[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

Now if your supporting character had been real (there is no contemporary evidence to support that he was), today he would have been given some nice bracelets, a trendy orange jump suit and an extended holiday in the Caribbean.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

Now it you want the Original version of your fairy tale should you not be reading it in Hebrew and Greek instead of some 17th Century approximation?

By sheer luck you have hit upon a universal truth; Jesus has caused you to think (in the sense of following His Word.) The obvious universal acceptance of KJV 1611 must have a cause. God wanted us to know his Perfect Word perfectly. Seeing all the mistakes that man had made in Chinese whispering His Message over the years, He therefore chose James, by the Grace of God, King of Britain, to receive the One True Version, thus eliminating all errors.

But whatever version you go for, it still comes down to the lead character in the second half, topping himself because his old man told him to.

I fail to see your logic here, was His Death not temporary? If I say to you, “Oh idiot child, take all your money and invest it in banks!” and you obey me and 10 days later, all bank shares double, you will see that, although you have rendered yourself poor, you are now rich! Temporary poverty! Temporary Death! Now who would not heed such advice.

Now if your supporting character had been real (there is no contemporary evidence to support that he was), today he would have been given some nice bracelets, a trendy orange jump suit and an extended holiday in the Caribbean.

No, not at all – America is, “One Nation Under God.” This Godly message was vouchsafed to us by God Himself through Mr Bush Snr. Thus Our Lord and Savior would have been given The Highest Honors, and Landover and all the Televangelists etc. would have handed over all their wealth to Him to do as He pleased and spread it amongst the poor (but not the unbelievers like you.)

One more thing – your signature – Here in Godly Landover, we don’t handle our food at mealtimes.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

No, not at all " America is, "One Nation Under God." This Godly message was vouchsafed to us by God Himself through Mr Bush Snr. Thus Our Lord and Savior would have been given The Highest Honors, and Landover and all the Televangelists etc. would have handed over all their wealth to Him to do as He pleased and spread it amongst the poor (but not the unbelievers like you.)

In your fairy tail the major world power of the time saw him as a threat, I am just saying how he would have been treated by such a power today

I fail to see your logic here, was His Death not temporary? If I say to you, "Oh idiot child, take all your money and invest it in banks!" and you obey me and 10 days later, all bank shares double, you will see that, although you have rendered yourself poor, you are now rich! Temporary poverty! Temporary Death! Now who would not heed such advice.

I am trying to find the logic in the claim he was killed by the Jews when
I) He topped himself because his Dad told him to.
II)He was only temporarily dead

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

In your fairy tail the major world power of the time saw him as a threat, I am just saying how he would have been treated by such a power today

I know what you were saying, that is why I said what I did. Do you seriously think that the Romans were bothered by what was happening at street level? They were mired and confused and misled by their being heathens – they could not see the Truth and thus, did not care.

I am trying to find the logic in the claim he was killed by the Jews when
I) He topped himself because his Dad told him to.
II)He was only temporarily dead

I am genuinely struggling here to dumb down the Word of God (May Jesus forgive me) that you may receive Him into your very bowels.

How many times have you seen a TV program where some atheist has tried to hire a hit-man to dispose of his wife (contrary to the Law of God). Invariably, these iniquitous miscreants are “stung” by a police officer posing as a contract killer.

The outcome? The wife lives a long and prosperous life but the atheist is convicted of attempt murder and spends quality time breaking rocks.

Simply see the joos as the atheist, the wife as Christ. And I pray to The Lord that you dispense with those ideas lurking in your own immoral mind about killing your wife.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

I am genuinely struggling here to dumb down the Word of God (May Jesus forgive me) that you may receive Him into your very bowels.

How many times have you seen a TV program where some atheist has tried to hire a hit-man to dispose of his wife (contrary to the Law of God). Invariably, these iniquitous miscreants are “stung” by a police officer posing as a contract killer.

The outcome? The wife lives a long and prosperous life but the atheist is convicted of attempt murder and spends quality time breaking rocks.

Simply see the joos as the atheist, the wife as Christ. And I pray to The Lord that you dispense with those ideas lurking in your own immoral mind about killing your wife.

Pontius Pilate was the Roman governor of Judaea from 26 CE to 36 CE (a real person mentioned in writings of the time) would have seen Jesus (maybe a real person but no one wrote about him at the time) if he existed as a threat to the power of Rome and would treat him as such.

I find myself yet again having to repeat the quote mentioned by your Pastor Al E Pistle

John

10:17
Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again.

10:18
No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

Pontius Pilate was the Roman governor of Judaea from 26 CE to 36 CE (a real person mentioned in writings of the time) would have seen Jesus (maybe a real person but no one wrote about him at the time) if he existed as a threat to the power of Rome and would treat him as such.

There is no note in Scripture that Christ opposed Roman Rule, on the contrary, “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” give a bit of a clue as to Christ’s attitude to lawful authority. You will also be aware of God’s command to us to accept lawful authority.

I repeat, the Romans were basically neutral and did not see Christ as anything other than a piece of the Judean rabble. (Their mistake; they are even now being punished by having Satan’s HQ in their capital city.)

I find myself yet again having to repeat the quote mentioned by your Pastor Al E Pistle

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

John

10:17
Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again.

10:18
No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.

And your point is? It is not suicide if you die then come back. In this case, bearing in mind the certainty of coming back, it isn’t even “attempt suicide”.

Anyway, He doesn’t commit suicide, He, “lays down” His Life (but He’s got as many Lives as He wishes.)

Jesus shows that He knows that His Death is temporary. He knows that this will offer to everyone (including you if you accept Him) the hope of Salvation™

You are not thinking properly – you judge The Son of God when He knows everything and you are but a small annoyance to Him and His Creation with the brain (in comparison) of a slug.

Really, sir, your inability to think is astonishing –

Ac:9:5: And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

It is not wise to kick against the pricks and you will find many pricks in opposing the Word of The Lord.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

And your point is? It is not suicide if you die then come back. In this case, bearing in mind the certainty of coming back, it isn’t even “attempt suicide”.

By the same logic then how could he have been killed by the Jews? as his death as you hold to be temporary was his own choice, if the Jews were involved then that can only have been due to his wishes.

Oh and on the subject of my signature...

The first report of the fork as an eating utensil dates back to the 11th century, when the Venetian daughter of Byzantine Emperor Constantine Ducas used a small gold one.

So did not all the characters in your book eat with their fingers? They must have all felt the sauce, maybe that is your problem, you have lost contact with the sauce, and for this I pity you. For until you can feel and accept the Sauce, the joy of The Truth that coats the Noddle is lost to you

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

By the same logic

I'm sure it is not the same logic - mine is Faith, yours is the ramblings of a deluded mind.

then how could he have been killed by the Jews? as his death as you hold to be temporary was his own choice, if the Jews were involved then that can only have been due to his wishes.

Your Noodly god saps the intellect and Faith of what could have been a reasonable mind.

Let me again take you to the real world and crime (although as you have no moral compass, you will have to take my word that what I say is correct.)

A man breaks into a business with the intention of stealing money. There is no money; does he commit robbery? Yes! For that was his intention – he is convicted of the intention. The joos did not believe at all in Christ, so they believed He would die and they believed that they were, by their lies, killing Him. They are Damned and Guilty as Sin!

Oh and on the subject of my signature...

The first report of the fork as an eating utensil dates back to the 11th century, when the Venetian daughter of Byzantine Emperor Constantine Ducas used a small gold one.

Then I merely remark that there is little feeling through a fork and the relevance of a Catlick woman is hardly an indication of Scriptural Doctrine.

So did not all the characters in your book eat with their fingers?

Indeed they did, Christ Himself recommended it. However, if you wish to lead people to the Paths of Righteousness, you need to interact with them at their level and eating pasta with your fingers will not get you many return invites! (Think about it.)

They must have all felt the sauce, maybe that is your problem, you have lost contact with the sauce, and for this I pity you.

Ha! Hoisted on your own petard! And what would any True Chrsitian™ do after eating sauced pasta with their fingers? Wash off all trace of ungodly contamination!

For until you can feel and accept the Sauce, the joy of The Truth that coats the Noddle is lost to you

That which I never had, I cannot lose. It’ll be naked women wrestling in beans next!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

I'm sure it is not the same logic - mine is Faith, yours is the ramblings of a deluded mind. Your Noodly god saps the intellect and Faith of what could have been a reasonable mind.

Let me again take you to the real world and crime (although as you have no moral compass, you will have to take my word that what I say is correct.)

A man breaks into a business with the intention of stealing money. There is no money; does he commit robbery? Yes! For that was his intention " he is convicted of the intention. The joos did not believe at all in Christ, so they believed He would die and they believed that they were, by their lies, killing Him. They are Damned and Guilty as Sin!

But if a person is given the keys to a building by the owner so they can burn it down so the owner can claim on the insurance both are complicit and the arsonist has acted at the behest of the owner, Your book states that your Jesus chose to die (even if only temporary) so anyone that helped did so at his behest and can not have committed a wrong against the him, just as the arsonist has only done what the owner asked them to.

Then I merely remark that there is little feeling through a fork and the relevance of a Catlick woman is hardly an indication of Scriptural Doctrine.

So if forks are the work of the Catholics, so why do use them?

Indeed they did, Christ Himself recommended it. However, if you wish to lead people to the Paths of Righteousness, you need to interact with them at their level and eating pasta with your fingers will not get you many return invites! (Think about it.)

Ha! Hoisted on your own petard! And what would any True Chrsitian" do after eating sauced pasta with their fingers? Wash off all trace of ungodly contamination! That which I never had, I cannot lose. It’ll be naked women wrestling in beans next!

Yes my son you have never had the experience of feeling the sauce, and for that I still pity you, but it is not your fault... I feel your Pain, I feel your Shame, but you are not to blame, The true creator does not hold these things against you, as long as you are good you will get your reward, The Great Noodle knows some will, through no fault of their own, never get to feel the Sauce before they reach the land of Beer Volcanoes and Stripper Factories (where women wrestling in beans will indeed be present, if that is your thing) and he will not hold it against them.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

But if a person is given the keys to a building by the owner so they can burn it down so the owner can claim on the insurance both are complicit and the arsonist has acted at the behest of the owner, Your book states that your Jesus chose to die (even if only temporary) so anyone that helped did so at his behest and can not have committed a wrong against the him, just as the arsonist has only done what the owner asked them to.

You share with other followers of false gods (Catlix, muslins, boodhists, dot-heads, etc) an obstinacy in adherence to air-headedness - there are none as blind as they who will not see! There could not have been a crime in which either God The Father and Jesus were complict - They are Both free of sin. Your noodly appendage should bow his knees (does he have knees?) before Them.

So if forks are the work of the Catholics, so why do use them?

Forks are there to remind us of the devil and his fork with which he pushes the worshippers of false gods into the eternal pit of brimstone.

Yes my son you have never had the experience of feeling the sauce,

The sauce is not with me.

I feel your Pain,

I doubt it, you are not the one having to halve his IQ to post something you can understand.

I feel your Shame,

I am but a humble True Christian, almost unworthy of Jesus' Love.

but you are not to blame,

i know, I am Saved™

The true creator does not hold these things against you,

If that creature comes within 100 yards with the intention of holding anything against me, my Godly shotgun will despatch it.

as long as you are good you will get your reward,

I have promise of my reward, I will spend endless days saying how great God is, (and He is too!)

The Great Noodle knows some will, through no fault of their own, never get to feel the Sauce before they reach the land of Beer Volcanoes and Stripper Factories (where women wrestling in beans will indeed be present, if that is your thing) and he will not hold it against them.

What? Even if the sauce is not with you, you can reach a beer volcano? He wants a different business structure here - there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Son, you do need to crack open a bible (KJV1611) to have Jesus' Love fill you. Your present ramblings and heathenism remind me of some unemployed slot-machine engineer, whom I once met, pan-handling and spouting gibberish and heresy - a sad case and destined for the down elevator.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

There could not have been a crime in which either God The Father and Jesus were complict - They are Both free of sin. Your noodly appendage should bow his knees (does he have knees?) before Them.

As your book says Jesus killed himself at the request of his Dad then as you say there can be no sin so the Jews are off the hook.

Forks are there to remind us of the devil and his fork with which he pushes the worshippers of false gods into the eternal pit of brimstone.

So you eat with something you think is the symbol of evil?

The sauce is not with me. I doubt it, you are not the one having to halve his IQ to post something you can understand. I am but a humble True Christian, almost unworthy of Jesus' Love. i know, I am Saved If that creature comes within 100 yards with the intention of holding anything against me, my Godly shotgun will despatch it. I have promise of my reward, I will spend endless days saying how great God is, (and He is too!) What? Even if the sauce is not with you, you can reach a beer volcano? He wants a different business structure here - there's no such thing as a free lunch.

My son, even as closed to the truth as you are, our creator will not hold it against you as long as you lead a good life

Son, you do need to crack open a bible (KJV1611) to have Jesus' Love fill you. Your present ramblings and heathenism remind me of some unemployed slot-machine engineer, whom I once met, pan-handling and spouting gibberish and heresy - a sad case and destined for the down elevator.

I have no need to "crack open" your fairy tale. I know our creator loves all his creation, you seem not to be able to accept that.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

As your book says Jesus killed himself at the request of his Dad then as you say there can be no sin so the Jews are off the hook.

No, no, no! The Joos thought they were setting up the Crucifixion - they laid false charges to ensure it - they pleaded with Pilate - they rabble-roused the crowd - they believed that they were causing the Crucifixion - the thought is the deed and, as usual they had the basest of motives - to Kill Christ! They were not to know, that their mendacity merely fell in with God's Plan, for they did not listen to Jesus!

Jesus and his Father brought off a sting operation for those who would not accept Jesus as leader. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves - and they did! Oh why did they not accept Christ?!

So you eat with something you think is the symbol of evil?

I am sure that your vehicle and home are filled with images (graven or otherwise) of His Noodliness to remind you of what it is he does (does he do anything?). The fork is there as a reminder - it is symbolic.

My son, even as closed to the truth as you are, our creator will not hold it against you as long as you lead a good life

And there is an instruction manual for this somewhere written in the American of the 17th century, bound in leather and embossed with gold?

I have no need to "crack open" your fairy tale. I know our creator loves all his creation, you seem not to be able to accept that.

I certainly cannot accept that his noodliness loves anything; does he ever speak?

You see the trouble with minor gods is that the more people worship them, the more there is likely to be a schism, the more likely there are to be fundamentalists, etc. FSM, as per God's instructions, should not be worshipped - only awfulness will ensue!

[WickedWitch]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

[INTERRUPTION]

I have been TOUCHED by HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!!

[/INTERRUPTION]

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

Point out where and I will wipe it off with a linen napkin.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Evils of the Noodly Appendage!

No, no, no! The Joos thought they were setting up the Crucifixion - they laid false charges to ensure it - they pleaded with Pilate - they rabble-roused the crowd - they believed that they were causing the Crucifixion - the thought is the deed and, as usual they had the basest of motives - to Kill Christ! They were not to know, that their mendacity merely fell in with God's Plan, for they did not listen to Jesus!

Jesus and his Father brought off a sting operation for those who would not accept Jesus as leader. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves - and they did! Oh why did they not accept Christ?!

Your mythology says that Jesus died for the sins of man, your book says he died of his own choice at the behest of his father, so if the Jews did play any part in all this they where only doing what Jesus and his old man wanted and had made them do. It was entrapment, and would not stand up in court today.

And there is an instruction manual for this somewhere written in the American of the 17th century, bound in leather and embossed with gold?

That would be English then, I do understand you people do have a problem with English as you don't even know how the letters of the alphabet sound (hint: Last letter of alphabet is pronounced ZED)

You see the trouble with minor gods is that the more people worship them, the more there is likely to be a schism, the more likely there are to be fundamentalists, etc. FSM, as per God's instructions, should not be worshipped - only awfulness will ensue!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is no minor god, that implies that you believe that there is more then one God, but all right minded people know that there is only one God, and that is our creator, The Great Noodle himself, but as I have said before, he is not as vain as your mythical god and will reward all that live a good life.