[Ksevio]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

You guys come up with some really uncomfortable sounding fetishes.

Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

You guys come up with some really uncomfortable sounding fetishes.

Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Apparently God shares your sentiment so He has decreed that act a damnable crime.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

You guys come up with some really uncomfortable sounding fetishes. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Perhaps you will feel less uncomfortable if you pull that Cucumber out of your ass.

[Ksevio]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Apparently God shares your sentiment so He has decreed that act a damnable crime.

That just brought the image of God too my mind pondering cucumbers, then shivering and hastily issuing a commandment on their usage.

[Thothey]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Game over christfags.
You dun lost the game.

[UnholyScientist]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

yo husband's gay.

[RageVirus]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

You're chances are slim.

The truth will prevail giveth two thousand years.
Christianity will burn amongst technology and gears.
Your favourite bible quotation,
replaced with recession and inflation
All from a ready hand
Said to demand, our obedience and love
Be wary of night, atheism is a dove.

Bound in the grasps, of first flight.

[waywardJim]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; t he God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

This is as good as any reason for God.

[Miss muslimdestroyer]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I feel so strange reading this thread. I didn't know this. I must confess that I have, at times in the past, had intimate relations with cucumbers and bananas, umm, carrots, potatoes, even grapes as well as... anyway, I'm worried now, does this mean I've had relations with God Himself? I'm worried now.

How do I get the little ex-masturbator icon? I vow NEVER to do this again. At least not with a cucumber, I promise.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

...I have...had intimate relations with...grapes...

Pics or it didn't happen.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I feel so strange reading this thread. I didn't know this. I must confess that I have, at times in the past, had intimate relations with cucumbers and bananas, umm, carrots, potatoes, even grapes as well as... anyway, I'm worried now, does this mean I've had relations with God Himself? I'm worried now.

How do I get the little ex-masturbator icon? I vow NEVER to do this again. At least not with a cucumber, I promise.

What is wrong with you? You need to come clean and tell us exactly what you have done with those assorted vegetables. The grapes have me a bit perplexed.

[Miss muslimdestroyer]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

What is wrong with you? You need to come clean and tell us exactly what you have done with those assorted vegetables. The grapes have me a bit perplexed.

I feel so ashamed, I need help being saved. I'm not really a pervert, just frustrated. The grapes move around as you walk... I've said too much.

[Miss muslimdestroyer]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Pics or it didn't happen.

I think you sir are the real pervert here, trying to exploit a poor young woman into showing you pics like that. Besides, I don't have them at the moment, I lent them out, so I couldn't show you anyway.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I feel so ashamed, I need help being saved. I'm not really a pervert, just frustrated. The grapes move around as you walk... I've said too much.

Why would you put grapes in your pocket, it has to get messy? If you are frustrated try reading the Bible, it helps me.

[Janine Walker]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I think you sir are the real pervert here, trying to exploit a poor young woman into showing you pics like that. Besides, I don't have them at the moment, I lent them out, so I couldn't show you anyway.

Sinner or no sinner, I don't believe the other minors(under 18 posters) on this website would appreciate you telling everyone in full detail about your harlot ways. I realize there are ex prostitutes on this website but they don't go around tempting other Christians by telling in detail what they are doing.

If you really want to be Saved™ you may want to make introduction for yourself in the introduction forum.

In Jesus, Janine Walker