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  • JennyD
    Honorary True Christian™
    Sweet Placid Sister
    Forum Member
    • Dec 2007
    • 9567

    #1

    Dismembered Corpse of St. Therese of Lisieux

    In yet another bizarre ritual, excited Catholics in the United Kingdom will have the opportunity to fondle the dismembered corpse of Therese of Lisieux.


    Called “relics”, Therese’s thigh and foot bones (not sure if they’re left or right) will be paraded about the country, to 28 “centers of prayer”. These human remains are reputed to have the supernatural ability to promote reconciliation.


    Therese, known as the “Little Flower of Jesus”, was a late 19th-century Carmelite nun. She died at the tender age of 24 in 1897.


    Before her death, she wrote an account of her life, “Story of a Soul”. In it, she expressed her desire to “let fall from Heaven a shower of roses”.


    Thigh and Foot are well-traveled, having been to nearly every Catholic-dominated country on the planet, and then some. In fact, in 2008, an unidentified relic — rumor has it that it was Pinky Toe, though Big Toe has tried to take credit — traveled into outer space on a NASA space shuttle Discovery mission.


    Thigh and Foot have traveled many places, helping Catholics everywhere resolve their disputes. Thigh was instrumental in helping settle a dispute in the Phillippines in 2008, for example.


    “I told them that Foot would come by and kick some sense into them if they didn’t shape up,” boasted Thigh.


    Things haven’t always been so rosy for Thigh and Foot. On their 2002 joint peace brokering mission to Iraq, the dynamic duo found they’d met their match. “The Muslims just wouldn’t listen to us,” explained Thigh. “Foot even did a little soft-shoe to get them to open up, but they seemed not to get it. It’s as though only Catholics even care about us!”


    Foot chimed in, “We were disappointed and wanted to keep trying, but the Vatican decided our services were needed elsewhere.”


    Stay tuned as we follow the adventures of Thigh and Foot as they travel the wild and wacky United Kingdom, complete with their own traveling store.
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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22895

    #2
    Re: Dismembered Corpse of St. Therese of Lisieux

    Originally posted by JennyD View Post
    In yet another bizarre ritual, excited Catholics in the United Kingdom will have the opportunity to fondle the dismembered corpse of Therese of Lisieux.


    Called “relics”, Therese’s thigh and foot bones (not sure if they’re left or right) will be paraded about the country, to 28 “centers of prayer”. These human remains are reputed to have the supernatural ability to promote reconciliation.
    [...]
    I remember taking issue with this claim and some drunken papist mick hit me.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: Dismembered Corpse of St. Therese of Lisieux

      More papist claptrap. I recall that they're still looking for the missing foreskin of Jesus.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Marshall
        Righteous and Patriotic
        Highest body count at the VFW
        True Christian™
        • Oct 2006
        • 3330

        #4
        Re: Dismembered Corpse of St. Therese of Lisieux

        Catholics are mentally disturbed.
        God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

        Comment

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