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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930

    #1

    The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

    The truth is lesbianism is all posturing and pretending to be something you're not. Have you ever wondered why lesbians are always so unhappy?



    When a woman's body leaves its natural use of being a sperm receptacle and baby factory (Romans 1:26), its sex drive shuts down. This is a well known scientific phenomenon termed "lesbian bed death". This is where the woman living in a sinful and disgusting relationship can barely bear even having the sex any longer. And this is why lesbians have less sex than any other type of couple.

    God made men's bodies differently. He intelligently designed us to want to ejaculate. He designed women to want to receive her husband's sperm. The man's sperm acts like God's own Viagra and Prozac for the weaker sex.



    Without the occasional fertilization, you end up with an unhappy joyless woman who likes Subaru, Birkenstock and lots of junk food.

    In fact, Lesbian woman are more likely to have breast cancer, be obese, smoke cigarettes and abuse alcohol.

    Causes of lesbianism?

    According to Dr. Trevor Milton, of the American Family Values Institute,

    They think they will find fulfillment, satisfaction and/or contentment with another woman, but they never, ever do. They don't even know exactly what they're looking for in such a relationship - it almost always has to do with some sort of unresolved conflict/emotional trauma that involves their mother and themselves at a very young age (preteen in every case.) The more severe the trauma (or the individual's perception of its severity), the more hard core lesbian they try to be.
    Rachel Maddow is a perfect example. Her trauma must have been very profound to her, because it is clear to even the most casual observer that the woman is consumed with self loathing. Ellen DeGeneres is at the same level.

    Lesbians are just ugly women who can't attract handsome men, so they go all sour grapes on the entire male sex and try to get off with each other instead, with disastrous consequences. Wouldn't you be bitter?
    When asked if a lesbian couple appears to be happy.

    They only appear happy outwardly.
    Lesbian relationships have an extremely poor survival rate. It's essentially impossible to find a lesbian couple that has been together for more than 10 years.
    Inwardly, they are invariable consumed with insecurity, fear, confusion, dissatisfaction, angst and frustration. In fact, gay and lesbian relationships have a significantly higher incidence of violence and abuse than hetero ones.
    The truth of the matter is, there is no such thing as a lesbian. It is just the lack of opportunities for these women to find nice men.

    If everyone would go to church, like they are supposed to, there wouldn't be a problem. Men could find nice women, so they wouldn't have to be faggots. Women could find nice men, so they wouldn't have to dry up childless in a loveless relationship.
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

    I have seen some of these lesbians and I am not surprised that they have the least amount of sex among couple types.

    Take two people who are so ugly and messed up that they cannot even find ONE boyfriend and then let them get married. It's a recipe for disaster.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22882

      #3
      Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

      You don't get to be a doctor for nothing: you have to be clever and observant. Dr. Trevor Milton sums up my feelings on this matter.

      However, not all of them look like a badger's ass. I remember one lady several years younger than me. I explained to her that I was very wealthy and Christian and asked if she would like to come back to my home and read Numbers with me, she was most offensive. I instantly diagnosed her as a lesbian and told here so.

      My worst fears were confirmed. She went wild - only a lesbian would do that.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • Pastor Isaac Peters
        Senior Pastor
        Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
        Always Biblically correct
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 10639

        #4
        Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

        Of course lezbanian "relationships" are fake. God has set things up so that in a Christian marriage, the man is the head of the woman:

        [1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV] 3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.

        Same-sex "relationships" are inherently unstable because a "relationship" between two male sodomites forms a two-headed monster, while one between two sodomitesses forms a headless monster. In neither case can one person give the guidance to the other that God has ordained.
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

        sigpic

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

          Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
          The truth of the matter is, there is no such thing as a lesbian. It is just the lack of opportunities for these women to find nice men.
          I think this is exactly right, Pastor. I often wonder how false church pastors must feel when they face Jesus at the end of their lives and have to account for making their churches so feminine that they scare away the real men. The "music" consists of some young rock band with a smoke machine belching, and lights flashing. Who wants to pretend they're at some hard-rock Justine Bieber concert on Sunday morning? All their sermons focus on emotions and love and being nice, and all kinds of frou-frou topics. Well, it appeals to women, but what man wants to endure that every week? Or at all, really? It's no wonder churches are usually populated by ladies these days and fewer men are going. False Christian churches are practically lesbo pick-up joints these days.
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Lordmaybemysaviour
            Unsaved trash
            • Oct 2013
            • 17

            #6
            Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

            Lesbians have feelings to instead of saying their relationships are fake how about we all put some effort into turning then back into the Cum Dumpsters they were meant to be.

            Comment

            • Didymus Much
              Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
              • Jun 2010
              • 14079

              #7
              Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

              Originally posted by Lordmaybemysaviour View Post
              ...how about we all put some effort into turning then back into the Cum Dumpsters they were meant to be.
              Like your mom?

              Man, she was disappointing.

              But whatever. The True Christians(tm) plan to put back right everything that's wrong with this world cannot fail, because they have the Power of Prayer(c) on their side.

              Comment

              • Lordmaybemysaviour
                Unsaved trash
                • Oct 2013
                • 17

                #8
                Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

                Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                Like your mom?

                Man, she was disappointing.

                But whatever. The True Christians™ plan to put back right everything that's wrong with this world cannot fail, because they have the Power of Prayer© on their side.
                Also like your sister not only disappointing but also full of the devils Herpes

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78555

                  #9
                  Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

                  Originally posted by Lordmaybemysaviour View Post
                  Lesbians have feelings to instead of saying their relationships are fake how about we all put some effort into turning then back into the Cum Dumpsters they were meant to be.
                  What do "feelings" have to do with it? Snails and slugs have "feelings" too.



                  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. Romans 1:26-27
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Thomas Taylor
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Oct 2012
                    • 1486

                    #10
                    Re: The Bible and science agree: Lesbian relationships are fake.

                    Originally posted by Lordmaybemysaviour View Post
                    Also like your sister not only disappointing but also full of the devils Herpes
                    Hey, bubba. That's enough of that now. Mr. Much may be a hell bound atheist but, he is our hellbound atheist. We at Landover have spent many long hours attempting to make him see the Light of God's Love and, recently, it would appear we have been making headway.

                    Now you, like some helion sent by satan, come here and start to undermine our hard work. Shame on you.

                    P.S. Using derogatory term for women is not acceptable.
                    Isaiah 66:15

                    For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                    Comment

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