[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Even for this site, this is a sick joke.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Praise! Brother Remy, this is the sort of operation I would very much like to tinker around with. Although I've never operated on a human being (I suppose that anesthetics are required?) I'm sure the Good Lord would guide my hands.

I think you will find anesthetics are mostly not required, you just got to be quick. The trick is to get it done in under two minutes.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Brother Bathfire, do you not feel it worthwhile to repeatedly practice these procedures Brother Remy has noted first on animals, to be sure you're completing them correctly, before moving on to Negroes and finally potential Christians?

Well, you have a point but God has seen fit to grant us intelligence and most things can be picked up within a few moments. Such thoughts as yours are not uncommon, but that it because so-called scientists purposely put big words into their textbooks – this is nothing more than keeping their little Masonic club together by making it hard for others to learn science. (Having said that, it’s probably a good thing, otherwise people would too easily become so-called scientists and we’d be up to our knees in them.)

After all, if you pick the right animals for your practice, the failed experiments can be donated to a local food bank.

Well that’s a fine idea Sister JennyD! We usually throw the sick and ailing animals into a dumpster that is emptied about once a week. The local food bank would certainly benefit by all this meat. I would expect a donation from them for the running to and fro delivering the creatures and we’d probably incur expenses in ensuring they were all dead before disposing of them, but Yes, I’ll make the ‘phone call.

Many thanks.

[JennyD]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Praise! Brother Remy, this is the sort of operation I would very much like to tinker around with. Although I've never operated on a human being (I suppose that anesthetics are required?) I'm sure the Good Lord would guide my hands.

Brother Bathfire, do you not feel it worthwhile to repeatedly practice these procedures Brother Remy has noted first on animals, to be sure you're completing them correctly, before moving on to Negroes and finally potential Christians?

After all, if you pick the right animals for your practice, the failed experiments can be donated to a local food bank.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

[...]The Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward performed a delicate surgical procedure on an Ex-Gay Ministry selectee to whom the program was not helping.

After an expedient 6 hour surgery the patient reported zero desire to be on the receiving or delivering side of any homosexual practice. Score one for the brave animals you sacrifice daily for the benefit of human beings.

With the success of this new procedure we are now performing this operation on infants who show a homosexual disposition. Babies who tend to poke their butts up into the air alot, favor objects with colors found in a rainbow, play with dolls instead of action figure, etc.
[...]

Praise! Brother Remy, this is the sort of operation I would very much like to tinker around with. Although I've never operated on a human being (I suppose that anesthetics are required?) I'm sure the Good Lord would guide my hands.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Alot of imbecile secularist who lobby for the rights of animals who do not even have souls, much feelings of sadness or pain, ignore the benefits such research provides to the human populace. If not for animal testings we would be forced to preform untested procedures on human beings.

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

This feline's eye was removed in one of our first studies aimed at removing the sickness of homosexuality. This particular experiment failed to remove the homosexual lust from this feline and it was humping same sex felines within a week of the operation. Wouldn't it have been a shame if we removed a human being's eye just to discover that the bible verse in question did not apply to the dedemonization of homosexuals?

The Homosexual Reparative Ward has long suspected that the demonic infection responsible for homosexuality is located within the anus. These demons influence the minds of queers, but ultimately it is the choice of the faggot in question to give in to the demon and begin the cycle of sin. We simple want to make the godly choice easier for them. 38 homosexual canines, felines, and mice were experimented on in a study to discover the biological organ serving as a nesting ground of said demons and remove them, thus curing the effected human of demon induced homosexual lust. In the experiments we have reached a 37% cure rate among animals operated on and began human surgeries back in January.

The Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward performed a delicate surgical procedure on an Ex-Gay Ministry selectee to whom the program was not helping.



After an expedient 6 hour surgery the patient reported zero desire to be on the receiving or delivering side of any homosexual practice. Score one for the brave animals you sacrifice daily for the benefit of human beings.

With the success of this new procedure we are now performing this operation on infants who show a homosexual disposition. Babies who tend to poke their butts up into the air alot, favor objects with colors found in a rainbow, play with dolls instead of action figure, etc.


This pre-opt infant, being readied for an operation, will never have to worry about being infested with demons again. PRAISE JESUS!!!

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

This is indeed Godly work. I have been doing my own experiments. I am sure that the mechanism of Demon possession can be proved by vivisection.

Here's the bare-bones of the thesis:

When Satan inhabits a host (small animal) to be a witch's familar, this process happens on the microscopic level. Basically, Satan leaves his mark on a cell or a organ. These are typical Satanic symbols, things like the number 666, an inverted pentagram or a goats heard.

And they had the audacity to throw me out of the university and call me crazy

Oh, that just reminds me of the new movie Expelled! When will they stop prosecuting Christian Scientists and new ideas? Say, how many small animals participated in the experiment, of what species? Remember, anything less than 30 is not statistically representative .

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

This is indeed Godly work. I have been doing my own experiments. I am sure that the mechanism of Demon possession can be proved by vivisection.

Here's the bare-bones of the thesis:

When Satan inhabits a host (small animal) to be a witch's familar, this process happens on the microscopic level. Basically, Satan leaves his mark on a cell or a organ. These are typical Satanic symbols, things like the number 666, an inverted pentagram or a goats heard.

And they had the audacity to throw me out of the university and call me crazy

[SUV]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

I had a bunch of these stickers printed off. They're just great for covering up PETA bumper stickers, Praise Jesus:[ATTACH]4257[/ATTACH]

Great, Brother Temperance! That's exactly what I need to balance out the sticker I have on the other side of the SUV bumper:

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Am I the only one seeing the humor in this irony?

That's beside the point, if this is what you do with the tithes given to you from these misconstrued member of this forum, then I have been more repelled from Jesus now than I ever have.

We use our tithe money to fund GODLY projects we know Jesus would approve of!

After all, it's Jesus' money and it's what Jesus wants that counts! What's the matter with you anyway, Ding Dong?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Brother Bathfire, the downRight sinfulness of the animals you've shown makes me puke. Not one, $ave the DoG, is smiling
and Grateful to be receiving of so much of Man's attention.

In Godly Tennessee, animals (pigs in particular) are happy and participate in the process of becoming Snacks for we True Christians!

The Evidence doesn't lie! Behold!:

I have to say, this one looks like it could be an early front-runner for the 2008 Landover Allah/MooHamMad cartoon contest.

In other news, I had a bunch of these stickers printed off. They're just great for covering up PETA bumper stickers, Praise Jesus:

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Am I the only one seeing the humor in this irony?

That's beside the point, if this is what you do with the tithes given to you from these misconstrued member of this forum, then I have been more repelled from Jesus now than I ever have.

Ge:1:26: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

The Lord gave us the animals that we might live well. What better use than to put them towards better ways of praising Him and understanding His ways? And just look at those happy Pigs in Sister SUV's post, the Lord is generous!

[SUV]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

Brother Bathfire, the downRight sinfulness of the animals you've shown makes me puke. Not one, $ave the DoG, is smiling
and Grateful to be receiving of so much of Man's attention.

In Godly Tennessee, animals (pigs in particular) are happy and participate in the process of becoming Snacks for we True Christians!

The Evidence doesn't lie! Behold!:

[Nobar King]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

We're sorry to hear that. We do everything we can to help spread the word of Jesus and show people the righteous way. You time here has been short, but you need to study and learn to love Him. Not everyone can expect it to happen instantly. You must have patience. With patience comes understanding.

[LyingDingDong]

Re: Vivisection in Landover! Tour the Laboratory

No, here we go in for Biblical Science (BS)...

Am I the only one seeing the humor in this irony?

That's beside the point, if this is what you do with the tithes given to you from these misconstrued member of this forum, then I have been more repelled from Jesus now than I ever have.