Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.

I feel sure it was Jesus who said “God helps them that help themselves.” And when it comes to sickness, then your first call should not be to God, who is very busy dealing with really important things, but to homeopathy.

Hopmeopathy is based on the sound scientific principle that molecules in water have memories and can thus change their consistency instantly and can be ordered to do exactly what you want them to do.

This principle is demonstrated in the Bible in several passages. The most famous is “Elisha and Case of the Lost Axhead":

2Ki:6:4: So he went with them. And when they came to Jordan, they cut down wood.
2Ki:6:5: But as one was felling a beam, the axe head fell into the water: and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed.
2Ki:6:6: And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast it in thither; and the iron did swim.

Now, if those of little faith try this, the axhead is not going to float, but it different for those who as spiritually high – the only rational explanations are

(i) the floatingness of the stick influenced the floatingness of the iron axhead or

(ii) that the water in the Jordan, in that spot, took on the specific gravity of mercury, upon which an iron axhead will float.

Bearing in mind we are talking homeopathy, it has to be the latter.

Now, having established the scientific basis, we look to practical uses in the modern world: Do you suffer from AIDS, Cancer, High Blood Pressure, growths in the bowels, scabs, etc?

The simple solution is to get a sample of your illness and put a tiny drop of it in water. The molecules of the evil stuff with then bend the molecules of the water. You then dilute the mixture. Each time that you do this, the molecules of water with memory tell the other molecules how to bend. Do this hundreds of time until all the bad stuff has gone and only the water is filled with molecules with memory.

You now have water with holes in it that are exactly the same shape as the molecules of the bad stuff. You drink this and all the bad stuff is caught in those holes and spaces – all you need then do is relieve yourself in private and all the bad stuff goes down the toilet – You’re cured.

How do we know this works? We’ve tested it on nigras in Africa. Here’s a rap song (with subtitles) that shows how it is a genuine Gift from God.

People with AIDS, Cancer, High Blood Pressure, growths in the bowels, scabs, don’t dance around singing the praises of the Lord, do they? -> They must be cured.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.

You now have water with holes in it that are exactly the same shape as the molecules of the bad stuff. You drink this and all the bad stuff is caught in those holes and spaces – all you need then do is relieve yourself in private and all the bad stuff goes down the toilet – You’re cured.

How do we know this works? We’ve tested it on nigras in Africa. Here’s a rap song (with subtitles) that shows how it is a genuine Gift from God.

Amen, Pastor! Recently I've begun to administer some homeopathy remedies to my husband who has recently started losing his hair. I'm not sure if my homeopath has created this remedy with a strand of Mr. Etheldreda's hair, or with a single flake of the dandruff I brought it, but I am confident it will work in time. I am so confident precisely because, as you say, homeopathy is a genuine Gift from God!

I know it a Gift from God because it is a truly miraculous form of alternative medicine! Only a true miracle could inspire the water to remember the important stuff, and ignore the many irrelevant impurities otherwise found in water. If homeopathy weren't truly God-Given, then memories of the contaminants that seep into the ground water, contaminants like road salt, gasoline, pesticides and more, would quickly wreak havoc on the innocent patient's health. Instead, we can trust homeopathy because God designed water to maintain only good memories. It's a miracle!

We know homeopathy is a genuine Gift of God also because while its existence precedes antibiotics, it comprehensively failed to treat infections in the pre-antibiotic era. This could only be due to God not wanting us to know about it at that moment in history. He clearly brought it to our attention in His Perfect Timing, like when antibiotics began to threaten the faith of millions of trusting Christians. Exorcisms have fallen out of favor, and so the Good Lord obviously prepared the way for homeopathy to comfort us. His Timing is no coincidence!

Homeopaths make pills by dropping a water remedy onto a sugar tablet and then drying it. How the information, previously stored in the water, is retained in the pill after the water has evaporated is nothing short of a miracle! This really is amazing when you stop to think about it! Surely there can be no doubt, homeopathy is a beautiful Gift from God! I almost feel the happy negro music in my own blood! How quaint they are, and I glorify God with them!

[Nobar King]

Re: Homeopathy – the Treatment that God Wants for You.

Homeopathagists should rejoice that the power of the Lord is behind them!