[Petal]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

I was wondering though, would it be appropriate to consume such a fruit? It looks like that banana would be the perfect addition to a creamy, delicious banana caramel pie and maybe it'd just give it an extra hint of our Lord!

i thinks maybee it be ok to makes that pie wiv a lord jesus bananas cuz we not be vampire catlicks, an we no that we not really cannibalizin lord Jesus when we eats that bananas. but if i founds a lord Jesus banana that lookeds likes the one in this here pickture, i not thinks i gonna eats him



lord Jesus look kinda grumpys , an i not wants to upsets him by puttings him in a pies

[Nicole1Happy]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

I once was told that yellow bananas came in to existence because of man and thanks to evolution. Hearing this made me feel terrible for someone to take something as pure as the banana and put these strange theories on it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

Petal, those special bananas should be sent to Ray Comfort at once, so he and Kirk Cameron can use them to demonstrate God's Glory!

Isn't it wonderful how God gave Man such easy-to-eat wild bananas?

This is what happens to a banana when Man tries to "hybridize" bananas and make them "better" than the ones God created for us:



Just look at all those seeds! It's practically inedible!

This is what "playing God" will get us.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

GLORY!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

You lot are so funny, you get all worked up when you see a smudge that looks a bit like your imaginary friend on some food.

I see the likeness of The One True God, Our Lord Noodle, on my plate every day.
Oh and before you state comparing me with the cat-o-licks...

Frequently Asked Questions

73 Transubstantiation is not part of Pastafarian doctrine.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

You lot are so funny, you get all worked up when you see a smudge that looks a bit like your imaginary friend on some food.

I see the likeness of The One True God, Our Lord Noodle, on my plate every day.

Every day? How much do you weigh? Do you have diabetes? You know my father lost 100 pounds on Atkins and has kept it off for over 40 years now.

[SUV]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

As some are prone to slicing bananas onto their morning oatmeal, I feel it is Jesus reminding us Christianity is "The Right Thing To Do!"

[Jo Freddie]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

Every day? How much do you weigh? Do you have diabetes? You know my father lost 100 pounds on Atkins and has kept it off for over 40 years now.

I said nothing of the size of the portion did I.

The Holy Scriptures warn us against the evil that is Atkins.
REVELATIONS 1: BOOK OF REVEALED CRAPOLA

9:1 And in my hunger I saw a vision of doom, the four horsemen of the Atkins rose up and rode across the land.

The Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete

2:1 Now, Fearsome Pirate Pete‟s favorite followers were Nikta, and Tiny the midget.
2:2 Nikta suggested that Pete try Atkinsceticism, to eat very little, and if eating anything at all, for it to be very low in carbohydrates.
2:3 Fearsome Pirate Pete and his crew tried this for one day, but by the second day, Pete began to have strange pains in his stomach.
2:4 Soon, Pete was light-headed, and began to hallucinate.
2:5 Seemingly in front of his eyes, Pete saw a blurry mass of yellow centered around two large red circles.
2:6 The strange figure said unto Pete, “Everything in moderation, even moderation.”

[BelieverInGod]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

4 Horsemen of Atkins? Dr. Atkins was a New York doctor who specialized in obesity and nutrition. I don't think he had a horse, let alone horsemen.

As for people who get sick off of Atkins, it is people who bastardize the diet and only eat meat. People seem to forget that you're supposed to eat a minimum of 6 cups of veggies while on the diet.

As for Pete, just what kind of vegetables was he ingesting?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

Dr. Atkins was a New York doctor who specialized in obesity and nutrition.

Who in April 2002, suffered a heart attack, which the American Heart Association linked to the Atkins Diet.

As his diet spelt doom for him is is writ that the arrival of the four horsemen of the Atkins shall signal doom for us all..

9:1 And in my hunger I saw a vision of doom, the four horsemen of the Atkins rose up and rode across the land.

9:2 Diet rode first and in her wake caused the pasta to remain forever hard and cursed to never become al dente.
9:3 Diet watched over as the people as they boiled and cried, boiled and cried and laughingly taunted the people and by leaving only limp lettuce in her wake for sustenance.
9:4 Then my vision faded to white and as the eldritch horror of a plain egg white omelette obliterated the land my cutlass fell from my hand.
9:5 As the albumen of my vision receded it was replaced by a new horror.

9:6 I saw Additives emerge, and as he galloped out in he raised in his right hand the “can of revulsion” and from it flowed cheap meatballs.
9:7 And the pirates saw this and a wail of sorrow arose from their ships.
9:8 Then, with his left hand he took the microwavable squeeze tube of artificial colour, flavourings and preservatives and squished.
9:9 Thus it came to pass that the true meatballs were hidden from the faithful who; suffered and searched, suffered and searched, suffered and searched again.
9:10 Always looking for true meatballs amongst the canned and processed the faithful were forced to eat the abominations that covered the earth looking for the true meatballs.
9:11 And hyperactivity and allergies arose across the nation.

9:12 Almost silently Fundamentalism strode into the land, and while the people itched and sneezed from Additives torments he twisted the holy truth with lies and exaggeration.
9:13 Carefully and unrecognised his weapons were put to use.
9:14 With the shield of ignorance and thunderous megaphone of blame he caused the unholy scriptures to be written.
9:15 Blasphemous writings of beer drains, sensibly dressed clothing manufacturers and strict rigid moral standards were sent out as the one true word.
9:16 If only the people had seen the handkerchief of hypocrisy and put it on a boil wash.
9:17 I shook my head to disperse the terrors in my mind to no avail.
9:18 I saw how the pirates were persecuted and had their parrots were stuffed before their very eyes, gagged so, no one could speak the python sketch in their honour.
9:19 I looked on and despaired.

9:20 Then, my eardrums were shattered by the peoples screams of “Toto, Toto we are in Kansas” as State Board tore through the suffering world.
9:21 Creating schools in her wake, lobotomising biology teachers and with a cackle let loose on the earth a pair of (very intelligently designed) peng-skunks that hovered over the earths waters, on a cushion of flatulence, looking for pirates.
9:22 State Board looked over the earth and watched the peng-skunks cut the cheese on their hunt.
9:23 The males stalked the eye patch that signalled their fertility while the females invaded pirates hats that were their nests.
9:24 And thus it came to pass that the passion of the peng-skunks diminished the pirates on the earth.
9:25 And so the earth was warmed.

9:26 Diet, Additives, Fundamentalism and State Board looked over the land and knew that their work was almost done.
9:27 My vision faltered as my mind grasped that what I‟d seen so far was only the start and there true mission was yet to come
9:28 And with a terror in my heart the four horsemen rode out to complete there task.
9:29 While the people were pasta-less and the earth warmed the horsemen‟s true mission began to create the way for the demon of the end days.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

Oh my, a man has a heart attack at 72 and "they" say it's because of what he ate. At least he practised what he preached, unlike most of the low fat high carb guru's. My fathers been on the diet for over 40 years and has healthy and happy internal organs.

Lets see your list....

1. Diet
Nope, no egg white only omelet for me, that's for you low fat high carb people. I get a beautiful three egg omelet with ham and onions and cheese.... yummy.

2. Additives
Not on Atkins, you're eating steak straight off the cow and fresh veggies. Maybe you should read what kind of crap they put into those high carb foods like bread and pastas.

3. Fundamentalism
Whose fundamental? The Atkins people? or the low fat army who wants to make us all live off of less than 1000 calories a day? Atkins says you can have whatever you want as long as you stay inside the assigned number of carbs. The low fat people just tell you what you can't eat until there's nothing left to eat at all.

4. State Board
Want to point out one state board that supports Atkins? There isn't one, they're all too scared of the animal rights movements and the diet industry that wants to keep you fat.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

His Noodlness chose to name the group of Horses after the worst example of the first horse, Diet. The other nags representing other plagues upon the world.

Results of tests on the Atkins Diet...

It really is the Atkins Diet that is the worst, You might lose weight with the high-fat Atkins Diet but it could put you at risk of heart disease by raising your cholesterol and damaging your blood vessels. The Atkins Diet raises peoples bad cholesterol by an average of 16 points, and brings on symptoms of hardening of the arteries, a precursor to strokes or heart attacks. Some markers of inflammation are increased by as much as 30 to 40 percent by the Atkins Diet.

There are also concerns about the safety of the program, linking it to an increased risk of kidney stones and bone loss.

Some of the obesity researchers and nutritionists are outraged by the diet, arguing that it runs contrary to the advice of most major health organizations, which advocate a diet relatively low in saturated (animal) fat and high in complex carbohydrates (grains, vegetables). Those recommendations are based on evidence that a diet rich in fruits and veggies and low in saturated fat reduces the risk of heart disease, some types of cancer and other health problems.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

Gosh Petal!

You are certainly getting more and more clever every day.

I have been wondering too if the banana is the fruit referred to in Galatians 5:22. What do you think?

Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,


I think it might be because Jesus' face was on that banana you showed us all.

Even proverbs refers to it:

Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.

I sure wouldn't be surprised if the banana tree is the tree of life, because it IS proof positive that God exists!!Mr Comfort and Mr Cameron are certainly not wrong.

Praise Jesus!!

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

His Noodlness chose to name the group of Horses after the worst example of the first horse, Diet. The other nags representing other plagues upon the world.

Results of tests on the Atkins Diet...

It really is the Atkins Diet that is the worst, You might lose weight with the high-fat Atkins Diet but it could put you at risk of heart disease by raising your cholesterol and damaging your blood vessels. The Atkins Diet raises peoples bad cholesterol by an average of 16 points, and brings on symptoms of hardening of the arteries, a precursor to strokes or heart attacks. Some markers of inflammation are increased by as much as 30 to 40 percent by the Atkins Diet.

There are also concerns about the safety of the program, linking it to an increased risk of kidney stones and bone loss.

Some of the obesity researchers and nutritionists are outraged by the diet, arguing that it runs contrary to the advice of most major health organizations, which advocate a diet relatively low in saturated (animal) fat and high in complex carbohydrates (grains, vegetables). Those recommendations are based on evidence that a diet rich in fruits and veggies and low in saturated fat reduces the risk of heart disease, some types of cancer and other health problems.

You know what I find funny, is these are the same people who up to last year told us that hydrogenated fats were good for us. Oh, but now they changed the name to Trans-fats and they're evil incarnate.

The number of people eating low fat/high carb is the highest it has ever been, yet obesity, diabetes, and heart disease is at an all time high.

I would really like to know if the people in the study were actually following the Atkins diet, or just eating a lot of meat. Remember that a lot of people tend to want to skip the 6 cups of veggies/day and only fill up on a 6 pound roast.

Again, the people that I know who follow the Atkins are healthier than the people I know who eat high carb.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: this banana gonna gives them athiests nitemares

The Lord Noodle sums it up very sweetly

2:5 Seemingly in front of his eyes, Pete saw a blurry mass of yellow centered around two large red circles.
2:6 The strange figure said unto Pete, “Everything in moderation, even moderation.”

Now I have my Pasta in moderation, yes if I was to eat several pounds of the stuff each day I would be in trouble, but Atkins wanted us to cut out Pasta completely, not for any health benefit but as an affront to Our Lord Noodle. God gave us the ingredients to make Pasta and Noodles to honour Him they and come in many forms with many base ingredients:
Wheat
Rice
Mung bean
Potato or canna starch
Buckwheat
Acorn
I know of people that have smoked 20 a day all their lives and lived to a ripe old age with out any related health problems, and in the past the tobacco companies told us how good smoking was for us, but I am not going to recommend that anyone should start smoking.

The number of people eating low fat/high carb is the highest it has ever been, yet obesity, diabetes, and heart disease is at an all time high.

Much of the problem here is not what they are eating but how much they are eating, and how much physical activity they are doing.

Now let us look at the percentage of people in different countries that are Obese:

Now tell me where in that table do the countries come that have a diet the includes a lot of Pasta and Noodles (Hint Italy, Japan, South Korea)

Health trends come and go, diets come and go, as Our Lord Noodle says “Everything in moderation, even moderation.”