen to us,” explained Thigh. “Foot even did a little soft-shoe to get them to open up, but they seemed not to get it. It’s as though only Catholics even care about us!”
Foot chimed in, “We were disappointed and wanted to keep trying, but the Vatican decided our services were needed elsewhere.”
Stay tuned as we follow the adventures of Thigh and Foot as they travel the wild and wacky United Kingdom, complete with their own traveling store.
Called “relics”, Therese’s thigh and foot bones (not sure if they’re left or right) will be paraded about the country, to 28 “centers of prayer”. These human remains are reputed to have the supernatural ability to promote reconciliation.
Therese, known as the “Little Flower of Jesus”, was a late 19th-century Carmelite nun. She died at the tender age of 24 in 1897.
Before her death, she wrote an account of her life, “Story of a Soul”. In it, she expressed her desire to “let fall from Heaven a shower of roses”.
Thigh and Foot are well-traveled, having been to nearly every Catholic-dominated country on the planet, and then some. In fact, in 2008, an unidentified relic — rumor has it that it was Pinky Toe, though Big Toe has tried to take credit — traveled into outer space on a NASA space shuttle Discovery mission.
Thigh and Foot have traveled many places, helping Catholics everywhere resolve their disputes. Thigh was instrumental in helping settle a dispute in the Phillippines in 2008, for example.
“I told them that Foot would come by and kick some sense into them if they didn’t shape up,” boasted Thigh.
Things haven’t always been so rosy for Thigh and Foot. On their 2002 joint peace brokering mission to Iraq, the dynamic duo found they’d met their match. “The Muslims just wouldn’t listen to us,” explained Thigh. “Foot even did a little soft-shoe to get them to open up, but they seemed not to get it. It’s as though only Catholics even care about us!”
Foot chimed in, “We were disappointed and wanted to keep trying, but the Vatican decided our services were needed elsewhere.”
Stay tuned as we follow the adventures of Thigh and Foot as they travel the wild and wacky United Kingdom, complete with their own traveling store.


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