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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Like Monkeys Care

    Well, the latest scientifical lies are that monkeys care. That's right fellow True Christians™, the evilutionistas are working overtime in the ridiculous factory to convince us all that our relatives were chimpanzees.

    I for one, am not buying it. I've been to the zoo, and I've been to the ghetto, and I have yet to see any of them sharing a thing except fleas and vernearial diseases.

    Study shows monkeys experience joy of giving

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Monkeys can experience the joy of giving in much the same way as humans do, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.

    Tests in capuchin monkeys showed the animals consistently chose to share food with another monkey if given the option, suggesting they are capable of empathy, the team at the Yerkes Research Center at Emory University in Atlanta found.

    "They seem to care for the welfare of those they know," Frans de Waal, director of the Living Links Center at Yerkes, said in a statement.

    His team tested eight female brown capuchin monkeys in pairs. They could choose a token that gave only themselves a treat or an option that rewarded both of them, called a prosocial option.

    Either way, the first monkey got the same amount of food.

    "Subjects systematically favoured the prosocial option provided their partner was a) familiar, b) visible, and c) receiving rewards of equal value," De Waal's team wrote in their report, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

    "The fact the capuchins predominantly selected the prosocial option must mean seeing another monkey receive food is satisfying or rewarding for them," said de Waal.

    "We believe prosocial behaviour is empathy based. Empathy increases in both humans and animals with social closeness, and in our study, closer partners made more prosocial choices."

    De Waal's team next will see whether giving is rewarding to capuchins because they can eat together or if the monkeys simply like to see the other monkey enjoying food.

    "Capuchin monkeys spontaneously share food in both nature and captivity, and commonly sit next to each other while eating," the researchers wrote.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Ebenezer Wright
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2008
    • 1021

    #2
    Re: Like Monkeys Care

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Well, the latest scientifical lies are that monkeys care. That's right fellow True Christians™, the evilutionistas are working overtime in the ridiculous factory to convince us all that our relatives were chimpanzees.

    I for one, am not buying it. I've been to the zoo, and I've been to the ghetto, and I have yet to see any of them sharing a thing except fleas and vernearial diseases.

    Just more hogwash from the evilutionists. When they say silly things like this I am forced to wonder how anyone could be stupid enough to believe them.
    Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

    Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22892

      #3
      Re: Like Monkeys Care

      "They seem to care for the welfare of those they know," Frans de Waal, director of the Living Links Center at Yerkes, said in a statement.


      Capuchins are evil little dwarves with teeth like needles and the temper of a wolverine with emmerods. They are named after a Catlick pack of homers who are much the same.

      If Capuchins are doing anything, they are doing it for the wrong reason – they only share food so there are more of them to leap on your face, chew your skull and urinate down your shirt.

      Don’t go anywhere near them, they are the spawn of the devil.


      (If you still want one, come and help yourself, I’ve 20 at the Vivisection Labs at Landover Christian University – most have bits missing.)
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • Pastor Isaac Peters
        Senior Pastor
        Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
        Always Biblically correct
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 10639

        #4
        Re: Like Monkeys Care

        It gets worse. Now, the evil-utionists are claiming that crows can recognize human faces (but can they tell Negroes apart?)
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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        • Ahimaaz Smith
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 2549

          #5
          Re: Like Monkeys Care

          Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
          It gets worse. Now, the evil-utionists are claiming that crows can recognize human faces (but can they tell Negroes apart?)
          The very idea that birds can recognize faces is ludicrous, but I suppose if any bird could tell one negro from another, it would be a crow.

          Of course, even if they are stupid, birds are still God's creatures. Here's one of my favorite birds:


          Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25

          Comment

          • Pinecone
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Aug 2008
            • 106

            #6
            Re: Like Monkeys Care

            Er...a...brother...

            I hate to say this, but the bat is in fact a mammal.

            Mammory ducts, live birth, hair, no scaly legs, no feathers, no beak...

            Although an argument could be made that simply because it is a flying creature, biblically speaking it should be classified with the birds of the air, but then again, all the the bugs of flight are definetly understood to be insects.

            Comment

            • Ezekiel Bathfire
              Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
              Christ's Rottweiler
               
              • Jan 2008
              • 22892

              #7
              Re: Like Monkeys Care

              Originally posted by Pinecone View Post
              Er...a...brother...

              I hate to say this, but the bat is in fact a mammal.

              Mammory ducts, live birth, hair, no scaly legs, no feathers, no beak...

              Although an argument could be made that simply because it is a flying creature, biblically speaking it should be classified with the birds of the air, but then again, all the the bugs of flight are definetly understood to be insects.
              Oh dear me! It would be a remarkable day indeed were Brother Ahimaaz to be wrong in any respect however small:

              Le:11:13: And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,
              Le:11:14: And the vulture, and the kite after his kind;
              Le:11:15: Every raven after his kind;
              Le:11:16: And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,
              Le:11:17: And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,
              Le:11:18: And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle,
              Le:11:19: And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
              Le:11:20: All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.

              Thus the bat is clearly a bird – God says so*. I think four legged fowls must have died out…

              *Actually, just in case you thought it might be a mistake, He says it again in

              De:14:18: And the stork, and the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.
              De:14:19: And every creeping thing that flieth is unclean unto you: they shall not be eaten.
              De:14:20: But of all clean fowls ye may eat.
              sigpic


              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

              Author of such illuminating essays as,
              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

              Comment

              • Unfalsifiable
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Jan 2008
                • 836

                #8
                Re: Like Monkeys Care

                Originally posted by Pinecone View Post
                Er...a...brother...

                I hate to say this, but the bat is in fact a mammal.

                Mammory ducts, live birth, hair, no scaly legs, no feathers, no beak...

                Although an argument could be made that simply because it is a flying creature, biblically speaking it should be classified with the birds of the air, but then again, all the the bugs of flight are definetly understood to be insects.


                Bats are birds. You see, the problem is with definitions of the words, in the Bible, the bat was defined as a bird because of obvious reasons, yet scientists with their lab coats and test tubes came up with new and twisted definitions to make the Bible look foolish, reclassifying the bat as a mammal. Well I tell you what, THEY are the ones who look foolish! Bats are CLEARLY birds.
                READ THE BIBLE

                Comment

                • Pinecone
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Aug 2008
                  • 106

                  #9
                  Re: Like Monkeys Care

                  So it says plain as day in the book of Leviticus.

                  I recant my previous heretical viewpoints and thank God for this corrective instruction.

                  Comment

                  • Ebenezer Wright
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 1021

                    #10
                    Re: Like Monkeys Care

                    Originally posted by Pinecone View Post
                    So it says plain as day in the book of Leviticus.

                    I recant my previous heretical viewpoints and thank God for this corrective instruction.
                    Yeah you really can't trust anything the scientists say. I believe they come up with most of their ideas while on drugs.

                    If only they would have checked the KJV Bible, then they wouldn't of had to waste their time coming up with these crackpot theories. A bat looks like a bird to me!
                    Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

                    Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

                    Comment

                    • Sledge Riprock
                      The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
                      Forum Member
                      • Aug 2008
                      • 188

                      #11
                      Re: Like Monkeys Care



                      Now that's an Abomination! Behold the Ossifrage!
                      A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

                      Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
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                      A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

                      Comment

                      • Daisy Mae Johnson
                        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 15708

                        #12
                        Re: Like Monkeys Care

                        Originally posted by Ahimaaz Smith View Post
                        The very idea that birds can recognize faces is ludicrous, but I suppose if any bird could tell one negro from another, it would be a crow.

                        Of course, even if they are stupid, birds are still God's creatures. Here's one of my favorite birds:


                        What a darlin lil feller. Kinda reminds me of this lil creature. Aren't all of GOD'S creation just adorable!
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                        • Warrior of God
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Aug 2008
                          • 241

                          #13
                          Re: Like Monkeys Care

                          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                          What a darlin lil feller. Kinda reminds me of this lil creature. Aren't all of GOD'S creation just adorable!

                          Sister BTB , you must have a truly huge and welcoming heart within you to find that little fellow adorable...
                          You must positively overflow with warmth and human kindness .
                          It is humbling to see your words , and the way you eagerly embrace creatures some might find off-putting..
                          The Pastor shows good taste indeed...

                          I am deeply moved...
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                          Seek Salvation in Him,
                          or His Judgement will seek you.

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                          • Warrior of God
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Aug 2008
                            • 241

                            #14
                            Re: Like Monkeys Care

                            Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                            What a darlin lil feller. Kinda reminds me of this lil creature. Aren't all of GOD'S creation just adorable!

                            errrr....

                            what is it ?
                            sigpic

                            Seek Salvation in Him,
                            or His Judgement will seek you.

                            Comment

                            • Daisy Mae Johnson
                              The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                              Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                              aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 15708

                              #15
                              Re: Like Monkeys Care

                              Originally posted by Warrior of God View Post
                              errrr....

                              what is it ?
                              I have no idea. Some kind of rat?


                              Speaking of rats, check out these giant mice! A gal couldn't even jump on a chair to escape them!!

                              Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 08-31-2008, 07:19 PM.
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