[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Pastor Ezekiel;57645]

You have scales on your eyes, and your father is satan. Of course you cannot see.

A little eyeliner and mascara, yes. Glitter eye shadow for Mardi Gras and New Year's Eve, sure. Scales, no.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[QUOTE=BadAssButterfly;57301]

See for yourself HERE. /quote]

The only thing bananas prove the existence of is banana trees.

You have scales on your eyes, and your father is satan. Of course you cannot see.

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Pastor Ezekiel;37744]See for yourself HERE. /quote]

The only thing bananas prove the existence of is banana trees.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

This is disgusting!

Ladies, don't read this! And skip over the quote below! (Vulgar language has been replaced by icons. This does not make it suitable for children!)

The Banana: The Christian's Nightmare

We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good -- and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.

Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of and .

But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?

God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then God certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as God is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.


So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving God that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.


The banana...

1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human , it is perfectly shaped for the human .
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the -Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your . (How many women want a limp, mushy anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent -al matter (or fecal matter, in the case of God's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the .
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.

To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

If I believed in a god I would have thought him a great scientist-

Can a scientist create ANYTHING new, out of nothing? No? What a surprise..
Scientists got nothing but theories, and desperate attempts at trying to create anything out of nothing.
God can do just that, and more still.

he would have needed to be to make the universe!

You think God, who can do ANYTHING, couldn't create the universe?

Unless you look at creation a different way as like Ricky Gervais....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEj3...related&search=

Ahahahahahahahaaaaa

Wow, you can post a video of a comedian mocking God, that must make everything you say right!

[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Scientists think that humans have only worked the earth for some 10,000years.. So how then could they have been cultivated during millions of years?

The 10,000years thing is actually pretty close to the truth however, as man has worked the earth as long as we have existed:
Which is about 6,000 years.

If I believed in a god I would have thought him a great scientist- he would have needed to be to make the universe! Unless you look at creation a different way as like Ricky Gervais....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEj3...related&search=

Ahahahahahahahaaaaa

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Scientists think that humans have only worked the earth for some 10,000years.. So how then could they have been cultivated during millions of years?

The 10,000years thing is actually pretty close to the truth however, as man has worked the earth as long as we have existed:
Which is about 6,000 years.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Get it? Bananas have been cultivated over numerous years, breeding/interbreeding to get the banana we eat today.

Tell me, what evidence is there that this cultivation took place "over millions of years"?

Even your "scientists" don't think humans were cultivating anything "millions of years" ago. Or even tens of thousands of years ago.

Meanwhile, Gregor Mendel's hybridization experiments were only a couple of hundred years ago.

[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

If so, have you got around to proving it yet? Good luck with that.

You obviously haven't watched Gisburne's video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0n0TK_dx-Y

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana

"Fruits of wild type bananas have numerous, large, hard seeds."

"Cultivation
While the original bananas contained rather large seeds, triploid (and thus seedless) cultivars have been selected for human consumption. These are propagated asexually from offshoots of the plant. The plant is allowed to produce 2 shoots at a time; a larger one for fruiting immediately and a smaller "sucker" or "follower" that will produce fruit in 6–8 months time. The life of a banana plantation is 25 years or longer, during which time the individual stools or planting sites may move slightly from their original positions as lateral rhizome formation dictates. Latin Americans sometimes comment that the plants are "walking" over time.
Cultivated bananas are parthenocarpic, which makes them sterile and unable to produce viable seeds. Lacking seeds, another form of propagation is required. This involves removing and transplanting part of the underground stem (called a corm). Usually this is done by carefully removing a sucker (a vertical shoot that develops from the base of the banana pseudostem) with some roots intact. However, small sympodial corms, representing not yet elongated suckers, are harder to transplant and can be left out of the ground for up to 2 weeks; they require minimal care and can be boxed together for shipment.
In some countries, bananas are commercially propagated by means of tissue culture. This method is preferred since it ensures disease-free planting material. When using vegetative parts such as suckers for propagation, there is a risk of transmitting diseases (especially the devastating Panama disease)."

Get it? Bananas have been cultivated over numerous years, breeding/interbreeding to get the banana we eat today.

I strongly urge you watch the vid, he raises some excellent factors about the likes of the pineapple, potatoes and onion.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Wow. You're happy to watch christians make fun of themselves, but when an atheist makes a vid about what every atheist is thinking, you can't watch it? Because you're afraid of the truth.

Science is fact. Hardcore facts. Although

So is this a hardcore fact?

The banana's been altered by humans over the millions of years.

If so, have you got around to proving it yet? Good luck with that.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Science is fact. Hardcore facts. Although philosophy is great, all you do is think, you don't need to observe the world. But science is all about gaining knowledge. I choose science over faith. I choose reality over dreams.

I actually have to disagree there. While science is a handy thing, 'hardcore fact' is a term that maybe goes too far. There are things which are proven facts but remember, science is evolving too. Facts can and do often change.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Science is fact. Hardcore facts. Although philosophy is great, all you do is think, you don't need to observe the world. But science is all about gaining knowledge. I choose science over faith. I choose reality over dreams.

How did you prove your "facts" correct?
And how did you prove the "proof" that they are correct? And so on, and so on..
In the end/beginning, it's all belief. So there is nothing factual about science..

Also, science must ALWAYS be wrong for it to move forward.
Because you see, It only "advances" when it is: When former theories can be "proven wrong", and replaced by new ones.
Now it's monkey worship, but it will probably be replaced by something equally silly (or worse) soon.

[SinisterPizza]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

lol, that was great...the pineapple

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Wow. You're happy to watch christians make fun of themselves, but when an atheist makes a vid about what every atheist is thinking, you can't watch it? Because you're afraid of the truth.

Science is fact. Hardcore facts. Although philosophy is great, all you do is think, you don't need to observe the world. But science is all about gaining knowledge. I choose science over faith. I choose reality over dreams.

Ahh, so you're a fundamentalist atheist. You are so self-centered that you can't accept any view other than your own.

And you must spend all your spare time on a Baptist Church forum, insulting people, and trying to prove yourself right (because you're not really sure yourself).

Gotcha.

[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Wow. You're happy to watch christians make fun of themselves, but when an atheist makes a vid about what every atheist is thinking, you can't watch it? Because you're afraid of the truth.

Science is fact. Hardcore facts. Although philosophy is great, all you do is think, you don't need to observe the world. But science is all about gaining knowledge. I choose science over faith. I choose reality over dreams.