Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

[Rain]

Whilst scouring the UnGodly internet as usual, and whilst averting my eyes to the usual filth, I came across THIS...

http://www.daregothic.co.uk/devilution.htm

This little wicker get together is happening TONIGHT and literally 20 MILES away from my dear little home!!

I am determined to show them His Word and send half of these little goth wickers to the firey depths of Hell, but none of my other lovely True Christian neighbours are around tonight (a dinner party if I recall...) and I'd rather not face ALL of those wickers alone!!!

Any advice on how to suitably go about doing His Work and ridding these little wickers of their little Satan Worshipping rituals?

~Rain

[SUV]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Be strong, Sister Rain! If I myself weren't so heavily involved in my Christmas Shopping/Gift Wrapping/Eggnog Making, I'd hang around here longer to think of something you could do about it!

PS MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Whilst scouring the UnGodly internet as usual, and whilst averting my eyes to the usual filth, I came across THIS...

http://www.daregothic.co.uk/devilution.htm

This little wicker get together is happening TONIGHT and literally 20 MILES away from my dear little home!!

I am determined to show them His Word and send half of these little goth wickers to the firey depths of Hell, but none of my other lovely True Christian neighbours are around tonight (a dinner party if I recall...) and I'd rather not face ALL of those wickers alone!!!

Any advice on how to suitably go about doing His Work and ridding these little wickers of their little Satan Worshipping rituals?

~Rain

God Hates Truro, that's for sure. England will end up an international pariah if we allow things like this to continue. Having said that, it did say they play requests... I'd say your best bet is to try and find something so depressing it'll cause a mass suicide (and considering they'll all be a bunch of sinful goths and emos to start off with, it shouldn't be too difficult), or some music so Godly as to drive the demons out of them. I'd say maybe something along the lines of Suicide (A Better Way) by Choking Victim for the first option, or you could try and track down a recording of some Psalms for the second.

[SUV]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

... I'd say your best bet is to try and find something so depressing it'll cause a mass suicide (and considering they'll all be a bunch of sinful goths and emos to start off with, it shouldn't be too difficult), or some music so Godly as to drive the demons out of them.

I don't know a lot about anything that isn't American, but might I recommend God Shave the Queen? That ought to cover both bases.

[Rain]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

I will be strong and find so many depressing songs to play, the dancefloor will be stained red from all the mass suicide!!

Hmm, I hope they don't notice that I'm not one of them...may the Lord protect my soul!!

~Rain

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

I will be strong and find so many depressing songs to play, the dancefloor will be stained red from all the mass suicide!!

Hmm, I hope they don't notice that I'm not one of them...may the Lord protect my soul!!

~Rain

I'll be praying for you, sister.
You show those wretched goths just how much the Lord loves them!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Here's a thought for you, why not just add some rat poison to the punchbowl, and plant a suicide note on one of the victims attendees, talking about how a bunch of them had decided that life wasn't worth living because they were freaks shut away from God, and they decided to go straight to Hell right away and get a head start on their everlasting punishment?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Where is this party again? Ipswitch?

[Enobarbus]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Where is this party again? Ipswitch?

Wherever it is Pastor the line-up of depraved creatures involved beggars the imagination:

Pictures for those strong in the faith only:

[Enobarbus]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Where is this party again? Ipswitch?

May the good Lord preserve us! I cannot look at those galleries there on that page any longer.

Ipswich? How are we off for tactical nuclear weapons in the Landover armoury, Pastor? We could solve this proplem without Sister Rain have to risk life and limb venturing near the place?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

May the good Lord preserve us! I cannot look at those galleries there on that page any longer.

Ipswich? How are we off for tactical nuclear weapons in the Landover armoury, Pastor? We could solve this proplem without Sister Rain have to risk life and limb venturing near the place?

I was going to put the new Ipswitch slasher on the job. Why waste our own resources on GODforsaken Britishers?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

Argh... I only just realised the full Ungodly Darwinian implications of the name! Can anyone still deny that the opponents of Creation Science take their orders directly from Satan?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

I cannot help but notice that one of the gothtards (in the top right photo, foreground) has a TAN. As we know, gothtards all think they're vampires, or want to be vampires, so they never go in the sun!

Is it possible there's already an infiltrator in their midst? Rain, perhaps you can track down this fellow and uncover his secret plans!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

May the good Lord preserve us! I cannot look at those galleries there on that page any longer.

Ipswich? How are we off for tactical nuclear weapons in the Landover armoury, Pastor? We could solve this proplem without Sister Rain have to risk life and limb venturing near the place?

The place looks small enough. Sister Rain is quite adept with that double-barrel shotgun she won last year for memorizing the old testament. I'd say a well-placed volley of buckshot should do the trick.

We ARE on a budget Brother Eno. Those TNW's cost a pretty penny.

[see_the_light]

Re: Oh dear LORD...Help!!!

May the good Lord preserve us! I cannot look at those galleries there on that page any longer.

Ipswich? How are we off for tactical nuclear weapons in the Landover armoury, Pastor? We could solve this proplem without Sister Rain have to risk life and limb venturing near the place?

AH! yesterday I was about to remember that tithing is only remembered when the need arises!

Had people tithed in time and our PASTORS could have bought a small nuclear arsenal giving us a shield on these ocasions and preserving those instruments so pleasent to GOD in their rightful hands (and not accidentaly far from slimy mess slums)

PRAISE THE LORD AND PUSH THE BUTON!

But the courage of our sister will be remembered in the first service after JESUS calls her.