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You might often wonder why there are gays, when they do nothing but iniquities and how this might be related to time-travel. However, I thought about this and there is an answer to one of God's Greatest Mysteries! Read on... The answer is stranger than you think.
Yesterday, Mrs Bathfire and Boy (my faithful retainer) went on one of their shopping trips and I was left at home doing nothing. Time went so slowly that, more than once, I looked out into the garden to see if God had stopped the sun from going round the Earth, as he did for Joshua that Joshua might smite with a great smitance and destroy utterly Adoni-zedek king of Jerusalem, Hoham king of Hebron, Piram king of Jarmuth, Japhia king of Lachish, and Debir king of Eglon, and all their armies.
Not only that but in Habakkuk:3:10 – 11, God stops the Earth again (or once before, it’s a little unclear.)
So I was standing there at the window, my right arm raised pointing at the sun to see if, with the Help of God, I could stop it moving and to see if The Lord were listening (which He always is but most times He’s busy doing something else) when in walked Nephew Zebulun and interrupted my reverie by saying, “Oh, Hello, Unky, practicing your Hitler salute?”
Well, he was laughing but I wasn’t! So I told him what was happening and he said remarked that stopping time was like time travel and you had to be careful with such things.
Despite my irritation, I was interested and asked him why traveling back in time would not just like going to Kansas!
“Well,” he says, “What would happen if you went back in time and you killed your own great-great-grandfather?”
I told him that my great-great-grandfather was already dead and as such, it would be unlikely to be a worry to him.
But Nephew Zebulun insisted, “Listen, if you went back in time and you killed your own great-great-grandfather, your great-grandfather would not have been born and neither would your grandfather nor your father nor YOU! And if you weren’t born, you couldn’t do anything, let alone travel back in time.”
I was bamboozled. I tried to argue against this but four or five times only managed to utter the first words of sentences before realizing that this was “Checkmate.” (Sometimes, I suspect Nephew Zebulun has a wisdom close to that of God Himself!)
Anyway, I have to move this story on and Nephew Zebulun went off with the $10,000 he needed to cover expenses evicting some nigras from one of his condos, and I was left considering this revelation.
This world is far more complex and mysterious than could ever be accounted for by the lies and myths of secular scientists which proves God must have made it all. And then the answer, awful as it was, came to me!
Listen up! If going back in time would alter things and create a future in which you could not exist, then time-travel would be impossible. Yet The Prophets of Old saw the future, which must be fixed, so the past, present and future are all fixed. (Still with me?)
So you could only go back in time and see people who were not related to anyone who could have been your, or anyone else’s, ancestor.
And who are they? Homers, lezbeans, gimps and extremely ugly people! Because they are the ones who have no descendants!
You see, if, for example, you travelled back in time to 1800 and accidentally dropped a cannonball on to the head of your ancestor, it would be like Nephew Zebulun said. BUT if you dropped it on the head of a homer, lezbeans, gimp or extremely ugly person, it simply wouldn’t matter!
“But wait a minute!” I hear you say, “Isn’t this post about Gays? So what's all this about gimps and extremely ugly people?”
“Yes!” I say, “Hold your horses, I haven’t gotten there yet!”
Gimps and ugly people are there because they are a punishment from God on their parents (Yea! Unto the 10th generation) But homers and lezbeans are not. God says they can be killed. (In fact, must be killed.)
Therefore, if you are to travel back through time, the only people you could ever meet are homers and lezbeans!!!
Therefore, we can say that there is a reason for homers and lezbeans and that, given that the past that you could visit would be a like a convention of hairdressers, ballet-dancers and interior designers, time travel is ungodly and should not be undertaken!
If there is anything you don’t understand, please let me know.
Yesterday, Mrs Bathfire and Boy (my faithful retainer) went on one of their shopping trips and I was left at home doing nothing. Time went so slowly that, more than once, I looked out into the garden to see if God had stopped the sun from going round the Earth, as he did for Joshua that Joshua might smite with a great smitance and destroy utterly Adoni-zedek king of Jerusalem, Hoham king of Hebron, Piram king of Jarmuth, Japhia king of Lachish, and Debir king of Eglon, and all their armies.
Jos:10:10: And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way that goeth up to Beth-horon, and smote them to Azekah, and unto Makkedah.
[…]
Jos:10:12: Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.
Jos:10:13: And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.
Jos:10:14: And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel.
Now, I’ll admit that I was not in battle against 5 kings nor had I called upon God to do anything, because, as usual, He was doing a good job. But it got me thinking. Despite “Jos:10:14: And there was no day like that before it or after it,” there was Isa:38:1 where Hezekiah is sick unto death and Isaiah himself bring the good news that Hezekiah is about to buy the farm, but when Hezekiah prayed and repents, God cured him and gave him another 15 years of life (Isa:38:5) and as a sign moved the sun back 10 degrees (40 minutes) (Isa:38:8). […]
Jos:10:12: Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.
Jos:10:13: And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.
Jos:10:14: And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the LORD hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the LORD fought for Israel.
Not only that but in Habakkuk:3:10 – 11, God stops the Earth again (or once before, it’s a little unclear.)
So I was standing there at the window, my right arm raised pointing at the sun to see if, with the Help of God, I could stop it moving and to see if The Lord were listening (which He always is but most times He’s busy doing something else) when in walked Nephew Zebulun and interrupted my reverie by saying, “Oh, Hello, Unky, practicing your Hitler salute?”
Well, he was laughing but I wasn’t! So I told him what was happening and he said remarked that stopping time was like time travel and you had to be careful with such things.
Despite my irritation, I was interested and asked him why traveling back in time would not just like going to Kansas!
“Well,” he says, “What would happen if you went back in time and you killed your own great-great-grandfather?”
I told him that my great-great-grandfather was already dead and as such, it would be unlikely to be a worry to him.
But Nephew Zebulun insisted, “Listen, if you went back in time and you killed your own great-great-grandfather, your great-grandfather would not have been born and neither would your grandfather nor your father nor YOU! And if you weren’t born, you couldn’t do anything, let alone travel back in time.”
I was bamboozled. I tried to argue against this but four or five times only managed to utter the first words of sentences before realizing that this was “Checkmate.” (Sometimes, I suspect Nephew Zebulun has a wisdom close to that of God Himself!)
Anyway, I have to move this story on and Nephew Zebulun went off with the $10,000 he needed to cover expenses evicting some nigras from one of his condos, and I was left considering this revelation.
This world is far more complex and mysterious than could ever be accounted for by the lies and myths of secular scientists which proves God must have made it all. And then the answer, awful as it was, came to me!
Listen up! If going back in time would alter things and create a future in which you could not exist, then time-travel would be impossible. Yet The Prophets of Old saw the future, which must be fixed, so the past, present and future are all fixed. (Still with me?)
So you could only go back in time and see people who were not related to anyone who could have been your, or anyone else’s, ancestor.
And who are they? Homers, lezbeans, gimps and extremely ugly people! Because they are the ones who have no descendants!
You see, if, for example, you travelled back in time to 1800 and accidentally dropped a cannonball on to the head of your ancestor, it would be like Nephew Zebulun said. BUT if you dropped it on the head of a homer, lezbeans, gimp or extremely ugly person, it simply wouldn’t matter!
“But wait a minute!” I hear you say, “Isn’t this post about Gays? So what's all this about gimps and extremely ugly people?”
“Yes!” I say, “Hold your horses, I haven’t gotten there yet!”
Gimps and ugly people are there because they are a punishment from God on their parents (Yea! Unto the 10th generation) But homers and lezbeans are not. God says they can be killed. (In fact, must be killed.)
Therefore, if you are to travel back through time, the only people you could ever meet are homers and lezbeans!!!
Therefore, we can say that there is a reason for homers and lezbeans and that, given that the past that you could visit would be a like a convention of hairdressers, ballet-dancers and interior designers, time travel is ungodly and should not be undertaken!
If there is anything you don’t understand, please let me know.
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