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Today, as I was sitting having dinner having said grace, and drinking my milk and eating my wheat bread while smiling at my family, I noticed something. The sky outside was dark and grey. Today was Easter Monday, why was the sky dark and grey, when all those years ago, Jesus Christ had just been reborn? I thought to myself - and this deeply disturbed me - why the sky was dark and grey. I thought even harder at night - and I am from the UK - why the sky was dark and grey at night. I was sitting on my arm-chair, pondering, wondering why the sky was dark and grey. The feelings that came from these ponderous wonderings deeply disturbed me. My daughter gave me milk and cookies - God bless her - and then she settled down to watch Wonders of the Solar System.
When she was watching this... subversive program about the big bang and the Hadron Collider and all that cal, I was seething with fury. I thought since the sky was dark and grey, that the great Zeus in the sky would zap down an almighty bolt of lightning that would damage the TV. He didn't. I was forced to sit there, peeting down my moloko with my cookies - Oreos if you care - and I became, O my Brothers, drawn to the TV shows. After it, I felt like leaping around with joy. It all clicked. It all made sense. It felt as if I had been released from a dark and opressive Gulag. Don't anger over me, O my Brothers, for I am free and I hope with all my logic that you lot shall be free.
When she was watching this... subversive program about the big bang and the Hadron Collider and all that cal, I was seething with fury. I thought since the sky was dark and grey, that the great Zeus in the sky would zap down an almighty bolt of lightning that would damage the TV. He didn't. I was forced to sit there, peeting down my moloko with my cookies - Oreos if you care - and I became, O my Brothers, drawn to the TV shows. After it, I felt like leaping around with joy. It all clicked. It all made sense. It felt as if I had been released from a dark and opressive Gulag. Don't anger over me, O my Brothers, for I am free and I hope with all my logic that you lot shall be free.
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