[Bobby-Joe]

PRAISE! I had not realized that Landover would be funding an expedition to find Noah's ARK! I certainly will be interested in joining such an expedition, since, after all, I am a scientist and seek the TRUTH, as explained in my 1611 KJV Bible! Is it a "bring-your-own-pack-negro" event, or will they be supplied?

From what I understand they will be using locals for pack duty; most Negros do not handle high altitudes, cold temperatures and long depravation of their staples like water melon too well.

[Andreas]

From what I understand they will be using locals for pack duty; most Negros do not handle high altitudes, cold temperatures and long depravation of their staples like water melon too well.

What's the difference. Negroes, sand negroes, armenians... They will all burn in hell.

We might as well use them to carry are bags.

[Saria]

Evolution's still alive and well

Oh where, oh where to start. First of all, just because an approx. 5,000 year old hammer was found with supposedly 140,000 year old fossils, proves nothing. The fossils could have very well been exposed by geological activity, discovered by ancient civilizations, and covered up years later. Another viable possibility is that the area was indeed unearthed by an ancient civilization, possibly in the building of any of various structures, and later buried as the civilization migrated/disbanded/was destroyed. The only way to ascertain whether or not the fossils and hammer are indeed from the same time period would be to use carbon dating for, as I have demonstrated, relative dating can only go so far in such instances.

[EDIT]And how, praytell, would Noah have found animals such as rhinos, giraffes, and other south-African animals to place on his ark, let alone find the food to accomodate them for such a period of time?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Oh where, oh where to start. First of all, just because an approx. 5,000 year old hammer was found with supposedly 140,000 year old fossils, proves nothing. The fossils could have very well been exposed by geological activity, discovered by ancient civilizations, and covered up years later. Another viable possibility is that the area was indeed unearthed by an ancient civilization, possibly in the building of any of various structures, and later buried as the civilization migrated/disbanded/was destroyed. The only way to ascertain whether or not the fossils and hammer are indeed from the same time period would be to use carbon dating for, as I have demonstrated, relative dating can only go so far in such instances.

[EDIT]And how, praytell, would Noah have found animals such as rhinos, giraffes, and other south-African animals to place on his ark, let alone find the food to accomodate them for such a period of time?

I am shocked at your total ignorance. Demons must be knawing away at your soul via your colon as we speak. We all know that Carbon Dating is a bunch of bunk. Take a piece of paper, that's carbon. Take a pile of steaming negra-dung. That's mostly carbon. Take a piece of charcoal, that's carbon. They all must be the same age -- biiiiiillions of years old, right?

Enjoy hell, heathen

[Saria]

...no, just no. Carbon dating (typically using U34) measures the half life of an object to determine it's age. It is not as simple as "Oh, look, this is composed of carbon, it must be 4.56 billion years old!" And you haven't answered my question regarding Noah's Arc.

[EDIT] and what would you be doing with a pile of fecal matter, you pervert?

[Bobby-Joe]

[QUOTE=Saria;851][EDIT]And how, praytell, would Noah have found animals such as rhinos, giraffes, and other south-African animals to place on his ark, let alone find the food to accomodate them for such a period of time?[/QUOTE

The world's continents were all gathered together before The Flood. God only spread the world's lands out as we see them in the post flood period about the time of the Tower of Bable.

[Saria]

[EDIT]And how, praytell, would Noah have found animals such as rhinos, giraffes, and other south-African animals to place on his ark, let alone find the food to accomodate them for such a period of time?

The world's continents were all gathered together before The Flood. God only spread the world's lands out as we see them in the post flood period about the time of the Tower of Bable.

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

I know for a FACT that all scientists do is sit around and make up reasons why God can't exist. Dating fossils is merely reminiscent of craps.

"C'mon, papa needs a new pair of shoes. YAY -- 3.67103 biiiiiillion years old!"

It disgusts me. If only these s-lie-entists would open their hearts to the AWESOME TRUTH(TM) of GOD'S HOLY WORD. Unfortunately they doom themselves by denying God.

I am sure this will make them (and you) happy: I know that the devil practices safe sex.... Too bad he uses a condom spiked with glass and hot tamale sauce.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?

Yes and no. Since we are floating over the bowels of hell, there must be a certain amount of movement (as the crying sinners in HELL scream and move about trying to escape Satan's tallywhacker in vain). Unfortunately for YOU, heathen, we True Christians(TM) know that it is NOT evidence for a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLION ZIIIILION year old earth.

Go read your Bible before it's too late, sinner, and remember: the best bookmark is a receipt from a tithe to Landover.

[Bobby-Joe]

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?

No, I am saying that plate tectonics happens as God commands. What is in your mind that it is random, uncontrolled thing sinner.

[Saria]

Yes and no. Since we are floating over the bowels of hell, there must be a certain amount of movement (as the crying sinners in HELL scream and move about trying to escape Satan's tallywhacker in vain). Unfortunately for YOU, heathen, we True Christians(TM) know that it is NOT evidence for a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLION ZIIIILION year old earth.

Go read your Bible before it's too late, sinner, and remember: the best bookmark is a receipt from a tithe to Landover.

You do know that there is no such number as a "zillion", right? It goes hundred, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, hextillion, heptillion, octillion, nontillion(I think), etc., etc. And I still fail to see where the bible mentions Satan's penis or condoms at all...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

You do know that there is no such number as a "zillion", right? It goes hundred, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, hextillion, heptillion, octillion, nontillion(I think), etc., etc. And I still fail to see where the bible mentions Satan's penis or condoms at all...

Listen heathen scum; there are zillions of things that you "fail to see". God has not chosen you to receive the Holy Spirit. Now go cry on your lezbean mother's shoulder.

This verse applies to you:

"God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned." -- 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Read it and weep, bubblebrained female.

[Saria]

Listen heathen scum; there are zillions of things that you "fail to see". God has not chosen you to receive the Holy Spirit. Now go cry on your lezbean mother's shoulder.

This verse applies to you:

"God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned." -- 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Read it and weep, bubblebrained female.

1.) I'm a MALE
2.) My mom is not a lesbian, nor is she a hermaphrodite
3.) god has not refused to allow me to recieve the holy spirit, I've sent it back to god on a gurney
4.) I don't cry... ever
5.) Please don't insult my intelligence as it seems that you have trouble spelling even the word "lesbian"
6.) Why would I be weeping? Hope for the best and expect the worst, then you'll never be utterly disappointed.
7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

[Bobby-Joe]

1.) I'm a MALE

Oh, so we have one of those thespians in a male body crackpots do we? I should have figured that out by the way you have been lusting after Paster Ezekial.

2.) My mom is not a lesbian, nor is she a hermaphrodite
3.) god has not refused to allow me to recieve the holy spirit, I've sent it back to god on a gurney

So you sissy slap the Holy Spirit with your limp wrist homer?

4.) I don't cry... ever
5.) Please don't insult my intelligence as it seems that you have trouble spelling even the word "lesbian"
6.) Why would I be weeping? Hope for the best and expect the worst, then you'll never be utterly disappointed.
7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

No, we are saying you don't understand a THING, why? Becuase God hates you sonny! Now get right with Jesus before Satan is using your body to pelasure himself like a 14 year old uses a roll of socks.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

1.) I'm a MALE

This is unfortunate (for you).

"14Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" - I Corinthians 11:14 (KJV1611)

God hates you, for you have long hair and you can be mistaken for a woman (such SHAME I cannot even begin to fathom). I suspect that you will become SATAN'S woman, used for his pleasure and sex (as the true role of a woman is).

7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

Heathen, you cannot even begin to comprehend the mind of a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM). Do not criticize that which you have no knowledge of. As a GODLY(TM) scientist, I can assure you that "Zillion" is a scientifical term used in all of the "THEORY of EVILUTION" papers. Do your research and look into ANY evilution paper . They all say that life is a "zillion" years old and that GOD never existed (even TYPING that makes me woozy! Time for another shot of GODLY 1848 SCOTCH)

Enjoy hell. Which is like a ZILLION ZILLION times worse than the WORST DREAM you ever had. Next time you defile yourself, try using a fiberglass glove covered in hot tamale sauce, to get a feel for what you will spend eternity feeling.