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  • #1

    Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

    It's true!

    A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

    The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt . . .

    Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police . . .

    [He] would not reveal his country of origin . . .

    This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

    Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled . . .
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  • #2
    Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

    This is weird, that guy looks like one of my grandsons but older.
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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    • #3
      Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

      Oh.my.GOD. Not that *thing* again

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

        Uhhh.......

        If the LHC destroyed the world, how was he able to come back? Didn't think this through very well did he.

        Anyway, even if it does destroy the earth, it just means we'll be in Heaven with Jesus, enjoying our eternity in his Blessed Presence.

        Drama queen

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        • #5
          Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

          Eloi Cole
          A guy from the future called "Eloi"? Has anyone in the media read H.G. Wells' The Time Traveller?
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          • #6
            Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
            It's true!


            I HAVE NO COMMENT ON THIS!!!
            A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

            Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
            sigpic
            A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

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            • #7
              Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

              Have the Swiss told you to 'move along' Sledge?

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                I do NOT know this Man! If I had Been in Switzerland, there was Nothing to See There, I would NOT LOITER there, I would Move Along!!! This MAN is not a Fellow Traveller, He does not Mow and Wander as The Lord told ME to!!!

                His City is not LOST, nor are His Children, he is OF THIS LAND, Your Land, not My LAND.

                To the New York Island I have Journeyed, by the City when the Lights go Down. I Live here now, in My FORD, it is Grey!
                A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

                Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
                sigpic
                A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                  That's kinda... Freaky. I mean how does a man just vanish like that?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                    Originally posted by Tom Furgon View Post
                    That's kinda... Freaky. I mean how does a man just vanish like that?
                    Well, he didn't, exactly. You have to think of this 4 dimensionally, rather than just 3.

                    Landover's True Christian™ scientists are working with this technology now in the hope than we can go back to 1787 and enact Sharia Biblical Law in place of the constitution.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                      Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                      Landover's True Christian™ scientists are working with this technology now in the hope than we can go back to 1787 and enact Sharia Biblical Law in place of the constitution.
                      Exactly. Though this would be our first objective, we also think of travelling back in time to about 6014 years ago, and prevent Eve from eating the apple. That would prevent a lot of nastiness from happening.
                      Sweet Lord Jesus,
                      I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                      Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                      Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                      Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                      Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                      Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                      Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                      Amen.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                        Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
                        A guy from the future called "Eloi"? Has anyone in the media read H.G. Wells' The Time Traveller?
                        Here in Seattle we are all Morlocks. We can operate in the day because the sun is always behind clouds.

                        I find it silly that a grown man could believe in such fairy tales. Instead of reading HG Wells, he should have been reading the BIBLE (KJV)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                          You guys do realise that this was an April Fool's joke?

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                            Originally posted by meticadpa View Post
                            You guys do realise that this was an April Fool's joke?
                            And it appears we got you.

                            Talk about a delay.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Man from future arrested at Large Hardon Collider!

                              Originally posted by meticadpa View Post
                              You guys do realise that this was an April Fool's joke?
                              Of course we did:
                              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                              This is weird, that guy looks like one of my grandsons but older.
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                              Comment

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